How was it for you?..... The first time I mean.

Try wrote:

"I bid you adieu, and return betwixt a rock and a hard place, for I am a sinner."

Don't go.

Trya2kforpresident wrote:

"If I remember correctly, they were the critters sent to earth in a Dr Who movie."

I was under the influence, I swear!



Hold your domino...and let it be counted!

You know who, (but I have no idea) wrote:

I was under the influence"

Under whose influence? Are we talking Paris again? The scoundrel.

Did you attend the Boston A2K gathering, that so appalled one of our younger and therefore more impressionable members?


"Hold your domino...and let it be counted!"

After a checkered life, I'm a nobody, and as we all know, nobody is perfect. Check mate!




Or is it? :wink:

Tryagain wote:

"Did you attend the Boston A2K gathering, that so appalled one of our younger and therefore more impressionable members? "

No, I did not attend the gathering...I was to busy being a recluse! -
<shakes head at self>



"After a checkered life, I'm a nobody,( <--i think not! ) and as we all know, nobody is perfect. Check mate!"

<stares at above comment real hard, squints mind you! I even perform a quote search because I almost have an idea, but can't seem to put my king in the right spot...brain has flatlined,...I capi..capitullll...capitulate, ouch! (brain cramps, [size=7]more like pride,[/size] hurt!)>

"Or is it?" :wink:

Yeeees it is...happy? <---that made sense when I first wrote it. <shrugs>

Tricky Dixie wrote:
"No, I did not attend the gathering...I was to busy being a recluse! -"

Tell me about it: Yesterday I went to visit a recluse. As I was sitting there talking with her, I notice a bowl of peanuts sitting on the table in front of me. "Do you mind if I have a few peanuts?" I asked the lady.

"Help yourself," she replies.

After about an hour, I get up to leave and notice that I have eaten almost all of the peanuts in the bowl. I apologize to the lady. "I only meant to eat a few."

"That's okay," says the lady, "Since I've lost my teeth, all I've been able to do is suck the chocolate off of them."

"...happy? <---that made sense when I first wrote it."

Not:

Little Kathy was in the back yard, filling in a hole, when I peered over the fence. Interested in what the youngster was doing I politely asked, "What are you up to, Kathy?"

"My goldfish died," the child replied tearfully without looking up, "and I've just buried him."

I was so moved by the little girl's emotion. "Oh, I'm so sorry," I said. "But that's an awfully big hole for a little goldfish, isn't it honey?"

Kathy patted down the last of the earth and replied "That's because he's inside your f***** cat."

Try wrote:

"Help yourself," she replies.

"Since I've lost my teeth, all I've been able to do is suck the chocolate off of them."

...happy? Not:

I wouldn't be to happy about that myself! Recluse people sure are colorful folks aren't they?

Just for the record...I'm no peanut sucker!... I am a bit quirky, but not like that!

Microwaved a digital camera? Well....no.

<LOL>

It's not to late, you're still young!

What happened to the great story about cooking the camera? It was here earlier. My reply doesn't make any sense now.

Eva wrote:

"What happened to the great story about cooking the camera? It was here earlier. My reply doesn't make any sense now."

Confession of a turtlette. Because my stories are true and a bit 'different', after posting, a feeling of uncomfortable uniqueness set's in, which leads me back to the edit option. I can't help it. I don't alway's erase, just sometimes. Sorry.


"

Lil' Turtle is a lil' shy at times, it's part of my charm.


Try wrote:

"After she left, I got free and left via the window. Now, my problem is what do I do? I'm not Happy, you understand, but should I tell the others?" "May I suggest you plead the 5th."

O.K., no more obscure stories from me, I shall button my lip! :wink:

Try wrote:



My stories are so silly, I have one that I've been thinking about telling for almost a year. It's about a conversation I had with a policeman,..he asked me a question and I told him the truth, that conversation went from bad to worse SO quickly! eeeew. For the most part I didn't do anything wrong, my crime was, I wasn't paying attention, sort of. I can't bring myself to tell it, it won't come out. It's hilarious though, or at least it is now. The policeman wa screaming at me, ouch. He asked me a question and then would repeat my answer LOUDLY as if in disbelief

I was being innocent and honest with my answers and it made him nutty/insane.

One of these day's I will tell it. :wink:

(Mode delete - legal considerations)










Wow, was that hot or what! You could make millions from that.

Try wrote:


"Things not to say to a cop when he pulls you over:

Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job."

cute!

I think I'll make some up.

I can't beleive you finally caught me...your're not a dumb as you look!

I know why you pulled me over, you want me to buy a ticket to the policeman's ball. What's that you said, policeman don't have balls? (i didn't make that one up)

"Why were you weaving mam?" "It isn't easy trying to roll a joint and steer at the same time you know, here hold this for me <hands a bag of pot to cop> while I find my brand new stolen license, I can't beleive how much this person looks like me, here look,...what do you think? Carbon copy of me or what?!

"Mam, I don't think this person looks like you at all"

"Does to!"

"No, they don't mam."

"YES, they do!...Open the trunk and have a look for yourself!"

<pops trunk>

"This person is black, you're white!"

<rolls eyes at cop>

"Take the hood off, Einstein"

"Oh yeah, I see what you mean. Look mam, I'm not to bright, I even had to cheat on the simple test they gave me to get this job!...I can't beleive I said that! Look, if I give you a free ticket to the 'Policemans Ball' will you keep your mouth shut?"

"Huh? ya, whatever."

Moral to this story-

If a policeman gives you a ticket, take it and keep your mouth shut!





(Mode delete - legal considerations)



"Wow, was that hot or what! You could make millions from that."



Huh???????????????

Dear Tryagain,

How do you, do that voo-doo, that you do, so well?

Turtlette wrote, "How do you, do that voo-doo, that you do, so well?"

A friend of mine is into Voodoo Acupuncture. You don't have to go. You'll just be walking down the street, and...ooooohhhhhh, that's much better.

Do you know anyone who has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
I do.
"Voodoo?"
I do.
"You do?"
Yes, I bet voodoo too.

"If a policeman gives you a ticket, take it and keep your mouth shut!"

I was going 70 miles an hour and got stopped by a cop who said, "Do you know the speed limit is 55 miles per hour?"
"Yes, officer, but I wasn't going to be out that long"

One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign.
He said, "Didn't you see the stop sign?"
I said, "Yeah, but don't believe everything you read" :wink:

"A friend of mine is into Voodoo Acupuncture. You don't have to go. You'll just be walking down the street, and...ooooohhhhhh, that's much better."

I believe you.

Try, how do you keep somenoe in suspense?...