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WA2K Radio is now on the air

 
 
Ticomaya
 
  1  
Reply Thu 3 Nov, 2005 12:16 pm
Well, as we all struggle for words to express our heartfelt sorrow at Letty's loss, humor can often help. And lawyer jokes are always appreciated. Here's my favorite:

It seems that there were two brothers; one went to business school and became a banker, the other went to law school and became a lawyer. As will happen in some families, they drifted apart. So much so, that they completely lost touch with each other; neither knew the address or phone number of the other.

The banker did very well. He became vice president of a large eastern bank, which had many, many branches. One day, the banker realized that they were soon approaching the lawyer's 50th birthday and he really ought to try to locate his brother. He set about this methodically, got a letter off to various bar associations, until finally his efforts were rewarded. He received a letter that his brother was vice president and general counsel for a small circus in an out-of-the-way place in Kansas. No phone number given. Directory assistance was of no help; the circus did not have a telephone.

So the banker flew to Kansas City and then took a bus to Topeka. At the bus station in Topeka, he asked a cab driver for help, and the latter allowed that for just $20, he could take the banker to the circus. And he did. He drove the banker to the outskirts of town and then to a smaller town, and then to a little village and at the far end of the village was the circus. A sad sight. Covered with Kansas dust. All the trucks and trailers needed a paint job. Sad. Not second rate, not even third rate... And there he found his brother's trailer, with the brother's name on the door, followed by "Vice President and General Counsel."

The banker knocked on the door. The lawyer opened the door. They tearfully embraced, and each told the other what he had been doing the last 25 years. After about 30 minutes of this, the lawyer looked at his watch, and said, "Time to give the elephant an enema."

"WHAT?" asked the banker, as the lawyer dressed himself in a yellow rain slicker.

"Time to give the elephant his enema," repeated the lawyer.

"What ARE you talking about?" asked the banker.

"Come with me," said the lawyer. "You see, the circus has fallen on hard times. We didn't have the money for liability insurance. Last year, after the circus had its parade through a small town, an old man slipped on a 'deposit' the elephant left on the street. The old man broke his leg. We were sued; no insurance, and the large judgment which resulted all but wiped us out. We just couldn't afford another claim like that. It would put us out of business. And there is a parade this afternoon."

With that the lawyer walked outside, dressed in his rain slicker, grabbed a fire hose, inserted the nozzle into the elephant's rectum and turned on the hydrant. Almost immediately, the elephant had a most normal reaction; he sprayed the hapless lawyer from head to toe with fecal matter.

The banker stood there, out of range, and watched these proceedings in utter disbelief. First, he couldn't speak at all; then he said to his brother, "Please! You don't have to do that! Come back east with me. I have a good position with the bank. I can get you a CLEAN job as teller, maybe even as loan officer."

And the lawyer, wiping his face, answers, shouting, "WHAT?!! AND GIVE UP THE PRACTICE OF LAW???"
0 Replies
 
Letty
 
  1  
Reply Thu 3 Nov, 2005 12:21 pm
Piffka, Slappy, and edgar, you know how fond we are of you, sweet things. Thank you.

dys, littlek and eoe. Big hugs and admiration to you three musketeers. <smile>

spendius, ehBeth, and Diane. What a motley crew. Razz A Brit; a Canadian; and a 'merican. Love it, and thank you.

Reyn, BBB, and Osso. Three creative and talented people make us feel so secure, especially in times of despair.
0 Replies
 
yitwail
 
  1  
Reply Thu 3 Nov, 2005 12:46 pm
there aren't many good computer programmer jokes, i'm afraid. if anyone knows one, i'd like to hear it. this one's really corny, but might be good for a chuckle:

Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better
programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come
to an agreement to hold a contest, with God as the Judge.
They set themselves before their computers and begin. They
type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for
several hours straight. Seconds before the end of the
competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the
electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God
announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show
what he has come up with.
Satin is visibly upset and cries, "I have nothing, I lost
it all when the power went out."
"Very well, then, " says God, "let us see if Jesus fared
any better."
Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in
vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pours forth
from the speakers.
Satan is astonished. He stutters, "B-b-but how?! I lost
everything yet Jesus' program is Intact! How did he do it?"
God Chuckles, "Everybody knows...Jesus Saves."
0 Replies
 
Letty
 
  1  
Reply Thu 3 Nov, 2005 12:52 pm
Hey, Prince, I still drop your name down here, honey.

Ellpus, you are still the brat that I love to see with your wonderful and dry wit. Thanks, but stay out of Kicky's threads. <smile>

Joe, C.I. and Ash. Try and be a regular on WA2K. You give some class to the studio, and thanks.

