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to ensure that my child speech is worth listening

 
 
Reply Sun 25 Mar, 2018 08:45 am
Im not an English language expert. But i wanna make sure that my child speech would be worth listening to. Would you mind editing/revising the speech below?
Distinguished guests speaker, _________________, Our honorable Principal I, __________; Principal II, ____________; our very own dynamic SPED Principal l ______, dedicated teachers, beloved parents, fellow graduates, a wonderful morning to all!
Thank you everyone for joining us, graduating students, today in this milestone of our six-year elementary journey – our graduation ceremony. It seemed just like yesterday SPEDIANS when we were just little boys and girls queuing to be interviewed and to take the exam for SPED admission with our parents tagging us along. There were more than 80 hopefuls that time and we were only 35 who got lucky to be admitted. Then, every year, we need to work hard to meet the SPED academic requirements so that we would not be kicked out. And now we have overcome all obstacles and trial. My fellow graduates, we are finally here! Yes, we made it! We are the indomitable graduating class of 2018! Join me in giving ourselves a round of applause.
It’s an honor and privilege to share to you my thoughts and aspirations as we are about to close this chapter of our educational journey.
Let me begin with the words of Marcus Garvey, “If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life.” “With confidence, you have won before you started.” I will tell you how our confidence will help us in achieving our dreams. I won’t be here now if I had not learned confidence in school. Michelle Obama once said, “Through my education, I didn't just develop skills, I didn't just develop the ability to learn, but I developed confidence.”
Guys, honestly, I was shy - painfully shy when I was a little boy. When people asked what was my name, I could hardly open my mouth and if ever I could muster a courage to say my name, it was inaudible. I could not meet their gaze, my eyes were either looking downward or upward while I rolled my hands to lessen the awkward, uncomfortable feeling. And because people could not barely hear my response, they would asked my name again and the more I would feel awkward, even broke down and cry. Coming from both shy parents, it came not a surprise. It’s in the genes!
But thanks to my unsung heroes - my teachers, who gave their best to bring out the best in me. Teacher Amie and Teacher Maribel, my teachers in pre-school, who made me feel that schooling was fun, that school was a second home and that there was nothing to be afraid of. They were like ate to me that when I felt lazy writing, they would sit me in their laps and guide my hands. They would always encourage me to do my best. So, when I graduated in pre-school I thought I had all the confidence in the world.
But entering grade 1 in SPED was a different scenario. The class was bigger and everyone seemed competitive and seemed unfriendly at first. Do you remember when Teacher Marcia asked us who wanted to be the no. 1 in class, we all raised our hands. My goodness, everyone! Then, the next day came election for class officers, I voluntarily nominated myself for class president but you did not vote for me but for Danica. Nobody voted for me but myself, then came the election for vice president. Again, nobody voted for me but myself. You voted for Vea. Then, election for secretary..then auditor… and so on but still nobody voted for me but myself. You know what, I went home that day with drooping shoulders. And my confidence went down! Thanks to Teacher Marcia who made me feel at ease. She encouraged me. She gave me small responsibilities which begot little achievements, which in turn bred confidence. I remember I would ran towards home to tell my family every time I would hear a compliment from her. And so with my other class advisers: Teacher Maya, Teacher Letty, Teacher Teresita Ocay and Teacher Junril. They not only impart to me valuable learnings but also helped me grow in confidence. Special thanks to Teacher Chelo who helped me to write, even though I found my writing stupid at first, but she never gave up on me. Being able to participate in the national competition in Dumaguete City, together with Ed, Fratzie and Selina, has given me unforgettable memories. #My ‘best trip ever’.
Teachers you never know how much you have helped me blossom into what I am today. Had it not for your praises and encouragements and guidance, I would not have achieved what I have achieved today and have had contented myself being a silent protagonist in the world of learning. When praises come from our family, well, it somehow lifts our spirit but it can be expected because they are our family who love and value us, but when praises and encouragement come from the teachers, the impact is so huge that it transcends into our subconscious. Nakakataba ng puso, nakakainspire. In behalf of all SPEDIANS, our heartfelt gratitude. Isang bagsak para sa mga advisers ng SPED!
Allow me to take this opportunity to thank all parents for their unwavering and unconditional love and support. I am pretty sure that they are more proud than any of us here for having a son or daughter graduating from our beloved Alma Mater, the _____________. We would not be here now without their efforts and sacrifices. And I hope they will be even more proud with the academic awards we receive today. Guys, join me in thanking our parents by turning to them and say thank you with a flying kiss.
Please bear with me as I wanna say thank you to my classmates and friends who made my stay in SPED memorable and fun. Your friendship, especially my bffs Clint, Gino and Zoeshua made me excited to go to school even at times when I felt lazy. I would also to thank Fratzie for considering me not as a competitor but a friend as he would always update me with lessons and assignments whenever I had academic contest. We may bid adieu after this momentous event, but the friendship and memories we have shared together since Grade 1 will always linger in my heart.
As I have said, confidence is our potent tool towards achieving our dreams and aspirations. Confidence is the belief in our ability to succeed, a belief that stimulates us into action for our benefit. A person with sheer, unashamed confidence has gained great advantage over the others. Many brilliant minds’ lives are wasted just because they are shy, just because they lack self-confidence. Donny Osmond said, You have to believe in yourself, otherwise you can't do it. If you don't believe in yourself, how do expect anyone else to? Because ultimately, you're the one who has to do it. Let me repeat what Marcus Garvey said, “If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life.” “With confidence, you have won before you started.” And confidence is our gateway to a joyful and blissful life. It is true and is backed up by scientific studies!
In every contest, specially in math challenge, it is very crucial that you and your team mate have confidence in yourselves otherwise, you will get nervous, you hesitate and even impair your ability to analyze the questions. The same holds true in real life. It will impair your ability to perceive things in the real perspective. Bulilyaso ang kalalabasan. Mas lamang ka if you have the confidence. That confidence has given me and Franz a great advantage over our opponents. Talo kami palagi! Joke lang. But of course, our prayers was also our potent force. From the words of Sarah Ban Breathnach “Take a leap of faith and begin this wondrous new year by believing. Believe in yourself. And believe that there is a loving Source - a Sower of Dreams - just waiting to be asked to help you make your dreams come true.”
We have undergone challenges in the last six years, some even unbearable that we almost gave up. But we survive! And as we enter into junior high, into college, the more challenges will come our way. Not all the time that we are prepared for these challenges, but if we have the confidence coupled with our strong faith in GOD, then anything is possible. And if we can make it through the SPED academic rigors, then, we are ready for anything. SPEDIANS yata to. Say it with me, Ajah! We can do it!
Thank you all, good luck and congratulations.

