Men are the New Women pt. 371: The Man Date

Didn't Seinfeld have an episode about this about ten years ago? He and Keith Hernandez? Or is this different.

God, I hope this man-date term doesn't catch on. I will have to kill somebody.

Of course women love this kind of crap. It's a way to make men into the little sensitive girls that all women think they want us to be.

Why is it that some women can't help trying to turn us into them? It's f*cking annoying.

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kickycan wrote:

Didn't Seinfeld have an episode about this about ten years ago? He and Keith Hernandez? Or is this different.

God, I hope this man-date term doesn't catch on. I will have to kill somebody.

Of course women love this kind of crap. It's a way to make men into the little sensitive girls that all women think they want us to be.

Why is it that some women can't help trying to turn us into them? It's f*cking annoying.

maybe it's some kind of weird latent lesbian thing kick and who doesn't love lesbians. this could work in our favor. we'd get more.

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I don't get what this is all about personally. I've always had a best bud that I've gone out with;ever since I can remember.
The last episode was pretty funny. My friend and I went and ate at a Chinese restaurant, then went next door to a riverside pub. He's married, I'm attached. We're talking mostly about his business(I worked for him), his pre-nup and the fact that his wife wants $30,000 so they can adopt and he's not sure he wants to stay.

We end up at the strip joint at around 11 pm(perfect place for a man date) and who walks in but his wife. While she drags my buddy out the door she's screaming at me:"You scumbag! Leave my husband alone."

Wow. I got to talk to him about 6 months later when she'd collected the pre-nup and was dating a doctor.
We chuckled, dug each other with our elbows and said: "Remember that night so and so caught us at the strip joint?"
That's what a buddy is all about.

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panzade wrote:

I don't get what this is all about personally. I've always had a best bud that I've gone out with;ever since I can remember.
The last episode was pretty funny. My friend and I went and ate at a Chinese restaurant, then went next door to a riverside pub. He's married, I'm attached. We're talking mostly about his business(I worked for him), his pre-nup and the fact that his wife wants $30,000 so they can adopt and he's not sure he wants to stay.

We end up at the strip joint at around 11 pm(perfect place for a man date) and who walks in but his wife. While she drags my buddy out the door she's screaming at me:"You scumbag! Leave my husband alone."

Wow. I got to talk to him about 6 months later when she'd collected the pre-nup and was dating a doctor.
We chuckled, dug each other with our elbows and said: "Remember that night so and so caught us at the strip joint?"

That wasn't at Party Boys was it?
That's what a buddy is all about.

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kickycan wrote:

Why is it that some women can't help trying to turn us into them? It's f*cking annoying.

I don't want my hubby to be like me....I need someone who can hold it together when I am flipping out and bawling. If he started crying, I don't know what I would do. We want men to be sensitive, not castrated.

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FreeDuck wrote:

I was going to say something along the lines of this being an American thing, too. I know men from other cultures that hold hands in public and that is not taboo, even though homosexuality is practically a stoning sin in the same.

Hmm cultural difference, probably, but definitely not one of Europe vs America I dont think. I can't imagine two Dutch buddies holding hands or going arm-in-arm either, let alone English lads (unless they're heading for a soccer game or otherwise raucously drunk).

Italians, yes. Perhaps the cultural difference instead goes back to roughly, say, the Protestant/Catholic border? Wouldnt know why, but that seems to be about where it is ...

Fessing up: I cant ever be seen holding hands with a guy. And yeah, never had dinner with one either. Going to a movie, yeah. Expo I can imagine too. But no walk in the park.

On the other hand ...

Bella Dea wrote:

If he started crying, I don't know what I would do. We want men to be sensitive, not castrated.

Your hubby seriously never cried in front of you? You'd really be nonplussed about what to do? Damn ... thats kind of ... really different. Where does he go then when he's really upset?

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Bella Dea wrote:

.I need someone who can hold it together when I am flipping out and bawling. If he started crying, I don't know what I would do. We want men to be sensitive, not castrated.

Hmmmm...we'll talk about this on Monday when you get back

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I love 'man dates' because I love 1 on 1 outings.

I have two friends who I get to see alone frequently. One is a guy, the other's a girl. I enjoy going out with both of them for almost the same reasons, the only difference is that I normally get into deeper conversations with my guy friend, that with him I get to talk about soccer and/or videogames and that with the girl we hug and sometimes lean on each other. Last summer I was going to go to La Paz with this girl, two months before the trip, she didn't want to go so I ended up going with this guy to a 3 city trip.

I have two other friends with whom I go out less frequently, again one is a guy and the other's a girl.

