I'm so excited. Lookey what my mom bought for me

What's the occasion?

i'm guessing halloween.

Jo - It's beatiful! Can hardly wait to see you in it.

Now, Jo, this is another mother talking so listen up. I don't know your Mom, bit it is very likely that it's not the money. It probably has nothing to do with her paying for the dress. It's most likely that she is a) making sure her daughter gets the wedding of her dreams, b) Her feeling that this is the last "input" she'll have for decisions you make, c) She associated spending more for the dress with showing how much she loves you.

So, please, give her a call. Let her know you love her and appreciate her help and understand that this is a big moment for both of you. Reassure her that you cherish her. This is a big moment for Mom, too. Not sure I'll hold up when the time comes, so just in case... Anyone still here can give the same advice to my daughter!

Pretty!

sozlet's enchanted. she's been hogging the computer to look at it verrrry carefully.

Very similar to mine, as designed anyway (I designed + sewed my dress), only had time for a bit of embroidery on the bodice + didn't have any on the hem. Plus I had straps.

god ms. wedding girl is hogging again -- i gotta get someone to make her a flower girl....

Wait a minute! If I read between the lines correctly, Joahaeyo is planning on getting married.

Not much gets by me.

squinney, you're making me feel guilty for our fight.
your words are quite wise and true. i mean i left totally appreciating her because this was NOT the $$ we wanted to spend (again, we spent a tad over double our budget), but she was just full of insults.

"ugh, if you just worked out harder."
"ugh, if you had a smaller chest then maybe it would actually look good"
"you're such a tomboy. pick up the back of the train when you walk around."

And then regarding the dress "I" wanted:

"that makes you look cheap."

*head hurts*

It's not like I go around telling her ...her eyes are chinky. I can't help what God gave me. lol


That felt good to get out.

sozobe, you made your own?!! WOW. I would love to take a class from you. I am not as crafty as I'd like to be.

sozlet may be trying to race to the church faster than you'd like ...if she's that close to the computer for wedding topics. hehehe

<runs before sozobe gets mad>

I made my own, but it was not my finest hour. Wouldn't do it the same way over again I don't think. We were poor poor poor and my very favorite fabric store was going out of business and I got a whole bunch of silk for crazy cheap (silk satin + silk chiffon) and what I SHOULD have done was just taken that to a tailor -- would have cost but not nearly as much as buying a whole dress. But no, I thought I could do it while holding down two jobs in two states and going to grad school in two states... argh!! (I DO sew, but this was overambitious with the designing it myself and several layers and boning and and and...)

So it was a tragicomedy in the last week before the wedding trying to get the thing finished, with friends "helping" and pinning sections together wrong so I had to tear seams out and re-do... ugh.

It was pretty, I have nice pictures and everything, but what a headache.

Oh and sympathy on your mother's comments. Grr! Cultural thing? I know she's Korean not Chinese, but I was having a Joy Luck Club moment...

beautiful.

Joa--

Believe it or not, your mother is telling you she's going to miss you and she'll always worry about you.

Take notes for how to communicate with your daughter.

The dress is stunning, and I bet you'll be a knockout wearing it. Very simple, extremely elegant, great lines....

Who can blame sozlet? I keep going back to look at it again and again myself!

I've been married twice, and neither time did I get the long, white gown. WOW!

Thats a really cool dress fo sho.

Jo - I'm sorry. I know this is supposed to be a joyful time, and I would take your mothers words if I could and throw them away. But, by now you know this is how she communicates with you, right? I mean, this isn't a big "outta nowhere" thing, right?

I'm not into guilt. It's so distructive. I just wanted to give a little perspective, a little something to keep at the back of your mind as the next few months come and go, so she doesn't drive you crazy.

Hey, maybe each time she says something like what was said today you could say "I love you too, Mom." Or, "I'm going to miss you, too."

Chin up. You are going to be so beautiful in that dress!!

my mom still won't talk to me. talk about the guilt i feel.

usually takes a couple of days before she cools down.

i may have to make her some ricecakes or something.

that dress is so beautiful!!!!
Congratulations on the wedding, finding someone you want to marry, having family that shares such a wonderful experience with you and most of all congratulations on your new life. ;-)

I just read the entire thread.
Jeezzee I hope my comment wasnt considered rude. I didnt realize that you and your mom were having an arguement.
I completely agree with squinney on this . Your mom isnt using the best tactics for telling you she loves you. And the sad part is that you have to hear these mean words before you can realize what she REALLY wants to say. ( sigh) Yeah.. you are right.. moms.. sheeeesh.
Great suggestion : next time just say.. yeah, i love you too mom. :-)

I've been quiet since I find your mother's behavior a little disturbing. Even if you were younger, I'd find it odd, but aren't you 27 or so? The taunting plus the several day pout...

You probably have patterns of communication that I wouldn't be comfortable with but you two are.

hehe

I think there are big cultural differences on how/how long/and overall temperaments from Asian to U.S. mother/daughter or father/daughter discipline and roles never end in most Asian countries. it's not uncommon to see a 60y.o. parent hit their 35 y.o. child when they feel they're out of line.

squinney is right when she said this is probably nothing new to me. ...just we were doing soooooooooo good for the longest time until "the picking out of the dress."