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AS THE NEW PRESIDENT OF A2K...

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kickycan
 
Reply Sun 8 May, 2005 08:25 am
...I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of the president of Able2Know, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of A2K...I mean, if there was one, I would...but since there isn't, I'm going to get drunk a lot instead and post idiotic drivel.

<polite applause>

...I would first like to thank all my opponents in this race. They were all worthy adversaries, and true A2Kaians. And now that the race is over, I would like to open my arms to them, and invite them to join me, as I start my presidential term, in a spirit of peace and unity, and drinks for everybody.

<roaring ovation>

I would also like to thank all my campaign cohorts and supporters, without whom I would not be standing here before you today...Lord Ellpus, Pragmatic, justa_babbling_brooke...and the countless others who came out and supported me with their words, with their deeds, and most importantly, with their threats of violence.

<polite applause>

And finally, I would like to thank all of you who voted for me, and delivered a landslide victory in such dramatic fashion that I could hardly believe it myself. My warmest heartfelt thanks to you.

<smattering of applause, accompanied by one lone woman screaming, "You cheated, you sonofabitch!--I'll get you, goatf*cker!!!">

Ahem...er...okay, moving right along...and now, without further ado, I would like to announce our new vice president, a person who is really the model of what A2K is all about, someone who will fulfill his duties with vigor and strength of character, a man who I have the utmost faith in, and respect for...and that man...is...

SMOG!

<silence, crickets chirping>

Ahem, hehehe...once again, a round of applause for the new vice president...SMOG!!!

<polite somewhat confused smattering of applause>

Okay, then...ummm...so Smog is going to be the new Vice President...yeah! He's the man! <giving two thumbs up>

...and for now, I will leave it at that. I'll be back with more of my plans for the coming days and months, but for now, I have arranged for us to have a big party...and to that end, I would like to announce that for the next twenty four hours, free booze and body shots for everyone!

<thunderous applause>
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Type: Discussion • Score: 2 • Views: 17,023 • Replies: 411
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sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Sun 8 May, 2005 08:30 am
<reads election bylaws where it says the #2 vote-getter becomes VP>

<reads revision to election bylaws where it says Prez can do whatever he damn well pleases>

<thanks lucky stars that I won't have to be #2 to his Scrotumness>

<tosses a thumbs-up Smog's way, heads off to party with nimh and dlowan>
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Sun 8 May, 2005 08:31 am
I for one demand a recount and also a poll to learn how many a2kers go along with elections like this. I think you may find a sizeable number of protestors in the back back back alley cordoned off for such activity.
0 Replies
 
kickycan
 
  1  
Reply Sun 8 May, 2005 08:33 am
Well, I say, break those barriers down, and let the protesters join the party!!!

(protester babes are so hot)
0 Replies
 
squinney
 
  1  
Reply Sun 8 May, 2005 08:36 am
Um, sure. Free booze. You haven't directed us to the bar. alls I can see is an empty white room.


Am I in the right place?
0 Replies
 
Bi-Polar Bear
 
  1  
Reply Sun 8 May, 2005 08:43 am
kickycan wrote:
Well, I say, break those barriers down, and let the protesters join the party!!!

(protester babes are so hot)


They all have big hooters and no bra. If you stick em in a tub and then shave their legs and pits, it's good times.

To all the complainers and whiners I say, get over it. Kicky has a mandate. You're either with him or against him. What are you ass wipes, Saddam sympathizers or something?
0 Replies
 
kickycan
 
  1  
Reply Sun 8 May, 2005 08:48 am
squinney wrote:
Um, sure. Free booze. You haven't directed us to the bar. alls I can see is an empty white room.


Am I in the right place?


What, I gotta draw you a picture?

The bar is on your right!


http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0SQDpAoQWhlM*Ubvi5K2yG9Q0q6y1rI9Gmhybj4SaBRXfW7wWyz9CO1QI2N2GlLDUYR8I3FjRnaYipXR5UO9MZEjhVzINB98qJiepj5CjoVmQQyvgKX7LhQ/aparty.jpg
0 Replies
 
kickycan
 
  1  
Reply Sun 8 May, 2005 08:55 am
Blueveignedthrobber and Sozobe, showing us how a body shot is supposed to be done...now THIS is a presidential party, people!