I feel I get much more out of these relationships than those I have with groups. I even made one guy at my school a 'man dater' a year ago.

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That last part is exactly it for me, nimh. Well, one of the main things. I love my husband dearly, think he's an absolutely fantastic guy, feel very lucky to be married to him, etc. Still, there are times when he drives me totally insane.

There are times when I really, really need to vent to female friends about how insane he is making me, and it helps in so many ways. Helps me separate the wheat from the chaff, the distractions from the real issues. I talk to him directly too of course, but there's always an element of choosing my words carefully, being aware I can't unsay what I've said. It's so helpful to be able to just kinda vent without filters.

I think that's helpful for all relationships.

Men, however, don't seem to have that as readily. They can talk to their wives/ girlfriends, but if they need to talk ABOUT their wives/ girlfriends...?

Panzade, glad you have such a good buddy.

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panzade wrote:

Bella Dea wrote:
.I need someone who can hold it together when I am flipping out and bawling. If he started crying, I don't know what I would do. We want men to be sensitive, not castrated.

Hmmmm...we'll talk about this on Monday when you get back

Why not talk about it now? You don't have to have bella here to tell us about when you cry, do you, you little crybabies? :wink:

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"Man-date" sounds awful and yes, feminizing. There is always some sort of romance in a "date".
So it's a typical bland neologism. But the concept is clear.

Holding hands? Only if I were gay and he was my bf.
Arm-in-arm? In a protest march.
Arms over shoulders? Very common here. Also a hug to say hello and goodbye.

And I agree with nimh in my amazement about a man not crying. I mean, if you're in a restaurant, with a friend, you'll try to wipe up your tears discreetly and don't look bad. But home, with your woman? Aren't you supposed to be able to let go? And, in that case, isn't she also supposed to hold you and protect you and make you feel better?

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sozobe wrote:

Men, however, don't seem to have that as readily. They can talk to their wives/ girlfriends, but if they need to talk ABOUT their wives/ girlfriends...?

Maybe I'm not getting what this woman is saying in the article, but isn't that so NOT what she's talking about? I thought the whole point of this idiotic "man-dating" crap is that you aren't talking about women, but just about...stuff. Stuff that most men don't talk about, like art, or shopping, or some other girly kind of thing. When we are talking about women, that's not a man-date, as far as what I get from the article.

But then again, it's all touchy-feely garbage, so why am I even discussing it with you guys? That's what my gay friends are for!

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sozobe wrote:

Men, however, don't seem to have that as readily. They can talk to their wives/ girlfriends, but if they need to talk ABOUT their wives/ girlfriends...?

Hmm ... this guy I'll tell the bare-bones version of things, but I wont show him how upset exactly I am, no. He'll be able to guess.

Talk about the intense stuff I do with ... well, with my female friends. Or my sister. Or my therapist ;-)

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A little uncomfortable are ya Kicky?

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Hee hee.

No, a big part of the article was talking about relationships (not just the boobs butts part though that too I assume). Like the guy who was talked into staying with his wife by another guy.

I posted the whole thing on page 2 if you haven't seen it yet.

I agree that the name is stupid. Attention-getting but stupid.

I see her point though that whatever it is is more than the standard sports-based or bar-based "hanging out."

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kickycan wrote:

But then again, it's all touchy-feely garbage, so why am I even discussing it with you guys? That's what my gay friends are for!

LOL! Funny..

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nimh wrote:

FreeDuck wrote:
I was going to say something along the lines of this being an American thing, too. I know men from other cultures that hold hands in public and that is not taboo, even though homosexuality is practically a stoning sin in the same.

Hmm cultural difference, probably, but definitely not one of Europe vs America I dont think. I can't imagine two Dutch buddies holding hands or going arm-in-arm either, let alone English lads (unless they're heading for a soccer game or otherwise raucously drunk).

That's kind of what I meant. The men I was talking about who feel comfortable holding hands in public are from a culture where women are still socially subordinate. I wondered how it is in Europe because it would make sense if it was similar to here since women have virtually the same status there as here.

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sozobe wrote:

Hee hee.

Who titled this thread "Men are the New Women pt. 371"?
Talk about attention-getting.

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Er.

I've said that several times here (not 370 though, I don't think), in terms of how gender issues have typically meant women's issues, and now it's starting to mean men's issues and not just in an Iron John kind of way. (Though I guess Iron John did cover a lot of this stuff, sort of... hmm.) Some examples are men and fashion (metrosexual, skin products, fitted shirts, working out, body image) and a lot of new stuff about how boys are shortchanged.

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I see Kicky's not liking this anymore today than he did last night when I posted the link to the article.

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Men are the New Women pt. 371: The Man Date

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