Riddle me this

OMG!!! I never realized it, but I ask the same questions every day!!

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the
batteries are getting weak?
...it's an irrational subconscious urge to squeeze more juice out of it.
We also do it with oranges.


Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know
there is not enough?
...so what's wrong with that. They just want to make poverty profitable so
they don't have to charge themselves a fee.


Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion
stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
...there is less of credibility gap in MORE. Why is it easier to get a
loan for 4 million than for 4 thousand?


Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle it comes in?
...it needs to retain it's "virginity" until it's ready to go!


Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
...because if he croaked for the wrong reason it wouldn't be legal.


Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
...because if he did, he'd get caught in a tree and hang himself.


Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you
throw a revolver at him?
...he can see the revolver but he can't see the bullets...hmm


Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
...it's the "container" in case you get cremated. A paper bag
wouldn't do.


Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
...the guy who first had one.


If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
...leftovers are required in case man screws-up.
God, of course, knows this. I mean, would you drive without a spare?


Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles
are always white?
...no kidding!? and all this time I thought I was color blind!


Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
...they want to put us all to sleep and collect all "our precious
bodily fluids" for cloning purposes. Yup, you'd think there were
springs in them thar mattresses but they're really minature
thermos bottles!


Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes
that something new to eat will have materialized?
...desperation compels investigation and alternatives
not previously countenanced.


Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their
vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it
down to give the vacuum one more chance?
...to quote the immortal words of Forest Gump "stupid is as stupid does"


Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?
...and why after having tried the second you always go back to the first?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
...because bugs that seek enlightenment shall find it. This is deemed
irrefutable by ancient chinese philosophy.


Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling
off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
...if you weren't destined to catch it in the first place you'd be
breaking a universal or moral law by attempting it so something
has to give probably something of more value. This, in some form
is what all Greek and Shakespearean tragedy is grounded on.
Remember what happened to Adam when Eve threw him the apple?
He caught it and we've been writing tragedies ever since.


In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in
summer when we complained about the heat?
...because in winter the "heat" is air-conditioned.


How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
...because everyone knows he propably understands
the mother-in-law joke better than ones who make them
since he has to live with it...and that's no joke!

lol. nice try not too swift. However, the answers to all the quetion is simple: because we are stupid idiots

That goes without saying so why say it. There is much more proof available.

Human's didn't "evolve from apes."

The rest are funny.

...which must be a great relief to the apes!

Why some items that are poisonous if swallowed say …if accidentally swallowed seek medical attention? If some one swallows it on purpose I guess they are immune to the poisonous affects.

...
First of all, this is a great topic. Thanks for putting it in a place where it almost kinda belongs. It breaks the monotony of taking ourselves seriously.

As to the witty response from not too swift:




The rest were clever and fun, but this one was poetry. Maybe I'd slightly change the wording, but it's poetic as is.

Waldo_

...appreciate your appreciation of these "bagatelles". On re-reading, I would have revised a few and probably would have chosen a different one for "top marks" Thanks for the response!

Indeed.

These are more observations then questions that is why everyone can have a good laugh and relate to some of these questions. There is no logical explanation just human flaws in logic

I think logical flaws are what make humans so endearing.

Think about it: Dr. Spock was there to make everyone else seem illogical and therefore human. By the same token, when Spock's logic failed, it made him that much more likeable.

(ignore double post)