Tico, you are right. I have had wonderful laughs with all Bud's friends from Virginia who have called, and that is the way he would like to be remembered. Thank you, and because of all of you here, I feel so much more accepting.

All the arrangements are made, now, and it is just as my family wants it to be. My daughter is flying in today, and my niece will be here to represent my extended family.

thank you all for giving me a sense of serenity.

From Letty with love,
0 Replies
 
djjd62
 
  1  
Reply Thu 3 Nov, 2005 01:09 pm
some music

This Must be the Place (Naive Melody)
Talking Heads

Home is where I want to be
Pick me up and turn me round
I feel numb - born with a weak heart
I guess I must be having fun
The less we say about it the better
Make it up as we go along
Feet on the ground
Head in the sky
It's ok I know nothing's wrong . . nothing

Hi yo I got plenty of time
Hi yo you got light in your eyes
And you're standing here beside me
I love the passing of time
Never for money
Always for love
Cover up and say goodnight . . . say goodnight

Home - is where I want to be
But I guess I'm already there
I come home - she lifted up her wings
Guess that this must be the place
I can't tell one from another
Did I find you, or you find me?
There was a time Before we were born
If someone asks, this where I'll be . . . where I'll be

Hi yo We drift in and out
Hi yo sing into my mouth
Out of all those kinds of people
You got a face with a view
I'm just an animal looking for a home
Share the same space for a minute or two
And you love me till my heart stops
Love me till I'm dead
Eyes that light up, eyes look through you
Cover up the blank spots
Hit me on the head Ah ooh


Redemption Song
Bob Marley

Oh pirates, yes, they rob I;
Sold I to the merchant ships,
Minutes after they took I
From the bottomless pit.
But my hand was made strong
By the 'and of the Almighty.
We forward in this generation
Triumphantly.
Won't you help to sing
These songs of freedom? -
'Cause all I ever have:
Redemption songs;
Redemption songs.

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery;
None but ourselves can free our minds.
Have no fear for atomic energy,
'Cause none of them can stop the time.
How long shall they kill our prophets,
While we stand aside and look? Ooh!
Some say it's just a part of it:
We've got to fullfil the book.

Won't you help to sing
These songs of freedom? -
'Cause all I ever have:
Redemption songs;
Redemption songs;
Redemption songs.
---
/Guitar break/
---
Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery;
None but ourselves can free our mind.
Wo! Have no fear for atomic energy,
'Cause none of them-a can-a stop-a the time.
How long shall they kill our prophets,
While we stand aside and look?
Yes, some say it's just a part of it:
We've got to fullfil the book.
Won't you help to sing
These songs of freedom? -
'Cause all I ever had:
Redemption songs -
All I ever had:
Redemption songs:
These songs of freedom,
Songs of freedom.


Country Comfort
Elton John

Soon the pines will be falling everywhere
Village children fight each other for a share
And the 6:09 goes roaring past the creek
Deacon Lee prepares his sermon for next week

I saw grandma yesterday down at the store
Well she's really going fine for eighty four
Well she asked me if sometime I'd fix her barn
Poor old girl she needs a hand to run the farm

And it's good old country comfort in my bones
Just the sweetest sound my ears have ever known
Just an old-fashioned feeling fully-grown
Country comfort's any truck that's going home

Down at the well they've got a new machine
The foreman says it cuts man-power by fifteen
Yeah but that ain't natural well so old Clay would say
You see he's a horse-drawn man until his dying day

Now the old fat goose is flying cross the sticks
The hedgehog's done in clay between the bricks
And the rocking chair's creaking on the porch
Across the valley moves the herdsman with his torch
0 Replies
 
Eva
 
  1  
Reply Thu 3 Nov, 2005 01:11 pm
Your joke made me laugh out loud, Tico, but it's so sad.

I mean, it would be bad enough to be a lawyer, much less working for a third-rate circus, not to mention having to give elephants enemas...but why did you put him in...Kansas? Now, that's just cruel! Laughing Laughing Laughing
0 Replies
 
Ticomaya
 
  1  
Reply Thu 3 Nov, 2005 01:19 pm
Watch it now.

I could've said, "Oklahoma," but that might've been over the top. :wink:
0 Replies
 
Eva
 
  1  
Reply Thu 3 Nov, 2005 01:20 pm
Letty, when is the funeral?

I know it must be a relief that the arrangements are made, but I'm sure the next few days will be difficult. Hang in there, and we'll hang with you.

Here's a special song, just for you. I hope it will bring you sweet dreams and memories of happy times with Bud.

