WA2K Radio is now on the air

Love it, edgar. I have a red-headed step child--a Dodge Monaco--body made in Canada--engine in France. Seriously, listeners.

Question:

Why do U.S. paratroopers always yell "Gironomo" when they jump?

McTag. Hank Williams, right?

Well, folks, please keep calling in requests. I must take a brief break.

This is cyberspace, WA2K radio, where the French and the Canajuns and the cajuns and the German and the British and the Americans love to wrestle alligators and play fiddles accompanied by the acoustic bass, and a little Spanish guitar.

A bit of Southern Comfort from the great state of Louisiana.

<Believe it or not, this expression does go back to the time of Geronimo, the great Native American Indian leader, who is first credited with its use. Legend has it that while being pursued by the U.S. cavalry near Medicine Bluffs, Oklahoma, the Apache chief was trapped at the edge of a cliff. Rather than surrender, he leapt off the cliff on horseback, yelling out his name "Geronimo!", to taunt the troops. He survived this jump and rode away to a short-lived freedom>

Put Geronimo in jail down south
Where he couldn't look
A gift horse in the mouth
Took old Geronimo by storm
Ripped off the feathers from his uniform

Chorus:
Oh boys, take me back
I wanna ride in Geronimo's cadillac
Oh boys, take me back
I wanna ride in Geronimo's cadillac

Sergeant, Sergeant, oh don't you feel
There's something wrong with your automobile
Warden, Warden, oh listen to me
Be brave and set Geronimo free
Governor, Governor, oh isn't it strange
You never seen a car on the Indian range

(chorus)

People, people, oh don't you know
The Indian's got no place to go
Jesus told me, and I believe it's true
The Red Man's in the sunset too
Took our land, now they won't give it back
They sent Geronimo a cadillac

(chorus)

Just posted this on the internet forum but thought I'd post here for those who don't check internet.

extensive alphabetical hoax listing

http://www.datafellows.com/hoaxes/hoax_index.shtml

Thanks Bob. Added to My Favorites.

Indeed, Bob. I did the same. Hmmmm. Thank goodness that our radio audience can't see the misspelled words of Letty. Merci, Francis for that bit of amerind history and also to edgar who reminded us of the Indian injustices.

and here's a little lingo by jingo:


In the land of San Domingo
Lived a girl called Oh By Jingo
(Ta da, ya da da da da da, um-pa, umpa um-pa um-pa)
From the fields and from the marshes
Came the young and old by goshes.
(Ta da, &c.)
They all spoke with a different lingo
But they all loved Oh By Jingo
And every night
They sang by the pale moon light

Oh By Gee, By Gosh, By Gum, by Jove,
Oh By Jingo, won't you hear our love!
We will build for you a hut
You will be our favorite nut.
We'll have a lot of little Oh By Gollies
Then we'll put them in the Follies.
By Jingo said, By Gosh By Gee-ee,
By Jimminy, please don't bother me.
So they all went away singing
Oh By Gee, by gosh, By Gum, By Jove, By Jingo,
Oh, By Gee, you're the only girl for me.

Oh By Jingo had a lover
He was always under cover.
(Ta da, &c.)
Every night she used to meet him.
Oh how nice she used to treat him.
(Ta da, &c.)
They eloped, but they both were collared,
And the gang stood there and hollered:
"Don't raise a fuss,
You've got to take one of us!"

Oh by Gee, by Gosh, by Gum, by Jove
Oh! By Jingo, won't you take our love?
We will live out in a tent
Cheat the landlord of his rent
We'll have lots of little Jimminy Crickets
We can use them for meal tickets!
By Jingo said, Oh boys, won't you behave
You know I've put five husbands in the grave.
So they all went away singing
Oh by Gee, by Gosh, by Gum, by Jingo,
Oh by Gee! You're the only girl for me.

