Why do people get mad when I look up to them?

1) You're not someone saying something nice on social media. You were in the supervisor's face, all the time. That's not being nice. It can be extremely intimidating or just plain annoying.
2) You're not 4 years old. What your nephew, a small child, does, is appropriate for his age. He also, possibly, takes a lot of naps, finger paints, and doesn't know long division.

You're not like any of that anymore, and that includes how he, a preschooler, socializes.

I strongly suggest that you get over this unhealthy obsession you have with this supervisor. Your obsession is unhealthy and needs to stop. Learn from your mistakes. What's done is done. Why don't you just move on and put all of this behind you?

I get what you're trying to say. It's unfair that other people do the exact same things you do and they're liked but you're not. You're right, it's not fair. But fairness is not guaranteed anywhere. Not in the Constitution, the Bible or even real life, does fairness actually come into play.

You took some lumps in the School of Hard Knocks. Analyzing how you got where you are is a good thing. Not learning from those mistakes is not.

You don't have to buy people's affection or be constantly in their face for them to like you. People are going to like you because you're smart, witty, funny and genuinely care about them. You don't buy your supervisor trinkets to show your appreciation, you show how their time and knowledge has allowed you to grow as an individual. You do that by buckling down on what they say and follow through with their suggestions.

Ok, so you got fired from a fast food restaurant. You got fired because you wouldn't listen. It's time to move up and on. Learn from this, learn how to interact with supervisors, coworkers and the general public in a way that lets your personality shine. That may require some additional time with your job coach and some counseling on how to be yourself without being overbearing.

The worst part is that my supervisor said that I didn’t do the exact same thing and that there’s no comparison. She said she had lots of people look up to her but she had nobody like me.

Absolutely. Yes! In her face, excessive, overwhelming, stalkerish, scary, distracting, annoying, unwanted.


Absolutely. Yes!


Your self discipline was insufficient; you should have gone in on your days off ZERO times each week, month or year.


She was probably scared you were going to hurt her or do something scary and weird.

Yes to both. Both acts were putting you in your supervisor's face.

You want to know how many times you should have gone there on your days off just to see her?

Zero.

You want to know how many times you should have stayed after your shift ended because she was still working?

Zero.

If you are asked to stay (say, to lock up), that's a different story. But that's not what's at play here. You were hanging around at work when you were done and should have gone home or elsewhere.

As they say in the bartending biz, you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.

Yes, people go to fast food places to hang out. There must be several other such places in your town. Go and hang out at one of them.

I posted simultaneously with Jespah.

I started at my current job in 2012. If my supervisor here hadn’t asked me to quit in 2015, I woulda been here 6 years. Instead, it’s 5. My supervisor asked me to quit for the same reason my fast food job canned me. I had been into her too much. Luckily, I didn’t have a car back then so I couldn’t go in on my days off whenever I wanted. And when my shift ended, she made me leave so staying was impossible.

A year after I quit, I reapplied with the same company and my supervisor initially didn’t want me, so I ended up at another division within the company. That division then closed so I ended up back with my original supervisor, who I no longer obsessed over. So now, there’s no problem at work.

I wish I could similarly have no problems anywhere else either.

It sounds like you have learned from your prior mistakes and moved on. Am I correct on my assertion?

that is up to YOU

YOU need to learn to behave appropriately

work with your job developer

Yes at least with regards to this job

Unlike you, the other workers leave after their shift.

Unlike you, the other workers don't come in on their days off just to see the supervisor.

Those two statements above is what you stated your supervisor said to you.

You stated that you are jealous of the other workers. You complain that you are treated different and more negative than the other workers. The plain and simple truth is that your behavior is different from the other workers. If you say that your behavior is the same as the other workers, you are lying to yourself.



1. Why don't you leave after your shift ends, like the other workers do?

2. Why don't you do the same as the other workers and not come to work on your off days just to see your supervisor?

I thought about these 2 questions the past few days and finally I know why I behaved like I did. It's because I didn't know any better. She seemed friendly when I came in on my days off so I thought I wasn't doing anything wrong. She was really enduring it during the last several months and was prolly resenting that I was doing that. Yet, I didn't even know she was bearing it and I actually thought she liked it.

If she woulda told me earlier that she didn't really like it, I woulda stopped a lot sooner. I remember one instance when I came in yet again on my day off. My coworker told me to leave because I'm bothering my supervisor. I ignored her and said I need to be here. The next day, I complained to my supervisor what that coworker said. My supervisor actually said I'm not bothering her and that they just don't want me to linger because it looks like I want to say something to her every time.

I did actually wanna say something to her every time. When I talk to her about random stuff, it took just a few minutes. However, I would also usually wait beforehand until she has the time to talk to me which would take at least another few minutes. That was once or twice a week on my days off. If I were bothering her, why didn't she tell me before? Why did she have to wait until she got angry and could no longer endure it?

Because she was trying to be polite and because the vast, vast majority of people would have figured it out.

Zero times. Zero. That's how many times you should go and hang out and shoot the **** with your supervisor while she's working.

Leave when your shift is over. It doesn't matter where you go. But only go to work during your shift.

Full stop. There are no exceptions to this and there are no arguments to it.

(posting after jes for the visual)

Hurt. The hurt she put me through is starting to affect me physically. When I'm around other people, my chest tightens and my throat constricts and I literally find it hard to talk. However, when I'm by myself, I could talk normal. I'd spend at least a half an hour bitching about unfairness and how other people are treated better than me.

A coworker who also looked up to my supervisor (the same one who looks up to high school teacher) has it all good. She and I are exactly alike. We're both intelligent as hell, nice to everyone, and pleasant to be around. She's prolly a little more introverted than me but so are most people LOL. I'm definitely fun to be around and I make people laugh. And we were both really pretty.

However, the similarities ends there. Whenever she goes through hard times, her friends rally around her and helps her. When I go through hard times, my friends walk out on me. She makes real friends and I only ever made fair weather friends. It sucks because I made friends left and right and then they ALL drop me eventually. Example: a girl at school gave me a hard time and that counts as hardship. Consequently, my friends dropped me because she hurt me.

Everyone my coworker looks up to actually appreciates that she looks up to them. That includes my supervisor at fast food joint. Everyone I've ever looked up to got mad that I looked up to them and eventually walked out on me. That includes my supervisor at the fast food joint.

People accuse me of being a dyke for looking up to these people. Nobody accused her of being a dyke when she looked up to others. Now I struggle with trust issues. I act out and push people away before they have a chance to walk out on me. Me pushing them away is less painful than being walked out on because at least I have some control. Hell, they're gonna walk out on me anyway even when I do everything right. Whenever an acquaintance wanna be friends, I cut them off completely.

I'm tired of being almost exactly like this coworker but getting treated much worse. And this is just ONE person who admires other people. There are shitload more who can safely look up to people. And I can't.

Work with your job developer. Tell them what you wrote here. I think you're going to learn that you're not as similar to these other people as you think you are.

Just because you say that she and you are exactly alike, doesn't necessarily make it true That is your opinion. The other coworkers may not agree with your opinion.

Once again, just because that is your opinion doesn't necessarily make it true. The other coworkers may not agree with your opinion.

I wonder if the other coworkers feel that you are fun to be around, or if that is just your opinion.

Other people had said those things about me. I don’t know myself at all without other people’s input. Please stop hating on me