Why do people get mad when I look up to them?

@darkangel1720,

darkangel1720 wrote:

1. After I met with him, I immediately returned to my workplace just bc my supervisor was still working.

2. An hour later, my supervisor said to go home, which I did but only AFTER I walked her to her car as she was also leaving. As I was walking her to her car, I asked her if she work Wednesday, the day I was scheduled.

3.Her: yes
Me: good. I was worried.
Her: why?!
Me: cuz I wanna work with you.

Was that wrong?

was it wrong?

1. yes
2. yes
3. yes

0 Replies

@ehBeth,

Yes I have a job developer who told me I displayed stalking behavior. They actually called her instead of me when they were letting me go. I’m not even allowed to go back in that location as a customer. And I’m not rehirable at any store in that fast food chain.

I’m also officially prohibited from any form of contact with my former supervisor. Other people who were no longer with the company does not have any of these restrictions. Even those who were fired don’t have those restrictions on them.

I’m just so mad because my supervisor is still nice to everyone else. She used to be general manager at another fast food joint before working at her current one. A girl she used to work with there also looked up to her. Over a year After that supervisor quit, she still has Facebook contact with that girl. That girl posted some nice, admiring stuff about supervisor, who reacted positively, just like she always had with that girl.

She also had other people look up to her and she reacted positively to them as well. And 3 of the crew members who currently work for her used to work for her at her previous job. Just wondering if my former supervisor ever change company if she would hire me given that the new company don’t have my record. I mean, she can’t hate me THAT much, right?

3 Replies

@darkangel1720,

darkangel1720 wrote:

I mean, she can’t hate me THAT much, right?

Wrong.

0 Replies

@darkangel1720,

darkangel1720 wrote:

Yes I have a job developer who told me I displayed stalking behavior.

I mean, she can’t hate me THAT much, right?

She doesn't hate you - she is now afraid of you.

Spend more time talking to your job developer. You need more help learning how to behave in work settings.

Do NOT contact your former supervisor in any way at any time.

Ask the job developer for help with how to deal appropriately with people you look up to/ respect.

0 Replies

@chai2,

chai2 wrote:

darkangel1720 wrote:

Stalking is a very serious word. So is creepy. And obsessed. People had described me with all 3 words.

So what does this tell you?

I meant this as a serious question dark angel.

What does this tell you?

Your answer needs to address only what you said above, and shouldn’t include anything about your former supervisor. Are you able to manage that?

What say you?

1 Reply

@darkangel1720,

darkangel1720 wrote:

I’m also officially prohibited from any form of contact with my former supervisor.

Just wondering if my former supervisor ever change company if she would hire me given that the new company don’t have my record. I mean, she can’t hate me THAT much, right?

do not contact her

don't follow her on social media

work with your job developer

0 Replies

@chai2,

It tells me that I'm a stalker in other people's eyes. That wasn't my intention though. My only intention was to show people I look up to them.

1 Reply

@darkangel1720,

darkangel1720 wrote:

It tells me that I'm a stalker in other people's eyes. That wasn't my intention though. My only intention was to show people I look up to them.

You are confusing intention with reality.

There’s an common expression about the road to hell and it being paved with good intentions.

Can you tell us what the results in reality are to your good intentions?

1 Reply

@chai2,

She never wants to see me again. That's the result. And there are other people who hates me for the very reason.

2 Replies

@darkangel1720,

Have you learned anything about how to behave differently in the future?

___

It's not hate - you are scaring people.

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

Yeah. I'm getting past the age of looking up to anyone anyhow. And even if I'm not, looking up to people is becoming a scary thing.

1 Reply

@darkangel1720,

darkangel1720 wrote:

She never wants to see me again. That's the result. And there are other people who hates me for the very reason.

That's not exactly what I asked. I asked what the results were in reality.

It is your opinion/perspective people hate you.
Has this former supervisor said the words to you "I never want to see you again"?
Albeit I'm sure she wouldn't mind never having any sort of contact with you in the future.

You stated that other people have, in reality, vocalized descriptions of you as creepy, stalking and obsessesed.

This led you to the belief they hate you.

