9
   

Does this guy like me?

 
 
bowie80
 
Reply Sat 19 Jan, 2019 01:04 pm
I'm in high school and last year I told this guy I liked him. Before I told him I think maybe he liked me but not sure. When I told him he didn't really say anything. This year we have no classes together but I have been hanging out with him & his friends/my friends. We play card games during lunch and I have been sitting in front of him. Something you should know about me, I make a lot of sexual jokes. The past couple days when I've sat in front of him he keeps kicking my leg over and jokes and says "Why won't you open up" or if I say "**** you" he'll say "Why don't you come over here and do it" or something like that. He also has joked about me stripping/sitting on him/sucking his dick. He's not a fuckboy though. He's a pretty nice person, he's just joking. I'm just curious if he maybe likes me?
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Type: Question • Score: 9 • Views: 761 • Replies: 57

 
chai2
 
  3  
Reply Sat 19 Jan, 2019 03:22 pm
@bowie80,
Sounds like he doesn't think he has to have any respect for you, and I have to say I agree.

PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Sat 19 Jan, 2019 05:07 pm
Comments/jokes made by adolescents when playing card games are never serious.
chai2
 
  3  
Reply Sat 19 Jan, 2019 05:16 pm
@PUNKEY,
Oh. I didn’t realize that it’s ok to say suck my dick and spead your legs for me was if you’re playing cards at the same time.

You do understand this is a young higher school boy saying suck my dick to an equally young high school girl right? And he is physically kicking her legs to get her to spread them for him....and she’s letting him do and say these things.

Funny way of “joking” if you ask me. More like “I can say and do anything I like to her, and she doesn’t stop me. “

Out of all this, the only thing you got out of it was that a deck of cards was involved?

So I can tell you that you are totally out to lunch and out of touch with reality, and you’re fine with other it, as long as we’re playing Go Fish?
bowie80
 
  -1  
Reply Sat 19 Jan, 2019 07:06 pm
@chai2,
What were you saying you agree to? Were you saying you agree he shouldn't respect me?
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  2  
Reply Sat 19 Jan, 2019 07:15 pm
@chai2,
chai2 wrote:

Sounds like he doesn't think he has to have any respect for you, and I have to say I agree.




Read the words I typed above, the ones before the comma.

If I were a teenage boy, and a girl let me say things like “suck my dick” spread your legs for me, strip for me, etc, as well as try to kick your legs apart so he could look up between them, I would have no respect for her, and would just think of her as an easy lay.

To put it bluntly, if you gave him the go ahead he would go ahead and **** you, but he wouldn’t be thinking of you as girlfriend material.

Have some respect for yourself for Christ’s sake.

Like attracts like. If you don’t understand that phrase, google it.

bowie80
 
  1  
Reply Sat 19 Jan, 2019 07:44 pm
@chai2,
Ok, well I understand you might think that out of the context given, but one, I wear jeans and an oversized sweatshirt every day. I kept telling him no and would move my legs back. I'm not a whore, Ok. It's not like I can control what he says. Anyway he was just joking, pretty much everyone in high school is like that in case you didn't know. I wouldn't have sex with anyone either, once again-not a hoe, and I'm too young for that. Idk why you'd say that. Are you a guy or girl? Maybe you don't understand how females (at least teen females) think. I'm not an idiot. I know what's going on. I just had a lot of different feelings about this so I just wanted some advice. Not some asshole who is calling me a whore.
chai2
 
  4  
Reply Sat 19 Jan, 2019 08:16 pm
@bowie80,
Then be better than just about everyone else in your high school.

I understand all about context. I understand joking situations. I understand you want to say and believe I have no idea what I’m talking about.

I also understand that you aren’t sitting there with no panties and a short tight skirt.

You asked for opinions and advice, and you have someone who has been through these experiences and many more. I have no horse in this race, and you are going to do exactly what you want.

Because I have the life experience, I also know you will disagree with me on all points now, but later on you’ll think about this, and look around at how people who respect each other generally get along much better, and have much more satisfying relationships.

You are in high school, and are only recently past the stage where if a boy and a girl like each other, they punch each other in the playground.

You’ve got nothing to lose, so try this experiment for a couple of weeks...

Stop saying “**** you” to this guy, and perhaps to others too. When he says “suck my dick” say to him something like “ you know, I’ve been thinking about it, and I realize I don’t like it when you say that anymore. Could you not say that?”

Start acting like you deserve respect, and you will get it.

He’s saying this stuff because as a boy he’s still more immature than girls the same age. But you can let him know that it would make you happy if he started acting a little more like a man. Whether he then “likes you” is another matter, but he will have more respect for you.

In a few years, none of the kids except the worst losers will still be saying things like suck my dick to members of the opposite sex. They’re going to be the ones who never realized it’s time to grow up and put that kid bullshit aside.

Might be nice if you’re one of the first ones who realize it’s really grade school stuff saying that sort of thing, and it’s time to get real.

Who knows? Once you’ve got it down that it’s not all that great saying douchebag things like **** you or suck my dick, you’ll realize that someone who may not be able to give up that kid bullshit yet is worth your time.

What do you imagine? That you’ll just wake up one day and go to college or off to a job, and you’re going to suddenly just not say that stuff anymore? Might as well start practicing now.

