The line between harmless teasing and insult

Ray, yes, you are absolutely correct. The main thing is to make certain that the person to whom you are speaking understands that it's all in fun. Often, through certain language barriers, the intent is missed and an individual can feel wounded.

I say scew em if they can't take a joke. :wink:

Hey, Ray. Someone is having a party so it's your chance to make your point:

http://www.able2know.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=51175

Ray - Great thread.

I also think that people often 'choose' to be insulted.

Like if a jest was too funny - and then they get all pissed. They are choosing to be insulted.

TTF

I think that when someone "chooses" to be teased, they are making fun of something that they know isn't them. At least that's how I see it.

I think it's harmless as long as they know they can insult you back. There is nothing worse than being razzed by someone who can't take it like they dish it out.

I make fun of myself just as much as others. Self-depreciating humor is the best!

Then there are the type who love to make fun of others.

But when the tables are turned, they totally freak out and get all bent outta shape and can't handle it! Anyone ever encounter that?

Yep. I have lots of encounters with people who constantly insults in a harsh tone; you know in that "hey I'm superior to you" way. Personally I can't stand those because they're obviously trying to degrade you personally. I find that not getting mad and letting them see that it doesn't have any effect on you is pretty useful.

My friend, he out of the blues say something stupid, but you know he's joking because he's being happy-go-lucky with it, and he drops it afterwards or you know that he wasn't trying to insult you personally. Though I hate it when he does that in a debate. Got an advice from him: there's no point in arguing with an idiot (someone who won't argue rationally), because you make yourself look like an idiot in the process.

It becomes harmful & unpleasant when the teaser continues relentlessly, despite clearly observing the discomfort of the teasee.

Basically, the only reason to tease or insult somebody is to get a negative stroke in return, so what does it matter? If you really need a negative stroke badly insult somebody, and maybe they'll slug you. That would keep you satisfied for a while.

I'm not joking here. The only reason to tease or insult somebody is to get a negative stroke. I spent the first 40 years of my life doing that. You learn about negative strokes and how to stop the first hour in therapy.

Remember Abuzz? I left Abuzz a little more than a year ago after it had degenerated into little more than a place to trade negative strokes.