Does this guy like me?

The responses to this thread are a little ridiculous; a bunch of middle aged people telling a teenaged young woman that it is "disrespectful" for her to talk dirty. Horrors!

The 1950's were all about protecting the innocence of respectable young women from the evils of sex. The people who were adolescents during the 1960's have now become as prudish as their parent's generation.

We have come full circle.

What a load of old bollocks. Men have been treating women like **** for centuries. It's reactionary shits like you who don't want them to stick up for themselves because that's the way you like them.

Don't pretend that you're some force of modernity fighting against a load of prudish schoolmarms when all you want to do is send women back into the kitchen.

This isn't about being prudish or anti sex, it's about treating women with respect, no wonder you're frothing at the mouth. The sad thing is, I think you believe your own bullshit, but rest assured, nobody else does.

Do you believe in treating men with respect?

Read the original post... you are treating this young woman as a victim. I see nowhere in her posts where she suggests that she feels victimized by this young man. There are two things that are clear.

1) She is a willing participant of the sexual banter.
2) She wants more of a relationship with this young man.

Rather than trying to answer the question, she received prudish, judgmental responses about what "men have been doing to women for millennia". These gender politics have nothing to do with her question which had to do with whether this guy has real feelings for her. (go back and read the OP). She tried to defend herself from Chai's lecture about what is "respectable" for a young woman.

There is nothing wrong with consensual sexual banter between two willing participants. It is fun, and flirty and part of sexual expression. Young men and women should should be free to say 'no' and both should be empowered to express their sexuality.

This young woman is choosing how to express her sexuality on her own terms. This should be seen as a good thing. We still have the idea that "respectable" women shouldn't do this.

Don't be such a twat, forever playing the victim.

As is well known, teenagers brains are not fully developed, and they haven't had much practice in what constitutes mutual consent. That's not saying anything about their intelligence.

That's why it's so easy to sway them. They haven't quite figured out what they like/don't like, consent to/don't consent to.

No, I don't believe if she didn't like something, she just would have automatically left the scene. She is seriously wondering if a guy that says suck my dick and pushes her legs apart likes her, and she's said no to him doing that....but he continues, and she doesn't yet get it she can walk away.

It's conversations like this with adults that let her know she can walk away.

She's currently on the page of "all the kids are doing it, so it must be ok"

It's not ok, and she needs to hear people who have experience talk about respect for herself, and others, so she can figure all this out for herself.

If this was an adult woman saying this, I could see how this was a mutual thing.

This is a woman child, and is trying to figure stuff out, and is asking much more than "does he like me"

She's asking things like is this how men treat women? Is this how women treat men? What kind of person am I trying to become? And many more. She's clearly not sure if she like the way communications are going, or she wouldn't be asking albeit a veiled question. I don't think many adults, let alone a high school girl, would think to be so specific to ask the questions above, and this is her putting her toe in the water.

You notice her first response to me was putting words in my mouth about me calling her a whore (not true), and letting us know she hasn't had sex, and isn't intending to, even though her words are indicating something else.

Letting her know I expected as much as a response, but that I also knew she'd think it over later, like a smart person, let her admit that yeah, maybe I had a point.

She's got a lot of good stuff to think about.

Based on what I read in your post, he sounds like he is a horny teenager who wants to have sex with you.

Well duh!

I think it is funny that of all the words you could have used to insult me, you chose one that refers to female genitalia.

(I love it when you talk dirty to me, Izzy).

Nobody's treating her like a victim, they're trying to boost her self esteem. This isn't pillow talk, it's out in the open, and he's treating her with no respect at all.

Do teenagers talk a load of crude sexual bollocks? Of course they do, but most of us regret the crap we came out with at that age and wished somebody had put us right sooner rather than later.

Things are getting better, our kids are far less racist and homophobic than we are, and most view equality as a good thing. And most young men will regret talking to girls like that.

Sometimes someone simply have to state the obvious.

People don't use it to describe female genitalia anymore, they use it to describe people like you.

So much for ******* modernity.

I think some here are choosing to either forget how as a teen you can be so sure one day you've got it all down, and then how the ensuing responses/reactions make one realize you may have gotten in too deep, too fast.

As adults, we have various lengths of lifetime experience to draw on. We base our giving consent, or how we respond to things, based on that.

These 2 kids have extremely limited history to base important decisions on. That's why they should be comfortable approaching multiple adults, like here, who can share their own wisdom and experience.

People just don't wake up one day and know how to decide what is best, what they consent to, and what they don't consent to. It's a learning process, and at least one of the parties is learning that she doesn't know if she likes how she's being treated. Right now she's learning that she tells someone No, and they aren't paying attention, so maybe what's happening is all right? But it's not feeling right. Mostly she's basing her actions and language on "All the other kids are doing it." Many of them are feeling just as conflicted I'm sure.

I know, it just made me laugh.

I can't tell you what to do or not do.
Just remember, it's your body.
Don't allow anyone to (pressure) you into having sex.

1) Notice the use of the words "young men" and "girls" (not young women, but girls). Even if the young men are the same age as the young women, the young men are seen as responsible and young women are seen as unwilling participants at best and victims at worst.

2) There is no acknowledgment that young women have the right, or the desire, to express themselves sexually. Sex is seen as something that men do to women... not as something that women themselves enjoy.

3) There is no allowance that maybe the young women want to talk "like that" (actually they often do).

I wold like young women to be equal to young men. They have the right to experiment, to express themselves, to talk dirty, to want and initiate sex. They also have the right to say 'no' or to walk away if they want to.

In this case, young women are being pressured into refusing sex. I think that is just as unhealthy. If a young woman wants to have sex and feels that she is ready... she should go for it. There is nothing wrong with a young woman initiating sex or talking dirty, or flirting or any other type of sexual expression as long as the other people involved are willing participants.

The argument over the term "respectable" says everything.

The gender stereotype is that young men want sex... and young women are pressured into sex. This is an ancient stereotype, and one that I think we should get rid of.

You really are so incredibly anal. Young men have regrets because they're men, and what they're regretting is stuff they did before they were men. And before they were men they were chatting up girls.

You're so desperate to appear right on it's really quite pathetic. Instead of trying to microanalyse my posts what your time would be better spent figuring out why most of the women on A2K think you're a bit creepy.

I am just curious... Why do you refer to young men as "men" and to young women as "girls" when they are presumably the same age? It is an interesting question. I believe that young men and young women should be treated as equals, with equal rights and equal responsibility.

Treating young women as if they are "girls" is not a good thing in my opinion. It isn't just arguing about the word. The premise of the responses on this thread is that "girls" are unable to make decisions for themselves and are thus susceptible to the desires of "young men" and unable to know what they actually want.

My advice to this young woman is to act on what she wants. If she wants to have sex with this young man, then she should ask for it. If she wants to talk dirty, then she should do so and have fun with it. If she wants to walk away, she should walk away. If she wants him to stop, she should tell him... and then walk away or get others involved.

The assumption that "respectable girls" (rather than young women) don't want sexual relationships or enjoy talking dirty or have the the ability to know what they want is the problem here.

This is prudishness.

I don't know the conversation going on, but once again, a thread that could have been useful to one or more people is ruined due to posters inability to keep from responding to purposefully and carefully orchestrated inflammatory comments.

Izzy, please just stop reading and responding to whatever is being said by another, as you know nothing will come of it.

If this young lady comes back, now she's going to witness how 2 adults can't avoid and perpetual game of ....