If you’re old enough to like a guy, you’re old enough to realize the kind of conversations you’re having now is really kid stuff.

Be better than that.
bowie80
 
  3  
Reply Sat 19 Jan, 2019 08:34 pm
@chai2,
Okay. You have a good point.
0 Replies
 
neptuneblue
 
  2  
Reply Sat 19 Jan, 2019 08:38 pm
@chai2,
It needs repeated.

chai2 wrote:
Stop saying “**** you” to this guy, and perhaps to others too. When he says “suck my dick” say to him something like “ you know, I’ve been thinking about it, and I realize I don’t like it when you say that anymore. Could you not say that?”

Start acting like you deserve respect, and you will get it.

He’s saying this stuff because as a boy he’s still more immature than girls the same age. But you can let him know that it would make you happy if he started acting a little more like a man. Whether he then “likes you” is another matter, but he will have more respect for you.

In a few years, none of the kids except the worst losers will still be saying things like suck my dick to members of the opposite sex. They’re going to be the ones who never realized it’s time to grow up and put that kid bullshit aside.

Might be nice if you’re one of the first ones who realize it’s really grade school stuff saying that sort of thing, and it’s time to get real.
0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  2  
Reply Sun 20 Jan, 2019 04:40 am
@chai2,
chai2 wrote:

Oh. I didn’t realize that it’s ok to say suck my dick and spead your legs for me was if you’re playing cards at the same time.



How else do you expect to find a partner for Bridge?
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sun 20 Jan, 2019 08:40 am
@izzythepush,
Good one.

One thing I just noticed on rereading.

The OP says she tells the boy “no” whenever he does that kicking her legs apart thing.

Yet, he continues to do it.

Seems our young man doesn’t understand what “no” means, and if questioned would say something like “she really didn’t mean it”

And our young lady doesn’t feel she has any control over what he says or does.

Not a good combination.
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Sun 20 Jan, 2019 09:01 am
@chai2,
Clearly he thinks this behaviour is acceptable.

there was a programme over here called The Inbetweeners about awkward teenage boys saying stupid stuff like that. It ran for three series and two films and was very successful. They've ruled out making any more though because once they stop being teenagers the behaviour is no longer funny.


It did give us the finest dance sequence in any movie.

ehBeth
 
  3  
Reply Sun 20 Jan, 2019 09:20 am
@bowie80,
bowie80 wrote:
He's a pretty nice person


the things he is doing and saying to you are not nice and not respectful

your sexual joking is no better

time to work on developing and demonstrating respect for yourself

---

also consider finding people in your school who were raised to have respect for themselves and others
chai2
 
  2  
Reply Sun 20 Jan, 2019 10:30 am
@izzythepush,
izzythepush wrote:

Clearly he thinks this behaviour is acceptable.



Yes he does, and that’s the problem.

He’s growing into a man, and he and all males need to learn what No means. Also, girls growing into women need to clearly express that their No means No, and is not a coy message of “I’m saying no but it’s ok if you think I don’t mean it”

Sexual jokes can be fine, in the proper setting, and with others who understand it doesn’t convey The totality of the tellers personality.

These 2 are learning the ropes. On the girls part, she’s got to learn when an where the occasional FU or dirty joke can be told, without the other person, right or wrong, getting the wrong message.
izzythepush
 
  2  
Reply Sun 20 Jan, 2019 11:11 am
@chai2,
Agreed, she needs to let him know it's completely unacceptable.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sun 20 Jan, 2019 11:15 am
@bowie80,
bowie80 wrote:
I'm just curious if he maybe likes me?


what about his behaviour makes you think him liking you is a possibility?

do you like him? if so, have you asked him out?
0 Replies
 
maxdancona
 
  -3  
Reply Sun 20 Jan, 2019 11:16 am
@ehBeth,
Quote:
the things he is doing and saying to you are not nice and not respectful

your sexual joking is no better


What the Hell? We all agree about non-consensual sexual behavior. If she likes their sexual banter, and he likes their sexual banter... then neither of them should worry about the opinions of uptight adults with a political agenda.

This is clearly consensual sexual behavior. If this young woman wants to have this type of relationship that includes sexual joking, who cares if it offends people probably 3 times their age.

This girl can say and do anything she like to him as long as he doesn’t stop her. That is the very definition of "consent". Chai suggested something similar with the genders reversed is somehow wrong. Equality means that women and men should chose how they want to express their sexuality.

In my day... we used to say "never trust anyone over 30". If you like this relationship, then go for it. If you don't like it you can either tell him what you do want, or find another relationship.




0 Replies
 
maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Sun 20 Jan, 2019 11:19 am
@bowie80,
To answer the original question...

Yes, he may like you. Your teen years are sometimes awkward. If you like this sexual banter, there is nothing wrong with it (if both people enjoy it). It isn't a real way to a good relationship.

Why not tell him what you do want. If you want a relationship have a conversation about it with him. At this point simply asking him "do you like me?" seems both appropriate and healthy.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Sun 20 Jan, 2019 11:32 am
I agree. Hence my original statement that in this setting, it’s all not serious . It’s mutual, crude, rude remarks. We didn’t hear her replies, but she is an equal participant. Otherwise she would have left the lunch table scene.

Not the right setting to determine another relationship dynamic.

That’s what she asked about.
 

 
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