I can't value things intellectually

My positive emotions are the only things that can make my life and composing dream something positive, beautiful, and worth living for. I'm going to explain why. My emotions are the only way I can value things in life which means I can't value things intellectually.

As a matter of fact, I don't recall a single given moment in my life where I valued things intellectually. My positive emotions, or what people like to call, the good feelings such as feelings of happiness, fun, love, and joy, are the only things that allow me to value things as beautiful, good, magnificent, amazing, etc.

My negative emotions, or the bad feelings such as feelings of misery, disgust, and rage, are the only things that allow me to value things as horrible, bad, disgusting, tragic, etc. So, I need my positive emotions to make my life something positive and I should avoid the negative emotions as well as apathy.

When I'm apathetic, I can't value anything in my life at all. Truly thinking that something is beautiful or horrible in my life doesn't allow me to value that thing as horrible or beautiful. That's what I mean here when I say I can't value things intellectually.

Therefore, I have to rely on my primal instincts (emotions) in order to value things. Sadly, emotions are very fleeting things which means living a beautiful life would be something fleeting for me.

Also, I don't think thoughts and emotions can be the same thing which means emotions are distinct from intellect. So, the emotional values cannot take on the form of my intellect which means intellect cannot be any real source of value in my life no matter what.