Oh by Gee by Gosh by Gum by Jove
Oh By Jingo won't you hear our love?
We will build for you a still
We'll make whiskey on the hill
We'll have a lot of little liquor beggars
They'll grow up to be bootleggers!
By Jingo said now boys, don't rave
You know I've put six husbands in the grave.
So they all went away singing
Oh by Gee, by Gosh, by Gum, by Jove, by Jingo;
Oh by Gee, you're not the girl for me.

Oh that Letty is a silly one. I don't know why she can't be serious like me. Take for instance this foray into my neverending battle for clearer communication.


Allan Sherman
»
Chim Chim Cheree


(parody of "Chim Chim Cheree" by Dick Van Dyke,
from the movie "Mary Poppins")
Chim chiminey, chim chiminey, chim-chim-cheree;
Those are three words that don't make sense to me.
But I'm used to words that don't make sense to me,
From all those commercials I see on TV.
When I see an ad that can't be understood
I know that the product has got to be good;
Those words may be crazy, but I think they're great,
Like sodium acetylsalicylate.
(Sodium acetylsalicylate!)
I wake up each morning a most happy man,
I cover my Pic-O-Pay with Fluoristan;
I add Hexachlorophene, 'cause it's so pure,
And then GL-70, just to make sure.
Then I take a shower, but never alone;
I'm in there with Dermasil and Silicone.
I brush Vitrol-D on my Lanolin wave,
And I sharpen my Boo-boop, and use it to shave!
(He sharpens his Boo-boop, and that's how he shaves!)
There's Tufsyn, and Retsyn, and Acrylan too,
And Marfac and Melmac and what else is new?
There's Orlon and Korlan, and there's Accutron,
And Teflon, and Ban-Lon, and so on and on.
These wonderful words spin around in my brain;
Each one is a mystery I cannot explain.
Like what does that Blue Magic whitener do --
Does it make blue things white, or make white things blue?
(His blue things are white, and his white things are blue!)
My Fastback has Wide-Track and Autronic Eye,
Which winks when a cute little Volvo goes by;
My tank full of Platformate starts with a roar,
But when I try to stop, it goes two miles more.
I measure my breathing with my Nasograph,
It's nice, but oh my, how it hurts when I laugh.
My chair is upholstered in real Naugahyde;
When they killed that nauga, I sat down and cried.
(He moved to Chicaga when that nauga died!)
I'm giving a party next Saturday night
And here are the friends that I'm going to invite:
The giant who lives in my washing machine,
That other nice giant, who's jolly and green.
The tiger who causes my gas tank to flood,
That handsome white knight who is stronger than crud;
The man with the eyepatch, who sells me my shirts
And that nut who flies into the front seat for Hertz!
(That daring young nut who goes flying for Hertz!)
I've lived all my life in this weird wonderland;
I keep buying things that I don't understand,
'Cause they promise me miracles, magic, and hope,
But, somehow, it always turns out to be soap.
And they might as well be Chim-Chiminey Cheree!
(Those words all could be Chim-Chiminey Cheree!)

Hilarious, Bob. Don't you just adore parodies, listeners? Homer and Jethro were among the greats, and, of course, Allan Sherman.

Can't resist Stan Freberg's politically correct song:

"Take An Indian To Lunch"

Take an Indian to lunch this week
Show him we're a regular bunch this week
Show him we're as liberal as can be
Let him know he's almost as good as we
Make a feathered friend feel fed this week
Overlook the fact he's red this week
Let him share our Quaker Oats
'Cause he's useful when he votes
Take an Indian to lunch
Two, four, six, eight, who do we tolerate
Indians, Indians, rah; rah; rah
Take an Indian to lunch this week
Let him sit right down and munch this week
Let's give in and all do the brotherhood bit
Just make sure we don't make a habit of it
Take an Indian to dine this week
Show him we don't draw the line this week
We know everyone can't be
As American as we
After all, we came over on the Mayflower
Take an Indian
Not a wooden Indian
But a real, live Indian
To lunch!

