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Wed 19 Jan, 2005 11:22 am
Coffee (n.); a person who is coughed upon.
Flabbergasted (adj.); appalled over how much weight you have gained.
Abdicate (v.); to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Esplanade (v.); to attempt an explanation while drunk.
Willy-nilly (adj.); impotent.
Negligent (adj.); describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
Lymph (v.); to walk with a lisp.
Gargoyle (n.); an olive-flavored mouthwash.
Flatulence (n.); the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
Balderdash (n.); a rapidly receding hairline.
Testicle (n.); a humorous question on an exam.
Rectitude (n.); the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
Oyster (n.); a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
Pokemon (n); A Jamaican proctologist.
Frisbeetarianism (n.); The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
Circumvent (n.); the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
and more ...
Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
the Bozone...... oh !!!
I almost lost my coffee on that one.
i sent it to mr wolf and he wrote back saying " thanks for making me look insane laughing at my computer by myself..."
I hadn't seen the first list, but the second one's been around for awhile. "Sarchasm" always gets me...I love that one.
Reintarnation (n.): Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Soremelier (n.) -- a whine steward
"human roadblock"
A person you meet ever so frequently in daily life, whose chief objective seems to be stopping you from realizing yours. (See also "bureaucrat".)
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