How was it for you?..... The first time I mean.

Li'l Turtle wrote, "How do you keep someone in suspense?...


Two llama hunters from Texas are flown into a remote lake in Alaska. They have a good hunt and both manage to get a large llama. When the plane returns to pick them up, the pilot looks at the animals and says, "This little plane won't lift all of us, the equipment, and both of those animals. You'll have to leave one. We'd never make it over the trees on the take off."

"That's baloney!" says one of the hunters. "Yeah," the other agrees, "you're just chicken. We came out here last year and got two llamas and that pilot had some guts! He wasn't afraid to take off!"
"Yeah", said the first hunter, "and his plane wasn't any bigger than yours!"

The pilot got angry, and said, "Hell, if he did it, then I can do it! I can fly as well as anybody!" They loaded up, taxied at full throttle, and the plane almost made it, but didn't have the lift to clear the trees at the end of the lake. It clipped the tops, then flipped, then broke up, scattering the baggage, animal carcasses, and passengers all through the brush.

Still alive, but hurt and dazed, the pilot sat up, shook his head to clear it, and said, "Where are we?" One of the hunters rolled out from being thrown into a bush, looked around and said, "I'd say... "










Suspense; I'll tell you later…

I fell for it! I wasn't expecting that, good one!

I hope the llamas didn't get hurt.

"I hope the llamas didn't get hurt."

Please be assured there is no cause for allama.
No critters were hurt in the making of the gag. There are no Llamas in Alaska, and no hunters in Texas. :wink:

Suspense, I'll tell you later …"About a hundred yards further than last year."

Try wrote:

"Please be assured there is no cause for allama."

Oh boy, that was so silly it made me smile, and-

"About a hundred yards further than last year."

that made me laugh! (i needed it too!)

Thank you for the suspense. Here is a llama riddle for you-

Why don't buddhist vaccum in corners?

Try wrote:

"They don't have any attachments!" Isn't that a cute one?! Did you look that up or did you know it? Confess!

"I wonder why in all the doctrine of this world it is the man who is the primary mover even though form is clearly empty, just like a bubble."

I understand, but the forms serve a purpose, watching one's bubble burst is a learning lesson, it can possibly make a stronger spiritual connection in the long run.

God works through people, men can boast and change thing's all they want, but they walk and live on God's earth. Find an honest man/woman with a clean heart and you have found a more than blessed person.

"Women have their own set of attachments to deal with."

I agree, but my previous attachments that have been taken away that I have had to accept, have made me stronger. How so? How much learning/knowledge would be derived from detaching from a few thing's? How much learning/knowledge would be derived from detaching from many thing's? (detaching is difficult, at first)
There is an (unknown?) formula I have experienced. Someone might have already figured this out and written about it, but I have not read it. I'll try to explain, (short version) I'll call it-

"The depth of a well."

Pain and suffering is like a dry well one falls into, it can be any type of adversity a human might experience, death of a child, drug addiction, divorce, not getting what we want, any type of loss, etc.


To me the depth of a well (adversity) becomes our teacher if we allow it to. The wisdom that one can gain from learning to climb upwards and out is at least equal to the depth of the well or despair one experiences while falling, at the bottom, and while climbing.
Picture climbing upwards and getting to know every crack and crevice (strong holds) that will assist in the climb. The deeper the well, the more experienced the climber can become.
What would be an optimum action at the bottom? Look up towards the light, ask God for help, allow who ever shows up to be your guide, God works through people. If the fallen person refuses to climb they become stuck or emotionally stunted. Watch out for the wells!

"A knowledgeable person learns from their own mistakes, a wise person learns from other's." (can't remember source)
I added to that :
"If you can't be wise at least be knowledgeable!" pjgy.

"I attended a Buddhist lecture where a professor talked about why it is harder for women to reach enlightenment because of these attachments."
I beg to differ! I haven't physically met a man that has attained what I have. I'm not saying they don't exist, I just haven't met one.

"In The Power of Now, the writer mentions how it is easier for women to find enlightenment. I have my own opinions in this area. This may be a good topic for women to discuss."



I don't think enlightenment or leading up to it is easy for anyone. Can a person become enlghtened without experiencing or at least viewing suffering? If they have done either one of those, then I wouldn't say it was easy.

"Don't you think that some men are little too attached to the idea that women can't attain awakening?"

I'm not familiar with mens views on that, but I know a few women that have had biblical-like experiences.



"Go to a monastic university and study for twenty-five years. Begin by memorizing Vasubandhu's Abhidharmakosha with its commentary (500 pages or so). Then study what you have memorised by hearing lectures on it and debating the contents with other candidates until you can argue every side of every controversy equally well. Then memorise several works of Nagarjuna, along with their commentaries. Then memorise the seven treatises of Dharmakirti. In additional to that study, you must master several forms of meditation and study tantric rituals for about two or three years."

May I ask if you have done this, or are you relaying information?

"Alternatively, you can come to America and just call yourself a Lama."

Are you teaseing again...Try

"What did a Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?"

I relish mustard, fill her up!? (i have no idea, do tell)

One more thing..."You can never tell the depth of the well, by the length of the pump handle" (my dad used to say that)

Tryagain me loves,...have you...you know, did you have one also, an awakening that is ?????? Sorry if I'm being intrusive, it's just that I don't get to meet to many people that have had this experience.
So I'll just sit here, with my nose pressed against the monitor, waiting for your reply.

Try wrote:

"Make me one with everything." That's a riot!

"There is more chance of snow in hell!" Did you write this?-

THERMODYNAMICS OF HELL

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry midterm. The answer by one student was so profound that the
professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet, which is of
course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus question:

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most
of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some
variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they
are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how
many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that
exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are
not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are
more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more
than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth
and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell
to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's
Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to
stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls
are added. This gives two possibilities:

1 - If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.

2 - Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase
of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my
Freshman year, that "...it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep
with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not
succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true,
and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.

The student received the only "A" given
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I enjoyed the hell out of that!


"The less we want, the more we can appreciate what we have."

I agree, but every now and then, I watch the earthling's and I wish I could be one, you know, enjoy the 'stuff' part. I like stuff, I just don't love it.

"Ps. I hope your nose gets better sometime soon."

...

"Make me one with everything" is funny! It reminds me of my favorite...

Q: How many Zen Buddhists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Change must come from within.

Try wrote:

"YES!!!!!"

Caught ya! (using 5 exclamation points that is.)

"My bet is they live with the bears, squirrels and deer, and you just never realized it."

Is that true...me deer?

Gay older brother, gay younger brother, gay girlfriend...what a happy family! No wonder he felt like celebrating!



"That's true and funny, any more?"

Yes, I found this one-

"Please be assured there is no cause for allama." ~Sum Young Guy


Now I need to apaulajize...sorry, couldn't resist!

Condolences accepted, pau....turtlette*. Thanks for thinking of me. Glad you liked the joke!

*Why'd you change your name?

I'm not sure, my built-in-forgetter has kicked in. Something about I deleted my e-mail account and couldn't get back in as paulaj.

See riddle forum, Try your best!