Good evening WA2K, tonight i'm going to dispense with my usual theme based show and spotlight a single band instead, Was (Not Was)

the history of the band is interesting and anyone wanting to know more can find a bio here Was (Not Was)

i'm going to let the songs speak for themselves

Somewhere In America There's A Street Named After My Dad

At night only crickets
No prowlers, no sirens
No pinky ring hustlers
No angel dust Byrons
No bars on the windows
No sabre-toothed neighbors
Just good simple folk
In a rainbow of flavors

Somewhere in America
There's a street named after my dad
And the home we never had

I'll work for Mr. Fowler
Making fifty cents an hour
And I'll save what I can
So I can get a piece of land
I'll raise some cows and carrots
Get ahead on my own merits
And if I fall I'll take it like a man

Somewhere in America
There's a street named after my dad
And the home we never had

No more bland TV dinners
No ten car collisions
No showbiz beginners
Making global decisions
No daycare Fellinis
No fast food assassins
No billboard bikinis
Just truth and compassion

Somewhere in America
There's a street named after my dad
And the home we never had
The home we never had somewhere in America


Wedding Vows In Vegas

Plastic flowers in her hair
Don't they make a lovely pair
Met last night at the slot machines
Him in leather, her in jeans
All night preacher does the ceremony
His wife throws Minute Rice
Her tears are phony

But wedding vows in Vegas
Aren't meant to last for ages
You've got to be courageous
To play the odds that love will win
Whatever city you're in

A Polaroid's an extra twenty
Shoot the works man, we've got plenty
Witness is another ten
Thanks a heap and come again
Buffet dinner, nothing but the best
And check into some strip love nest

But wedding vows in Vegas
Aren't meant to last for ages
You've got to be courageous
To play the odds that love will win
Whatever city you're in

How can this be?
Ice cold Chablis, cable TV
Continental breakfast free
Baby, then it's you and me
It's you

Buffet dinner, nothing but the best
And check into some strip love nest
But wedding vows in Vegas
Aren't meant to last for ages
You've got to be courageous
To play the odds that love will win
Whatever city you're in


Out Come The Freaks

Little Rita and her sister Bette
Met some mook who drove a purple Chevy
He took them for a ride one summer night
Told the girls he was a big producer
Truth be told he was a cheap seducer
He drove them to the hills to see the lights (Yeah, right)
Two days later they were reading him his rights
Woodwork squeaks and out come the freaks

Tara Venus was a rent-a-stripper
You could feast your eyes but you couldn't grip her
She went nowhere without Jack the Human Kife
He'd slice you silly if you got too friendly
If you value living better treat her gently
Once she does her sexy cha-cha let her go
She will tempt you but it's just part of the show
Woodwork squeaks and out come the freaks

Bobby Maggot was a big attorney
Through the courtroom down to hell he journeyed
Bald headed piece of garbage that he was
He'll defend you if your money's honest
Says he'll do his best but that's no promise
Off he goes in his Corvette to get a tan
Oh Lord I ask you what kind of beast is man?
Woodwork squeaks and out come the freaks

Woodwork squeaks and out come the freaks
Woodwork squeaks and out comes Trotsky
Out comes Trotsky, yeah
Woodwork squeaks and out comes Coltrane
Coltrane, Coltrane
Woodwork squeaks and out comes Che Guevara
Che Guevara, Che Guevara
Woodwork squeaks and out comes the Powell
Buddy Powell, Buddy Powell


How The Heart Behaves

She ran him over like a bus
But he seemed to feel no pain
Just laid there smiling
Like a flower in the rain
She shrunk his ego down so small
That he didn't even know his name
She knew no other way to love
That's how she played the game
But when he got her in a darkened room
In the still of the afternoon
He became her entire world
And she cried like a little girl

The line between pleasure and pain
Can't be measured by means of the brain
Mere reason alone can never explain
How the heart behaves

She wrapped her claws around him
Like a crab around a rock
It was baby this and baby that
She never let him talk
He couldn't see his shadow
She was always in the light
And if he moved she arched her back
And dug her claws in tight
But when he got her in a darkened room
In the still of the afternoon
He became her entire world
And she cried like a little girl

The line between pleasure and pain
Can't be measured by means of the brain
Mere reason alone can never explain
How the heart behaves

