Why do people get mad when I look up to them?

No one is "hating" on you.

You say you don't know yourself without others input. Well, people you associate with are giving you the input that you're nothing like the person that others seem to like.

How am I nothing like her? People who currently don’t like me used to like me. Then they spontaneously walk out on me. That doesn’t make me any different from how I used to be. They’re the ones who changed. A great example is my supervisor at fast food.

Do you have a phychological counselor besides your job developer?

You really need to get professional help that we can't supply here.

I need sympathy. Actually, I need empathy more. People who gives a rats ass. I need stable relationships and for people to never walk out on me again. I need positive reactions from people I look up to, not negative. I need real friends, not fair weather friends.

If anyone ever experienced severe rejection, they'll understand. Anyone who experience rejection this severe would go crazy. My counselor totally understands this part.

1. Are you telling your counselor everything?
2. Are you holding back any information when you are talking to your counselor?

You need therapy, which we can't provide.

I think the counselor is for your job search?

You need an actual therapist.

I’m seeing a therapist.

People who give a rat's ass are trying to tell you to get help, and also to change how you're behaving. We can't help it if that's not what you want to hear.

Want stable relationships? Then don't push people away. This is a balance. You are all or nothing. Obsessed or ignoring someone, there is no in-between with you. If you truly want stable relationships then you are going to have to strike a balance. Work with your therapist on how to do this.

You say you need positive reactions. No, not really. You need truthful reactions. If you just want someone to yes you to death then you're not looking for friendships, you're looking for toadies.

Severe rejection? This isn't your great love of your life telling you to **** off for no reason. These people had plenty of reasons to tell you to leave them alone - and you've created every single one of those reasons. And you say you're not a lesbian but you really don't get to have it both ways. Are you obsessed because this is romantic/sexual love? Then at least be honest with yourself and own up to that. And if it's not, then this is not the horrible rejection you seem to think it was. Nobody jilted you at the altar.

And I'm glad you like your counselor. I hope you'll listen to him or her. And I hope you'll also understand that your counselor's job is to understand, and to help you. They get paid to do so. And when your session with them is over, they don't invite you to hang around. No. They go onto the next patient or they go to lunch or they go home for the day.

I don’t look up to my counselor. I only ever looked up to very few people. Prolly like 5 or 6 lol. And by positive reaction, I mean the same positive reaction other people receive when they look up to someone. I’m not looking to be yessed all the time. And I’m not a dyke. Another girl my supervisor worked with doesn’t get called a dyke, even when she said how amazing this supervisor is and that she loved and missed her. I never even used the word love and I get called a dyke. I only want what everyone else has, nothing more.

I would suggest you show this entire thread to your therapist and ask him/her for their take on all of it.

1. Do you admire any famous people in the world that you have never met?
2. What about famous actors, famous athletes, famous politicians, famous television personalities, or anyone else who may come to mind?
3. Are there any historical people that you admire?

I personally admire Martin Luther King Jr.
I never met him since I was born in the 1960s.
Just like so many others, I learn about Martin Luther King Jr in my history class.

You can admire someone from a far. You can admire someone and never meet that person. You can admire someone without hanging out with that person.

Yes I have but in an entirely different way. I admire pop stars but I never get to know them on a deeper level, having never met them, and that's ok. Did you ever admire people in your personal life? That's a whole lot less detached.

Another girl just a few years younger than me worked with my supervisor at another fast food joint. She also looked up to her. On her Facebook post, she tagged my supervisor and basically said about the positive influence that boss had on her. Then she went on to say how it isn’t easy working at fast food especially as a general manager but my supervisor did it for so long. She rightfully stated it’s a lot of stress dealing with angry customers and teenage employees and whatever else that comes with that job.

She ended with saying how wonderful that supervisor was and that she love that supervisor and that she’s privileged to know her. My supervisor reacted VERY positively to that post just like she always reacted positively to that young girl in real life.

That girl said she loved that boss but no one accused her of being gay. I never even used that word (love) and everyone STILL accused me of hitting on my supervisor. My job developer’s supervisor sure as hell questioned my sexual orientation. For the millionth time, I’m STRAIGHT!

What does your therapist say about your opinions?

You appear to be sending out signals that is causing other people to question your sexual orientation. You appear to be sending out signals causing other people to think that you are hitting on your supervisor.