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Type: Question • Score: 0 • Views: 626 • Replies: 8
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centrox
 
  1  
Reply Sun 25 Mar, 2018 09:03 am
This is your child's speech? Did your child write it? It seems a bit long, If each child gives a similar length speech, won't everyone be asleep by the end?
nickenclau
 
  1  
Reply Sun 25 Mar, 2018 09:18 am
@centrox,
Yeah I agree a bit too long. Would you mind revising it without losing the important points..
nickenclau
 
  1  
Reply Sun 25 Mar, 2018 09:26 am
@nickenclau,
Anybody expert in English here? Please help me...
0 Replies
 
centrox
 
  2  
Reply Sun 25 Mar, 2018 09:39 am
@nickenclau,
nickenclau wrote:
Yeah I agree a bit too long.

You could consider shortening it, and reducing the number of quotes of other people's remarks. The English is OK.


0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Sun 25 Mar, 2018 10:54 am
Is this a speech you wrote for your child to present? This is confusing.

Don’t use “Guys” as an introduction to a sentence.
nickenclau
 
  1  
Reply Sun 25 Mar, 2018 04:02 pm
@PUNKEY,
what do you mean by confusing? thanks for the advice. i will omit 'guys'
nickenclau
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Mar, 2018 12:12 am
@nickenclau,
i mean y confusing? any tips?
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Mon 26 Mar, 2018 06:14 am
How old is your “ child”?

This sounds like an adult speech.

I would not name the people who got chosen ahead of the speaker. That’s embarassing for them.
0 Replies
 
 

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