"Smile! You're on candid camera!" And then you
go into your favourite strip routine - you know the one that required the Shore Patrol to escort you to safety that time you did it when the Navy was in town - after which you suddenly remember
that you did not change your underwear this morning and
it is your maiden Aunt Agatha's favourite program and she has warned you before about running the risk of having your name erased from her will because of your disgusting behaviour, especially since the time you
fed her dog food instead of meat loaf, you two bit
cracked out, good for everything, saint where have you been all
evening? You lousy, rotten, smelly, two-timing, lazy, good-for-nothing, empty-headed, bad-breathed, foul-mouthed
POS. I LOVE YOU and I want to
Smack you upside the head with this frying pan as hard as I can and believe me, it's what you deserve, you lying
dude. You want to make sweet sweet love to me all night long and then run my bath while you massage my
cat... she's had a bad day, too... see the big lump she got in the cat fight with
the dishwasher and the dishwasher won. So, I want you to take it outside and
thump it soundly, get all the ticks and fleas and cooties out, then put it back on and
while your out there pee in the woods so those pesky wolves dont come looking for a
home to hibernate in... or do they even
differentiate your urine fron beer? Who knows but hopefully they stay away from my
local milk man and have them all
thrown into the Hudson River where they can damn well
