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Sun 8 May, 2005 06:46 pm
"Just Be Yourself"
What does this mean?
(I am not being sarcastic here)
As we've seen in many recent threads here, we don't really have a consensus on what our "Self" is. Therefore, how can we "Just Be Yourself"? Who are we? What do people mean when they say "Just Be Yourself?"
What if a person is naturally inclined to be a pedophile or serial killer? (Yes, sadly it appears there are those kind out there--and I hope someone doesn't come up with the shallow argument "Well that isn't who they really are...they just need some help and they'll get back to their true loving self" because for all intents and purposes it appears there are those types out there who are basically naturally violent animals or whatever)
Or, not so flagrant and obvious (and maybe more difficult to deal with on some levels), there are plenty for whom "Just Be Yourself" seems to mean: Be mean, a racist, a sexist, emotionally abusive, arrogant, etc etc.
***
But without digressing too much, back to the basic question:
On so many levels, how can we "Just Be Yourself"? When it appears, we don't really know or have a consensus on what our true Self is?
Who are you? Who (or what) are you, when you are "Simply Yourself"? Is that really You?
***
I am not who I was 10 years ago, a year ago, or even last week, on many levels. Yet society, my friends, everyone has these expectation and a set of who they think you are. Who they think I am. And I sort of have certain obligations to my friends and family to be that person.
But I often don't feel like I am that person anymore.
Yet it seems like it woud be somewhat immature or irresponsible to change totally into a new person every day. Some would say its insane.
People say "Just Be Yourself." But you know what? If I truly did that, I'd feel like becoming almost an entire new being every few weeks or so. Like we're continually being re-invented as time goes on.
Yet, society and my responsibilities do not really want me to re-invent myself into a new identity every few weeks. Yet if I was to follow my heart of hearts with no regard to others and society, that is what I would need to do.
Kind of like a movie actor or something. They take on a new part every few months. That is how my true heart of heart self feels.
Like my true self is more like a quasar or pulsar or ball of energy floating through this universe. We are alive in the universe, and things like that change through Time. Life in motion, like a kaleidescope that is revolving around the sun through time.
Are we like rocks that stay pretty much the same through time, or are we more like a effervescent comet a continually changing substance in a lava lamp?
Does anyone else have this, or am I just kinda Insane?
That's a damn good question. I don't think there is a single person on the planet who can externally be their true self.
There are too many faces one must wear for varying circumstances. Many variables come into play that cause slight alterations of the personality.
It means not to put up a facade, or fake personality or nature because you think that might be more salable in some situation. It means to react the way you would react if you were in a situation of no importance. When so doing, you can filter things out of your behavior, for example to be polite, bot don't deliberately behave differently in order to achieve some effect.
Actually, don't all people borrow traits from their parents, siblings, etc. in order to attain "self"?
So there is no true self. Just a bunch of borrowed traits.
gustavratzenhofer wrote:Actually, don't all people borrow traits from their parents, siblings, etc. in order to attain "self"?
So there is no true self. Just a bunch of borrowed traits.
Wow.
Now that boggles the mind on a whole other level.
I got nuthin' to say, Gus. (You got me straight trippin'!, boo!)
Someone else comment on this???--I said enough.
Wow.
gustavratzenhofer wrote:Actually, don't all people borrow traits from their parents, siblings, etc. in order to attain "self"?
So there is no true self. Just a bunch of borrowed traits.
I think there is a difference between adopting a trait you consider worthy, and deliberately projecting a false persona in a given conversation.
Our traits are not our selves. Our self is our being, the experiencer. Traits may change but the experiencer will always be you. :wink:
It takes a lot of introspection, but you can be yourself. Ironically sometimes others can help you find yourself.
booman2 wrote:...Ironically sometimes others can help you find yourself.
The Yellow Pages can be very helpful.
You are not you, you are all that have been before.
that means genetical and cultural.
For that reason there is hardly a free will.
gustavratzenhofer wrote:Actually, don't all people borrow traits from their parents, siblings, etc. in order to attain "self"?
So there is no true self. Just a bunch of borrowed traits.
But a unique bunch of borrowed traits...
Ray wrote:Our traits are not our selves. Our self is our being, the experiencer. Traits may change but the experiencer will always be you. :wink:
Been here before, but how do you know the experiencer doesn't change?
I think 'just be yourself' means:
'With only small and relatively harmless deviations for social norms, act as you feel comfortable doing, and avoid consciously imitating anyone else'.
Great advice, unless you happen to feel most comfortable when imitating others, as, it seems to me, most people who are advised to 'just be themselves' are.
I really don't understand what people mean when they say, just be yourself. It's kinda weird.
I mean, I might have conflicting feelings or beliefs, so which one is "myself"? and if someone wants to be like a certain person, then isnb't the person being himself because he's trying to live up to his ideal?
djbt wrote:I think 'just be yourself' means:
'With only small and relatively harmless deviations for social norms, act as you feel comfortable doing, and avoid consciously imitating anyone else'.
I agree.
djbt wrote:Great advice, unless you happen to feel most comfortable when imitating others, as, it seems to me, most people who are advised to 'just be themselves' are.
But the advice means, "Don't do that!"
Ray wrote:I really don't understand what people mean when they say, just be yourself. It's kinda weird.
I mean, I might have conflicting feelings or beliefs, so which one is "myself"? and if someone wants to be like a certain person, then isnb't the person being himself because he's trying to live up to his ideal?
It is an admonition not to project a false personality in order to achieve some desired effect. It means to react the way you would if you weren't trying to accomplish anything except to say what you think. It means not to plan your responses, and to be sincere.
Wait, so if I was not happy with my personality and was trying to change it, I would not be sincere?
If that was what you were stating, I would disagree completely.
If we were to let our subconscious control what we do, what we would get is a mess.
This is probably not what you're saying though.
Quote:Been here before, but how do you know the experiencer doesn't change?
Define experiencer. :wink:
The experiencer to me is the continuing cognitive pattern.
Ray wrote:Quote:Been here before, but how do you know the experiencer doesn't change?
Define experiencer. :wink:
That which feels/experiences. I'll try to think of a better one, but that's pretty much what I'd been by it.
Ray wrote:The experiencer to me is the continuing cognitive pattern.
Er, define continuing cognitive pattern...
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