You hold the belief you have good intentions. In reality this has resutled in people terminating you from your job, and other actions.

Your actions are reality. Their responses are reality.

Does it make sense to hold the belief you have good intensions, when it results in a negative reality?

If you hold the belief that slamming your head against a concrete wall is good for you, and the reality is you bleed and get a concussion, what does that say about your belief?

1 Reply

@darkangel1720,

darkangel1720 wrote:

Yeah. I'm getting past the age of looking up to anyone anyhow. And even if I'm not, looking up to people is becoming a scary thing.

Look, clearly you have some issues with stalkerish behaviour.

Stop thinking about how this affected you and think about how it affected the people you hurt. Think about how scared they will have felt. How uncomfortable. How they wouldn't know how to act around you. How they don't know if you're suddenly going to become even more dangerous.

If you want help then ask for help but don't deny that clearly you have disturbing behavioural patterns that amount to harassment. You need to deal with that.

The fact you feel anger towards people who were clearly scared of you speaks volumes about your self-centred attitude.

It's quite disgusting actually. You have no damn right to feel that way about people you clearly hurt with your creepy behaviour.

1 Reply

@TheSubliminalKid,

I curious what darkangels definition of "looking up to" means.

S/he continutally uses it, as if he has no access to a better, or even alternate
term.

3 Replies

@chai2,

1 Reply

@chai2,

I really hope their job developer can help them with the problem. It can't be fun to misread, and be misread by, others like this.

0 Replies

@chai2,

switching gears....

Looking for that Whitney song, I came across this one, remembering how much I love it.

0 Replies

@chai2,

Quote:

I curious what darkangels definition of "looking up to" means.

S/he continutally uses it, as if he has no access to a better, or even alternate
term.

I notice darkangel excessively using the term "looking up to."
I'm also curious to what darkangel's definition of "looking up to" means.

1 Reply

@Real Music,

THat Whitney HOuston music video posted above. That's exactly what I mean. I know the lyrics to the entire song but the part that spoke to me

Everybody's searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone to fulfill me need
A lonely place to be
so I learned to depend on me.

Only, it's not really in the cards for me. It's in the cards for other people, such as this girl:

A former coworker recently graduated high school. When she was in school, she really looked up to one of her teachers. That particular teacher is friends with all her students on Facebook bc she's cool like that and her school didn't have policy against that. So on Facebook, that teacher posted on my coworker's timeline saying she missed her in class. My coworker replied "You're still my favorite teacher, I promise. I'm taking your class next year." Several months later, her teacher wished my coworker a happy birthday. My coworker replied, "Thanks! I love you and I miss you."

And my nephew:

I have a 4 year old nephew who is loving and nice to everyone. He was with his parents at a bank once and grabbed 2 suckers. When his parents admonished him that he should only take one, my nephew explained he wants to give the other one to his preschool teacher. When he did that, the teacher was happy that he liked her so much.

Would that be equivalent to me buying my fast food supervisor Mountain Dews? And that Sour Patch Kids? And Goldfish? Because that's what the HELL I did multiple times, just like my nephew did the same thing a few times.

2 Replies

@chai2,

Quote:

Has this former supervisor said the words to you "I never want to see you again"?

No she hadn't said it outright, but she purposely avoids me. Like banning me from the store permanently. At first, it was initially just banning me for the first 90 days. Once I was allowed in there again as a customer, she only said hi to me and took my order, but gave no indication that she ever knew me. She treated me like just a normal customer/stranger.

She never asked me how I was doing and never said it was good to see me. Yet, another coworker who left the company returned there 6 months later as a customer. My supervisor was soooo happy to see her and asked her how she's doing. Since it wasn't busy, they even spent a ton of time catching up with each other. My supervisor didn't do the same for me. It was like she didn't even care.

So I tried reapplying for that job a month after that incident. Not only was I turned down when I tried to follow up. She banned me from that store forever. If that's not a sign of never wanting to see me again, idk what is.

Oh and another thing. As they were canning me a few months ago, they told me I am never contact her in any way, including social media.

0 Replies

Why do people get mad when I look up to them?

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