Dominance = denial

Forums: Philosophy
Email this Topic • Print this Page

I see dominance as a neurotic denial of one's own limitation. Why do some people want to control others? I think it's because they are annoyed by their own limitations, like how they can't even control themselves and their lives sometimes, and their frustration builds up inside them not knowing that controlling others is not a solution to their own hatred and frustration. What do you guys think?

Topic Stats
Top Replies
Link to this Topic

Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 1,906 • Replies: 37

No top replies

I control others because they allow it.

0 Replies

Quote:

I control others because they allow it.

lol, fair enough.

0 Replies

Cinnesthesia wrote:

I control others because they allow it.

Cinn, I do love your style, woman! Smile

0 Replies

Re: Dominance = denial
Ray
Desire of dominance is in all of us. It has to do with the problem of seeing the others as individualities like us. Children tend to see other people as extension of themselves. We grow up learning that the others have their own personality, desires, life. They don't exist as something functional that we can handle.
I think we can never free ourselves from that desire of domination. In many little situations of life, dominance is present: when a man seats on table waiting his wife to serve diner, he is establishing a relation of dominance: the wife, in his eyes, plays a role, a role that is functional towards him. In that moment his wife is being objectivated.
Women do the same thing, in other situations.

The question is to know the limits. To know the line where you find yourself seeing the others, like a child would do: extensions of you, functional objects.
I think Sartre exposed this idea in a very intelligent novel: "Erostrate". Reading it is a good lesson to all of us.

0 Replies

The desire to dominate stems from fear. If you cannot trust your son to make the right desisions on his own behalf, you might take control and do it for him. Domination out of fear. If you don't trust you fear, and if you fear you will feel the desire to dominate if it can lessen the feeling.

Saddam Hussein did all sorts of horrible things because he was afraid he might not remain in power if he did not. So did George Bush and his administration.

So it is easy. Fear is in your heart, the one thing that is hardest to dominate. It is easier to dominate other people by using guns than to dominate the power that is in your heart. But isnt that our true task?

"I'll run until I reach the frontline
I'll make killing my art
Cause this war is an easier fight
Than the war in my heart"

From the song "What if she says no"

0 Replies

Lady J and Cinny-

Knock off the glee girls.

Actually it might not be that the others "allow" it.It might be that logic gives them no alternative.But like all cults,there's hierarchy.Are you two black belts yet?
Anyway-if the others "allow" they are controlling.

spendius.

0 Replies

I have a black belt in persuasion.

0 Replies

dominance was a survival mechanism from prehistoric times, allowing the physically (or, very occassionally, mentally) superior to hold a possition of power over more submissive community members, thus creating a heirarchy by which they all knew their 'place'!

[unfortunately, it is still practiced in 2004 going on 5!!! by the 'primitives' in our society.]

0 Replies

Re: Dominance = denial

Ray wrote:

I see dominance as a neurotic denial of one's own limitation. Why do some people want to control others? I think it's because they are annoyed by their own limitations, like how they can't even control themselves and their lives sometimes, and their frustration builds up inside them not knowing that controlling others is not a solution to their own hatred and frustration. What do you guys think?

What you describe here reads more like what they call "projection," not "dominance." Domination can be a sad side effect of projection. I would concur with Bo and Cyracuz, the natural desire in nature for one animal or 'primitive' to dominate another does stem from a natural sense of fear (for survival), but then again, fear also fuels submission. If you can overcome fear, you can overcome the 'instinct' to be both dominant or submissive, unless of course, it's bedroom play, and enjoyable for both parties.

0 Replies

here, here; it is simply 'civilized' to hide 'dominance' in the bedroom! Evil or Very Mad

[or maybe a closet! Shocked

]

0 Replies

cav-

"bedroom play"?

What would play have to do with fear?
Cinnesthesia isn't playing by the sound of it.She's talking persuasion with a black belt.
Do you think she has any pity in her?For us poor saps .
spendius.

0 Replies

Spendius, just like the honorable black belt in self-defense (which I do not possess, unless yoga is considered a martial art), I only use it when absolutely necessary.

0 Replies

Val, if my wife wants to serve me dinner, then I would accept it not as being dominant to her but as being helped. If she doesn't want to serve me dinner, then I would serve myself dinner, and not try to force her into serving me dinner. I don't see it as "dominance."

Quote:

What you describe here reads more like what they call "projection," not "dominance." Domination can be a sad side effect of projection. I would concur with Bo and Cyracuz, the natural desire in nature for one animal or 'primitive' to dominate another does stem from a natural sense of fear (for survival), but then again, fear also fuels submission. If you can overcome fear, you can overcome the 'instinct' to be both dominant or submissive, unless of course, it's bedroom play, and enjoyable for both parties.

So fear, unhealthy view of oneself, and ignorance all contributes to this dominance thing.

Quote:

So it is easy. Fear is in your heart, the one thing that is hardest to dominate. It is easier to dominate other people by using guns than to dominate the power that is in your heart. But isnt that our true task?

Yeah, I also think that our task is to have control over one's emotions and desires. Conquer yourself.

Quote:

dominance was a survival mechanism from prehistoric times, allowing the physically (or, very occassionally, mentally) superior to hold a possition of power over more submissive community members, thus creating a heirarchy by which they all knew their 'place'!

[unfortunately, it is still practiced in 2004 going on 5!!! by the 'primitives' in our society.]

I see dominance as an evolutionary leftover that gives us neither truth nor security. The want to dominate can as easily provide chaos as it can provide order.

0 Replies

Without dominance, where would submission be? And without sadism where would we find masochism?

Submission is for poor, pitiful saps........get out your whips, girls. The guys are beggin for us.

0 Replies

I shall return to this tomorrow with luck.

spendius.

0 Replies

Bring your totems. You'll need them.

0 Replies

Cinnesthesia wrote:

Bring your totems. You'll need them.

Cinny-

Have no totems I,m afraid.Heard about 'em.Outa date I gather.

What about that Lola eh?Whips.Golly.Mi knees are knockin'

spendius.

0 Replies

Not out of date, but ancient. Bring your demons, then.

Lola is dangerous.

0 Replies

I like 'em dangerous.

Their dangerousness excites me.

Lola doesn't much care for open doors.She prefers battering them down.She lives in the centre of the hive.It takes more than a new set of curtains to entertain The Dark Queen of Manhattan.

spendius.

0 Replies

Dominance = denial

Related Topics

Quick Links

My Account

able2know