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Good Comeback Line

 
 
Reply Sun 8 May, 2005 06:29 am
This was allegedly in the Washington Post...the title of the article was "Best Comeback Line Ever."

Police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday. The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need." "I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin." Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. "I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?' He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me straight in the face and said, "A pumpkin? Damn ... is it midnight already??"
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 929 • Replies: 18
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msolga
 
  1  
Reply Sun 8 May, 2005 06:43 am
Laughing
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bigdice67
 
  1  
Reply Sun 8 May, 2005 06:56 am
Frikken hilarious!!!!
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Aldistar
 
  1  
Reply Sun 8 May, 2005 10:59 pm
Laughing Loved it!! Laughing
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margo
 
  1  
Reply Sun 8 May, 2005 11:16 pm
Surprised

Smile
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material girl
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 May, 2005 02:01 am
An absolute classic, but why would he have been screwing a coach in the first place?
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Merry Andrew
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 May, 2005 04:37 am
material girl wrote:
An absolute classic, but why would he have been screwing a coach in the first place?


Excellent point, material girl.
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material girl
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 May, 2005 04:43 am
Thank you, aint no pumpkin gona catch me out!
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Sanctuary
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 May, 2005 04:54 am
Material, I never would have caught that Laughing

Very nice, nonetheless.
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rodeman
 
  1  
Reply Tue 10 May, 2005 07:58 am
I refuse to wait till fall for a date................??
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material girl
 
  1  
Reply Tue 10 May, 2005 08:33 am
We're talking about pumpkins, not dates.What season do dates grow?
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rodeman
 
  1  
Reply Tue 10 May, 2005 01:19 pm
material girl

Not dates, the fruits...........date as in a boy and girl going out.

Pumpkins are usually harvested in the fall.........no?

Are we clear??
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Ticomaya
 
  1  
Reply Tue 10 May, 2005 01:43 pm
What the hell is in the water in Georgia?
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Merry Andrew
 
  1  
Reply Tue 10 May, 2005 02:59 pm
Ticomaya wrote:
What the hell is in the water in Georgia?


You ever been in Georgia. Tico? Ain't much else to do but get bizarre. The definition of 'virgin' down there is a girl who can run faster than any of her male relatives.
0 Replies
 
rodeman
 
  1  
Reply Tue 10 May, 2005 03:14 pm
I wonder if he kissed the pumpkin before he screwed it?????
0 Replies
 
material girl
 
  1  
Reply Wed 11 May, 2005 01:55 am
Rodeman-I did understand, that was my joke.We were talking about screwing pumpkins so I attempted a joke at screwing a date(fruit).I wont give up my day job.
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Merry Andrew
 
  1  
Reply Wed 11 May, 2005 03:09 am
Don't worry, Material. I got it right off.
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Ticomaya
 
  1  
Reply Wed 11 May, 2005 08:23 am
Merry Andrew wrote:
Don't worry, Material. I got it right off.


As did I. And I thought it was clever to boot.
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material girl
 
  1  
Reply Wed 11 May, 2005 08:27 am
Merry/Tico-Thanks,we are on the same wavelength.
0 Replies
 
 

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