http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0TQAAAPEXHcBdq*BG2msRjcZBto59UWmIrP4biYHxfWq!3nEQuKtDV4bV0Wq31bzZVfO35Xv8GOQQOMJ3eIVI919pEReQtbjQfWYgJe!Ssowm1PNwpWUFNw/abodyshot1.jpg
0 Replies
 
Bi-Polar Bear
 
  1  
Reply Sun 8 May, 2005 09:05 am
yum yum yum...
0 Replies
 
kickycan
 
  1  
Reply Sun 8 May, 2005 09:14 am
And the love and beauty party are here too! I'm so glad to see that they've decided to let bygones be bygones and just have a good time!

http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0VgCZAvcbiQLYGMm1ZxTPMu33hu71E76Xqicxhxf8MC7Min0XoUiGJmbZp8HeSoKXgR1EGgItR3zhkyvXXPveyNIdAAc0DyEvFOS8C5yof2ANgBUrhwiuz*JgsyVi7S0S/aloveandbeautyparty.jpg
0 Replies
 
Bi-Polar Bear
 
  1  
Reply Sun 8 May, 2005 09:15 am
kickycan wrote:
And the love and beauty party are here too! I'm so glad to see that they've decided to let bygones be bygones and just have a good time!

http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0VgCZAvcbiQLYGMm1ZxTPMu33hu71E76Xqicxhxf8MC7Min0XoUiGJmbZp8HeSoKXgR1EGgItR3zhkyvXXPveyNIdAAc0DyEvFOS8C5yof2ANgBUrhwiuz*JgsyVi7S0S/aloveandbeautyparty.jpg



Ohhhh yeah!!!!!!
0 Replies
 
littlek
 
  1  
Reply Sun 8 May, 2005 10:04 am
ooohh Geez!
0 Replies
 
smog
 
  1  
Reply Sun 8 May, 2005 03:54 pm
Wait, what? Whoa. Well... wow.

This is unexpected, Kicky! While I was one of those who voiced opposition to the structure of the election, I still will accept this gracious appointment. This way, I can represent and reinforce the ideals of Læknir Scrat and all the other like-minded people of A2K. And Edgar, don't worry, I'm normally one of those people hiding in the "back back back alley" so I'll make sure they are satisfied.

I'd like to thank the crickets for chirping their support for me during Kicky's speech.

I probably won't post nearly as many pictures as he does of chicks kissing each other, but that's okay; it will keep our adminstration well-rounded.
0 Replies
 
Lord Ellpus
 
  1  
Reply Sun 8 May, 2005 08:52 pm
Note to Smog....

Smog, I have received the £2000 in used notes, and confirm that Mr K. will definitely make the surprise announcement of your appointment in the near future. I will now pass on the aforementioned £1500 to Mr K. by special Courier.

Note to Mr K......

I have received the £1000 from Smog for the "VP thing", and will send it to you via special Courier. As you know, the Dollar is weak at the moment and I have just worked out the exchange rate, minus the cost of the Courier, and calculate the net amount to be $817.

I therefore enclose a Bankers Draft for the said $317.

Dont worry about my expenses regarding this matter Mr K, just call it a goodwill gesture to celebrate your appointment.

Ellpus.
0 Replies
 
Lord Ellpus
 
  1  
Reply Sun 8 May, 2005 08:53 pm
OOPS......I see Mr K. has already made the announcement.

Please diregard previous post.
0 Replies
 
margo
 
  1  
Reply Sun 8 May, 2005 11:29 pm
Kicky! President???

Oh, nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!
0 Replies
 
dagmaraka
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 May, 2005 12:22 am
Where's nimh? Just about time to start the revolution! Grab your banners, children and dogs, and get out on the street to protest the rigged election!
0 Replies
 
bigdice67
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 May, 2005 02:08 am
I think nimh's in exile.
0 Replies
 
nimh
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 May, 2005 07:11 am
Smog got to be VP? Goodie! A happy end to the whole tale after all!

Smog, let me be the first (apart from the crickets) to congratulate you. You're absolutely the right man for the job.

May I propose nominating Laeknir for eh, something important as well? I might still join this party ...
0 Replies
 
gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 May, 2005 07:26 am
Gustav reads the news of Kicky's victory and races to the phone.

"Hello, Bob. Gus here. Say, get some of the boys together and meet me in front of Kicky's apartment. What? Yeah, yeah, that's the place. The one with the broken windows and the rats scurrying about. What for? You'll see...."

http://www.americanlynching.com/images/pic7.gif
0 Replies
 
 

 
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