Love, Eva


DREAM A LITTLE DREAM

Stars shining bright above you
Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you"
Birds singin' in the sycamore tree
Dream a little dream of me

Say nighty-night and kiss me
Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me
While I'm alone and blue as can be
Dream a little dream of me

Stars fading but I linger on dear
Still craving your kiss
I'm longing to linger till dawn dear
Just saying this

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you
Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me
0 Replies
 
Eva
 
  1  
Reply Thu 3 Nov, 2005 01:21 pm
Ticomaya wrote:
Watch it now.

I could've said, "Oklahoma," but that might've been over the top. :wink:


Well, thank you for that.

I think.

Confused
0 Replies
 
Foxfyre
 
  1  
Reply Thu 3 Nov, 2005 01:23 pm
Letty I just heard of your loss. Even in the relief of knowing they are freed from a prison of illness, those of us left behind are right to embrace a time to say goodbye.

"The Dance"

Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared 'neath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance

Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I a queen.
But if I'd only known how the queen would fall
Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance

Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance
0 Replies
 
Foxfyre
 
  1  
Reply Thu 3 Nov, 2005 01:26 pm
Did ya'll know that churches in Las Vegas NV often get casino chips instead of money in the offering plates?

For some reason the Catholics get so many of these, sorting them out and cashing them in is something of a problem. So they designate one member to collect the chips from the various churches, sort them out, cash them in.

They call this person a chip monk.
0 Replies
 
Baldimo
 
  1  
Reply Thu 3 Nov, 2005 02:11 pm
My wife and I were married in Vegas at the Little white Chapple. The oddest thing was the priest gave us an envelope and when we opened it he was asking for a tip of $20 or more. Only in Vegas baby.
0 Replies
 
CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Thu 3 Nov, 2005 03:37 pm
chip monk Laughing I love it!

When Dr. Benjamin Spock, the world famous "baby doctor",
who resided in our small community, died, he wanted to
have a party.

So to the tunes of a New Orleans jazz band, everyone was
dancing around the hearse and on top of his coffin were
several women dancing, and most mourners were dressed in
bright colorful clothes. That was quite a spectacle to see.
0 Replies
 
Merry Andrew
 
  1  
Reply Thu 3 Nov, 2005 03:47 pm
Dear, dear Letty:
I've been a very sporadic visitor to this thread and so had not heard of your loss until just today. As with ci, a mutual friend e-mailed me and for this I am grateful. My deepest and most sincere condolences, Letty. Keep that chin up, girl.
Andy
0 Replies
 
eoe
 
  1  
Reply Thu 3 Nov, 2005 03:51 pm
here's a joke I heard yesterday:

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Florida, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.
Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?"
The Pharmacist answers "Yes."
Jacob: "We are about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"
Pharmacist: "Of course we do."
Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"
Pharmacist: "All kinds."
Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis?"
Pharmacist: "Definitely."
Jacob: "How about Viagra?"
Pharmacist: "Of course."
Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, Jaundice?"
Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."
Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"
Pharmacist: "Absolutely."
Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers?"
Pharmacists: "All speeds and sizes."
Jacob says to the pharmacist: "We'd like to use this store as our Bridal Registry."
0 Replies
 
Letty
 
  1  
Reply Thu 3 Nov, 2005 06:01 pm
Ah, there's our Andy, listeners. Hey, you need to be a frequent flyer, buddy. Thanks.

I love those quickies (jokes, that is). Thanks eoe, baldimo and foxfyre.

When I get more time, I will tell you about our wedding. UhOh. <smile>
0 Replies
 
Raggedyaggie
 
  1  
Reply Thu 3 Nov, 2005 06:21 pm
Oops. I didn't post today's birthdays, and Dolph Lundgren is on the list, too.

Here they are:


