The Reyn thread.....

It's you I want Reyn...only you.

Prime Minister Tied to Post in Fraser Valley Theater While Movie Goers Trist Results in Illegitimate Child

March 8. 2005

The Prime Minister, (PM) during a recent trip to Fraser Valley, located just outside Vancouver, was caught in what local authorities have dubbed the A2K Affair. In an effort to prevent communications between two movie goers, he unknowingly became entangled in a web of lust and deception.

According to theater ushers, it began during the presentation of the dancing hot dog and "Visit our Popcorn Stand" clips.

"The PM overheard a couple seated in front of him speaking in what he determined to be secret code. He asked them to not talk ?'cause he couldn't hear what the hot dog was saying just before jumping into the bun. Something was said about him preventing communications between them and from there all hell broke loose." Said one of the ushers who refused to be identified.

According to the Prime Ministers security detail, their version of the event agrees with that of the usher. However, they refused to comment on how the exchange resulted in the Prime Minister being tied to a post and forced to watch the couple copulate.

"We really don't have anything to say on that issue." Said three of the security guards in unison.

Other movie goers were not bothered by the incident. A local Reviewer said, "The movie was atrocious, eh. I would give it 2 stars. But the other theater action open for review that night gets 5 stars in my opinion," He added "That's off the record, eh."

The couple in question, identified only as Reyn, a local Fraser Valley man whose family immigrated to the area from Holland, and Sarah Smorgs, who was visiting from Manchester, began their affair over the internet according to neighbors.

"Well, since I joined Neighborhood Watch last year, I've taken my duties quite seriously," said one neighbor who resides in New Mexico. "I've been accused of bein' nosey, but I consider it my civic duty. It's a small world nowa days, and what goes on in Cananda and England can quickly become acceptable in the US if we don't do something to stop it. Besides, Sarah just tends to be a floosie in my book. She asked me to bed just the other day, so I don't doubt this took place."

On Tuesday, a Canadian reporter was caught by smorgs as she rifled through the trash that had been placed at the curb in front of Sarah's home at 142 Iwantchu Street. It was unclear whether or not charges would be filed.

A check of recent Court filings does confirm that the couples plans extend beyond attending movies and public displays of affection. No one has yet confirmed that they are expecting a child by Christmas. The couple denies the charge and insists they just ate too much popcorn.

Asked about the incident at his Press Briefing yesterday, President George W. Bush took great lengths to explain his position, stating, "I'm deeply troubled by what is happening in Canada. It's, you know, it's another example of why we have to, um, you know, we have to be ever watchful for terrorist attacks on our values. We value freedom. We value marriage. To me this is just a way for them to erode those two things and I've spoken to Condaleeza Rice about this and she is postponing her visit to Canada because of this. Now, I've also spoken to the Prime Minister. He insists he wasn't involved and I believe him. I've looked into his soul and it's a good soul. He's a good looking man, by the way. Let me finish! But, I think it's time for Congress to look into writing a bill that will require that movie seats here in America be placed at arms distance to assure abstinence in our theaters. Abstinence works. If they write a bill and send it to me I'll sign it."

But thanks for last night anyway, you blew my mind, I never thought it could be so good! You certainly know how to please a woman