Thank you Robert for a thoughtful response. This is obviously an emotional issue, I will try to answer with reason.
This is a discussion happening among a lot of male survivors, Able2know is a microcosm of what is happening (although Able2know doesn't have the filters of much of social media... something I appreciate).
I do not accept the comparison to "all lives matter" (and as a White man, you will see me, even on Able2know") rejecting "all lives matter". The difference, to me, is a personal one.
I am a real survivor. The pain I experienced is real, it is not pretend. I do not take away from the pain felt by other survivors (of any gender)... but I do want to be included in the discussion
. When it comes to being a survivor of sexual assult, gender of the victim or of the perpetrator shouldn't matter. But it does matter in how society interprets the story or reacts to us as survivors.
Male survivors experience pain, the same as female survivors. There are some challenges that males face because society doesn't accept. Often we are told that we should "like it". If our perp is a woman, we are told that we were week. It took me years to accept that what happened to me wasn't my fault.
The hurt (intended or not) is that we are excluded. And it isn't just the current Facebook tag, it has been in society in general. And it isn't just me who is saying this.
I would never take away from the pain felt by female survivors. That is not my intent. But there is a complex range of emotions
for me (and many of us) when these things come up. On Facebook male survivors are actually being attacked simply for using the tag. And then there is the feeling that I have that the issue is being used politically... I don't know how to have a discussion in a respectful way about it. But this is my feeling and I have expressed it. So there it is
I don't feel like I am stealing anything from female survivors when I ask for my story to be included.
Many of us would like our stories to be included.