1. Do you have a boyfriend?
2. Are you interested in males?
3. Are you interested in females?
4. Are you interested in both males and females?

You may think you are 'looking up to people' or 'admiring' them, but you are suffocating these people. I get anxious just reading all this desperate and demanding neediness. I have been a manager and dealt with hundreds of people over the years. Most people respect your personal space and I've tried to respect everyone else's personal space. In one of your earlier posts you mentioned that this woman told you not to come in on your days off, and you stated you argued with her. Why did you argue with her? It was because you decided you are entitled to spend as much time around her regardless of how she feels, and that is SOOO FREEAKING disrespectful. I can tell you if one of my employees came in on their day off to hang around with me or any of the other employees I would have sent them home. If they argued with me, I would have called security and had them escorted out. Your supervisor was being paid to do a job, and frankly, you put her job at risk by being such a selfish demanding needy clingy problem child. What you call 'admire' or 'looking up to' is actually a demand for her sole attention because you are fascinated and obsessed with someone and you have not bothered to think about how uncomfortable you make her feel.

I can tell you that you creep me out, you just refuse to or are incapable of understanding what you are doing to others. You are shockingly devoid of empathy and it sticks out of you like quills on a porcupine.

I'm only interested in males in a romantic way, not females. I've even had boyfriends.

This woman accused me of obsessing over her and she only told me so bc I asked. Otherwise, she woulda stewed silently over it, just like she had during the last few months of my employment there. I argued with my supervisor bc she didn't say it very nicely.

It was her boss (the district manager) who told me not to come in on my days off (nicely) and I didn't argue.

Today in a business class, the prof talked about management styles and power sources of managers. She talked about relationship focused vs task focused. Relationship focused hit waaayy too close to home. And one of the power sources she mentioned was referent power, which is people doing what the leader says because they like the leader (boss) and have positive relationship with him/her.

When she asked who in our lives demonstrate referent power, everyone commented but I was silent. I had lots of people demonstrate referent power in my life. I looked up to them all and wanted to be like them. They ALL eventually stopped liking me and walked out on me.

Remember when that girl posted that my supervisor had positive influence on her? That partly comes from my supervisor appreciating that she looked up to her. My supervisor coulda had the same positive influence on me if she appreciated that I looked up to her as well. In fact, she woulda had an even more positive influence on me than on that other girl bc I'm the one other people had previously walked out on.

That person I worked for coulda actually made a difference. By the time I met that supervisor, I already had major trust issues. I took a long time to trust her and she chose to behave just like everyone else I've ever looked up to. She went from a good person who gave a rats ass to a horrible one that don't.

When I was younger, I wanted to make a positive difference in other people's lives. I wouda learned how by now if all my previous role models stuck around and not become hateful. I chose to seclude myself bc I don't want to inadvertently hurt other people like my role models hurt me. I am nothing. I am nobody.

You have posted that you are seeing a (therapist).

1. Are you telling your (therapist) all of the same things you are telling us here on A2K?
2. If yes, is his/her advice any different from the advice you've gotten from us here on A2K?
3. If no, is there any reason you are not telling your therapist the same information that you are telling us?

You have to be able to make distinctions between what constitutes being a trusted person versus being a negative employee. Several times, other employees have said to you to go home and you've ignored that advice. They were seeing how your behavior affected not only the supervisor but the entire work place. When you chose to ignore that advice, you became untrustworthy and that placed you in a negative light.

You waited until the situation escalated from your co-workers, to your immediate supervisor to finally, the regional supervisor. Then you scorn them all as if THEY are the ones not following the rules.

If you would have acted sooner about not coming in on your days off, keeping a professional space between you and your supervisor and had curtesy for your fellow co-workers, you would have seen a different outcome.

You keep making the same mistakes expecting a different outcome. It just doesn't work that way.

You talk about Trust, and you use it in a way that constitutes a family environment instead of an employment contract. Your supervisor does not owe you Trust. They tell you what to do for eight hours and that's it. You go home. The only trust involved is you show up for your shift. The trust you get in return is a pay check. That's the contract, not a family get together.

You can still make a positive influence with the people around you. It starts by listening to them and adhering to that. That's what people are going to appreciate, not you coming in on your days off.

It seems like you have limited yourself to doing what YOU want to do, not what is expected from an employee. That outlook needs to change.