these are just a bunch of george carlin quotes i find HILARIOUS
from his book Napalm & Silly Putty
. i'm a huge george carlin fan... too bad i'm only 17 or else i would go see him live...
"The trouble with a sitcom is that every week it's the same irritating group of assholes"
"If the police never find it, is it still a clue?"
"THE CHRISTIANS ARE COMING TO GET YOU, AND THEY ARE NOT PLEASANT PEOPLE"
"I recently bought a book of free verse... for twelve dollars."
"When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I always wondered who got his horse."
"You know what you never hear about? A bunch of Jews being hit by a tornado."
"I think a good title for a travel book would be Doorway to Norway
"Regarding the Boy Scouts, I'm very suspicious of any organization that has a handbook."
"I tried to give up heroin, but my efforts were all in vein."
"When someone asks you what time it is, glance at your watch and say, 'It's either six-fifteen, or Mickey has a hard-on.' Guaranteed they'll ask somebody else."
"Griddle cakes, pancakes, hotcakes, flapjacks: why are there four names for grilled batter and only one word for love?" this one had me thinking
"An art thief is a man who takes pictures."
"#%@$ whole-grain cereal. When I want fiber, I'll eat some wicker furniture."
"Christian Deodorant: 'Thou Shalt Not Smell.'"
well thats all for me folks perhaps if i get a good response to this post i'll put up some more, after all, i do have an entire book of them.
oh and by the way congrats to me for this being my 3rd post.