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Pressure to get married. What do I do?

 
 
Reply Tue 28 Aug, 2018 04:58 am
For someone being religious, following the commandments given is not difficult anymore. But if the commandment is all about marrying as long as you have found the one is a different story already. In our church, we have an organization called the “young single adults”. We are a group of young individuals who have been called to serve the church and its members. Of course, for a group who have been together for years, love will eventually bloom to each other.

Weeks from now, some of our group members are getting married. Our leaders are telling us to do the same. Now I’m pressured. To be honest, I have a foreign feeling to this girl who’s new to our organization. I really want to court her but she’s so new she might get terrified. What do I do?



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Type: Question • Score: 3 • Views: 1,306 • Replies: 8
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PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Tue 28 Aug, 2018 05:39 am
How old are all these people you speak of?

Are you feeling pressure to get married?

No one should marry someone they don’t know. That takes time and means spending time with that person, including dating and talking a lot.

What is your religious denomination? What do your parents think?
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Tue 28 Aug, 2018 06:48 am
@pressuremind27,
Your marriage (if you ever marry) is your life, not your leaders'. I know it can be hard to contradict an authority figure, particularly if you are under 18.

So go slowly. Date only who you want to date, because you are attracted to that person, and they are to you, and not because someone's brandishing a calendar or a Bible at you.

As for this new girl, be your nice, polite, friendly self. Will you date her? Maybe. But that's not likely to happen unless you are friends first, so make friends! And, by the way, be kind and friendly because that's the right thing to do, and not because you have a future dating agenda.

Because someone new has come into your community, my gut tells me your community isn't the only place to find people in your denomination. Perhaps you could go to college at a religious school or in the area where there are other folks who are of the same denomination as you.

The 20, 50, one thousand or however many youth there are in your youth group are not the only appropriate future marriage material for you.

There is no sin and no crime in waiting for the right person, rather than settling for someone due to outside pressures.
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ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Aug, 2018 12:11 pm
@pressuremind27,
pressuremind27 wrote:
Of course, for a group who have been together for years, love will eventually bloom to each other.


not so much

whoever tells you this is lying to you
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Tue 28 Aug, 2018 12:17 pm
@pressuremind27,
pressuremind27 wrote:
some of our group members are getting married. Our leaders are telling us to do the same.


you're supposed to be part of a group wedding ceremony

that's kind of creepy and weird
roger
 
  2  
Reply Tue 28 Aug, 2018 02:51 pm
@ehBeth,
For sure, though I might have left out 'kind of'.
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pressuremind27
 
  1  
Reply Wed 29 Aug, 2018 05:51 am
@ehBeth,
Why do you think so?
pressuremind27
 
  1  
Reply Wed 29 Aug, 2018 05:53 am
@PUNKEY,
They are early twenties. And yes I am because we are encouraged to get married soon. I know that it works that way. I just don't understand they encouraged us to marry early.
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ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Wed 29 Aug, 2018 09:26 am
@pressuremind27,
Why do I think they're lying to you?
0 Replies
 
 

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