Reply
Sun 16 Feb, 2003 01:13 pm
Life sucks,
sometimes
I come home
Curtains closed balcony door
open Eminem blasting
somebody's angry somebody's
sad light's dimmed somebody's
smoking somebody's always
stoned (cold air blows inside)
I don't know what to do I
stay out I read Fury
but I can't find the fury within
me, I don't know where
to look don't know where to
be Soil ball of anger compressed
up inside like it's inside her
You spend nights discussing Kosovo
when inside you're lost
finding your stop+go
Learnt to handle rage, lifetimes, stories,
despair - helplessness,
name it we got it
Always somebody's
emergency
Now I lost my own
emergencies
seething like hers but
hiding inside somewhere
sometime
sometime soon Perhaps
it'll be me (I think & scoff
immediately) to go and explode
words, or visuals, some great
Idea it might be me some time, instead,
cause This frozen core to melt-
down go Bang big even something
Good (I don't think so)
meanwhile I don't want to
don't want to do this
don't want every Panick-struck moment
filled with dreams of beaches wide sky
silence and the surf foaming at its
mouth- no-surf that's flat
expanses of water white bridge
white table trees and dunes
silence and peace There's
no peace in this nailbomb day
after day night after night
spent up distracting my mind
overdrive mind
scan, locate, target -
shoot
In obsessive concern, concen-
tration always something
you need to finish, Now
no matter what time
no matter who
cares this is my
misconstrued medicine my
relaxation now means
forcing thoughts into tunnel
vision mode to wipe out
everything
else everything too
hard too intense always too
difficult too sad too
self-involved
strike out
blind out blank
out
all
the rest
all
out
and
go
on
again
again
there were all kinds of nasty pasted-from-Word formatting things saying &656;h and stuff like that in the above - I hadnt noticed. Took them out now.
Yes, that was distracting when I first saw it.
Would be great to get your input on "Fury" when you're done.
I loved the lines "relaxation now means/ forcing thoughts into a tunnel" and the stylistic echo after (as the format narrows down to a single word per line.)
i couldnt choose so now its not quite either a bad poem or a failed rap ;-)
Go to the red
keep going
don't stop its only a light
see the church in the distance
its full of people
hoping that there is
something to all this
stuff that gets said here
and inside they think
I am the only one who's scared
everybody else seems to know
what they're here for and falling off
the edge the red light dims breaks up
flies in the face of convention
which defies gravity as it transcends
the fall of night as the birds and the bees
come down to pollenate the flowers
that died before the dawn of time
and suddenly it is morning
and the rush of consciousness floods in to
make him aware that all this
has been just
a dream
and it is
Monday and
he
has
to
go
to
work
damn !
Nimh, the swirl of thoughts and emotions fragmenting, flying off in a million directions, is dizzying and very effective. I think we've all been there at times. It is a terrifying place, because it is impossible to focus or to make sense of it all, especially when it involves someone you love.
thanks for the improvisation, hiama, that's cool. i like this:
hiama wrote:and inside they think
I am the only one who's scared
everybody else seems to know
what they're here for and falling off
the edge the red light dims breaks up
flies in the face of convention
which defies gravity as it transcends
the fall of night as the birds and the bees
come down to pollenate the flowers
that died before the dawn of time
Nimh, thanks this is an interesting thread, its good that Diane and Sozobe have given such positive thoughts too.
I liked your material too especially this bit :-
"
I don't know what to do I
stay out I read Fury
but I can't find the fury within
me, I don't know where
to look don't know where to
be Soil ball of anger compressed
up inside like it's inside her
You spend nights discussing Kosovo
when inside you're lost
finding your stop+go "
I hope others join in, we can play off each others energy. Back later to contribute some more
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