Poems that will get you laid

Well, SCoates, I can't let you get away with that. I just happen to know the one dirty limerick that's guaranteed to end any further discussion of dirty limericks. Goes like this:

There was a lovely young miss
Who went to take a swim.
Two boys in a punt
Shoven an oar in her eye
So now she has to wear glasses.

Ha! See if you can top that one!

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How about these lyrics?

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/tenaciousd/kielbasa.html

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Hehe...Tenacious D is a riot. I prefer "F*ck her gently" actually. Have you heard that one?

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here is a little Roma (gypsy) Christmas poem for you. I memorized it from a Roma weekly that we get back at home. It should be a hit when the season comes:

Adadives Karačoňa / Christmas is coming
Pekas avri rikoňora / we're baking a little dog
La rikoňa, la mačkica / a doggie and a kitty,
Pekas avre pre tepica / we're frying them on a pan.

<Bows ever so slightly>.

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That was the most beautiful poetry I have ever read, dag.

Thank you.

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i knew somebody would appreciate it on this fine forum.

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Oh, I like that too, Dag. That is fantastic!

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yes yes, worked on me every single time.

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Just say it with a French accent and you could be reading the back of a cereal box.

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If you ever come back to New York, I want you to recite that poem to me. I'll be putty in your hands, baby.

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with a french accent? i can do it in authentic gypsy accent, too.

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Kicky

E E Cummings is tried & true for this purpose! Romantic? Sexy? You betcha. Laughing

For example:

i like my body when it is with your
body. It is so quite new a thing ... (etc)

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kickycan wrote:

If you ever come back to New York, I want you to recite that poem to me. I'll be putty in your hands, baby.

They make these little blue pills for that problem...

"Baby you so fine, you know who yo' man is?

It's me, that's who.

Your booty look so good, I wanna jerk off on your shoe."

(and I really hope you would never recite a poem to a woman at a bar).

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Kicky - f her gently is a good song too, but I think for your purposes, keilbasa will work better.

Dag - that is one stunning piece of poetry!

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I played a little tenacious d for Francesca, she didn't get it. I played tribute and then as the rant before f her gently was about to start, I went toskip to wonderboy. She wanted to listen to f her gently.... she was a little shocked. I tried to explain that it was supposed to be funny - just made it worse.

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Kicky, learn to play the guitar well, and sing any romantic song in Italian...women love to be serenaded Cool

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ooooh, good point. You can say anything in italian and women will often swoon.

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I can already play the guitar, colorbook. I used to play at open mic nights for fun when I first moved to New York. My old roommate and I used to get trashed and come home, write songs and sing as loud as possible. Ha! What a blast.

Littlek, how old is this Francesca? Isn't that one of the kids for whom you are a nanny? Shocked

You know, I really only know a few Tenacious D songs. Tribute is my favorite though. I saw them do that on the show. Did you used to watch that? Pretty funny.

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I think the italian singing idea is good. I don't even need a guitar for that either. Actually, I think bursting into spontaneous italian singing in a bar might be a great idea. I'm going to do that!

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msolga wrote:

Kicky

E E Cummings is tried & true for this purpose! Romantic? Sexy? You betcha.

For example:

i like my body when it is with your
body. It is so quite new a thing ... (etc)

That's sorta sexy. Got any more of that?

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Poems that will get you laid

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