39 - Lucan, Roman poet (d. 65)
1487 - Melin de Saint-Gelais, French poet (d. 1558)
1500 - Benvenuto Cellini, Italian artist (d. 1571)
1560 - Annibale Carracci, Italian painter (d. 1609)
1587 - Samuel Scheidt, German composer (d. 1654)
1604 - Osman II, Ottoman Sultan (d. 1622)
1618 - Aurangzeb, Mughal emperor (d. 1707)
1633 - Bernardino Ramazzini, Italian physician (d. 1714)
1718 - John Montague, Earl of Sandwich (d. 1792)
1793 - Stephen F. Austin, American pioneer (d. 1836)
1794 - William Cullen Bryant, American poet and journalist (d. 1878)
1801 - Karl Baedeker, German author and publisher (d. 1859)
1801 - Vincenzo Bellini, Italian composer (d. 1835)
1816 - Jubal Early, American Confederate general (d. 1894)
1816 - Calvin Fairbank, American abolitionist minister (d. 1898)
1852 - Meiji Emperor, Japanese emperor (d. 1912)
1874 - Lucy Maud Montgomery, Canadian novelist (d. 1942)
1876 - Stephen Peter Alencastre, Roman Catholic prelate (d. 1940)
1887 - Samuil Marshak, Russian poet (d. 1964)
1895 - Grand Duchess Olga Nicolaievna Romanova (d. 1918)
1901 - André Malraux, French writer (d. 1976)
1901 - King Léopold III of Belgium (d. 1983)
1903 - Walker Evans, American photographer (d. 1975)
1908 - Bronko Nagurski, American football player (d. 1990)
1909 - James Reston, American journalist (d. 1995)
1910 - Richard Hurndall, British actor (d. 1984)
1918 - Bob Feller, baseball player
1918 - Russell B. Long, U.S. Senator from Louisiana (d. 2003)
1919 - Jesús Blasco, Spanish comic book author (d. 1995)
1920 - Oodgeroo Noonuccal, Australian writer (d. 1993)
1921 - Charles Bronson, American actor (d. 2003)
1930 - Brian Robinson, British cyclist
1933 - Jeremy Brett, English actor (d. 1995)
1933 - Michael Dukakis, American politician
1933 - Amartya Sen, Indian economist, Nobel Prize laureate
1933 - Ken Berry, American comedy television actor
1934 - John Barry, English composer
1936 - Roy Emerson, Australian tennis champion
1938 - Martin Dunwoody, British mathematician
1946 - Tom Savini, American actor, film maker, and makeup artist
1948 - Lulu (singer), British actress and singer
1949 - Larry Holmes, American boxer
1951 - Robert Prosser, American philosopher
1952 - Roseanne Barr, American actress and comedienne
1953 - Kate Capshaw, American actress
1953 - Dennis Miller, American comedian
1954 - Adam Ant, English singer
1954 - Brigitte Lin, Actress
1955 - Phil Simms, American football player
1956 - Kevin Murphy, American actor, author, and puppeteer
1957 - Dolph Lundgren, Swedish actor
1960 - Karch Kiraly, American volleyball player
1961 - David Armstrong-Jones, Viscount Linley (son of Britain's late Princess Margaret)
1962 - Marilyn, British musician
1963 - Ian Wright, English footballer
1967 - Steven Wilson, Porcupine Tree lead.
1970 - Dawn Marie Psaltis, American professional wrestler
1973 - Mick Thomson, American guitarist (Slipknot)
1973 - Nemone, Athlete and broadcaster
1974 - Tariq Abdul-Wahad, French basketball player
1977 - Aria Giovanni, American model
1979 - Joseph Daniel Lewis, American writer/director
1981 - Jackie Gayda, American professional wrestler
1982 - Evgeni Plushenko, Russian figure skater
1986 - Jasmine Trias, American singer
1987 - Gemma Ward, Australian supermodel
http://www.melemarce.com/Miti_passati/Immagini/dolph_lundgren_(ivan-drago)_ieri.jpg
0 Replies
 
Letty
 
  1  
Reply Thu 3 Nov, 2005 07:01 pm
Ah, sweet Raggedy. I know that our listeners always love your celebs.

Tell you what, folks. I will take that picture of the body beautiful with me to bed tonight. <smile>

Goodnight.

From Letty with love
0 Replies
 
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Thu 3 Nov, 2005 08:08 pm
Raggedyaddie, You missed my birthday! Just kidd'n. Wink
0 Replies
 
djjd62
 
  1  
Reply Thu 3 Nov, 2005 08:11 pm
a good night song for letty, sweet dreams

Baby's Request
Paul Mc Cartney and Wings

When the moon lays his head on a pillow
And the stars settle down for a rest,
Just do me one small favour, I beg you,
Please play me my baby's request.
It's the song that we heard when we started.
Now the birds have all flown from our nest,
But you could bring back mem'ries departed
By playing my baby's request.
My baby said that she knows how it goes
But you're the one who really knows,
So go ahead, just one more time and then we'll go to bed.

[solo]

But you could bring back mem'ries departed
By playing my baby's request.
My baby says she knows how it goes but you're the one that really knows.
So go ahead, just one more time and then we'll go to bed.
When the moon lays his head on a pillow
And the star settles down for a rest,
Just do me one small favour, I beg you,
Please play me baby's request.
Mh-hm, play me baby's request.
Please! Play me my baby's request -- one more time.
0 Replies
 
 

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