And they said that he'd break
How much more could he take
And just when you thought that he'd kill her
She gave him a kiss, it never missed

And then one day she ran away
With a guy she hardly knew
She left a note that said
I'm bored with me and you
He found another girl himself
A high-heeled hurricane
There was no calm inside her eyes
Just a promise of more of the same

The line between pleasure and pain
Could not be measured by means of the brain
Mere reason alone can never explain
How the heart behaves

That's how the heart behaves
The heart goes boom-boom
Take a listen


Maria Novarro

Maria called the police department
On a Sunday afternoon
"My husband's gonna kill me.
Please send somebody soon."
"Where is he, ma'am, is he at your door?
Has he got you now? Can you tell me more?"

In the city of angels there's no mercy
And there's no tomorrow for Maria Novarro
No tomorrow for Maria Novarro

"Please," she said, "his brother called,
He's on his way with a gun."
"Sorry ma'am, not good enough,
Why'd you dial 911?"
She knew he was mean, he'd hit her before
She hung up the phone and she locked the door

In the city of angels there's no mercy
And there's no tomorrow for Maria Novarro
No tomorrow for Maria Novarro

James Brown said it was a man's world
And women don't matter
A little slap, they'll claim they're battered
They're hysterical, emotional
And love will make them fall
Tomorrow she'll forget that it happened at all

"Domestic quarrels are routine
There's no need to waste a cop
Especially in that neighborhood
Those people never stop"
But her husband showed up just like she said
No one would listen, now Maria lays dead

In the city of angels there's no mercy
And there's no tomorrow for Maria Novarro
No tomorrow for Maria Novarro


11 Mph Abe Zapp Ruder Version

Lee Harvey O. didn't have no daddy
He never caught a break, he never drove a Caddy
Joined the Marines to learn a skill
And that he did, he learned how to kill

At eleven miles an hour
Such a deadly speed
Eleven miles an hour
At the time and place agreed
They pulled their limousine
Down Elm Street slow and clean
Lead fell like a shower
At eleven miles an hour

JFK went down to Dallas
To cool some heels in the oil palace
Unfriendly country, but he was not afraid
He would wave to the people
From a passing motorcade

At eleven miles an hour
Such a deadly speed
Eleven miles an hour
At the time and place agreed
They pulled their limousine
Down Elm Street slow and clean
Lead fell like a shower
At eleven miles an hour

JFK told Kruschev I'll leave Castro alone
If you take away those missles
They're too damn close to home
The CIA, the Cubans and the underworld bosses
Decided that was it, they had to cut their losses

At eleven miles an hour
Such a deadly speed
Eleven miles an hour
At the time and place agreed
They pulled their limousine
Down Elm Street slow and clean
Lead fell like a shower
At eleven miles an hour

Lee Harvey O. was made to order
A radical nut, a drifter and a boarder
Earl Warren got a version out fast
America was happy, the patsy had been cast

At eleven miles an hour
Such a deadly speed
Eleven miles an hour
At the time and place agreed
They pulled their limousine
Down Elm Street slow and clean
Lead fell like a shower
At eleven miles an hour
Eleven miles an hour


this last song is a reworking of the temptations, papa was a rolling stone, it contains two rap verses that are really well done and suited to the piece (in my humble oppinion)

Papa Was A Rollin' Stone

It was the third of September
That day I'll always remember, yes I will
'Cause that was the day that my daddy died
I never had a chance to see him
Never heard nothin' but bad things about him
Mama I'm depending on you to tell me the truth
Mama looked up and said son

Papa was a rolling stone
Wherever he laid his hat was his home
And when he died all he left us was alone

Where the hell are you daddy, that's what I'm sayin'
Down on my knees and tears and I'm prayin'
Wishing and hoping my dreams could come true
So I could feel like the other kids do
A young child but not complete as a whole
Before I was born you up and strolled
Mama was there but you was up in the wind
You never even knew my name and then
You never wrote, called, let alone came by
As a youth it was hard to wonder why
But now I'm older and I don't dwell on self pity
Thinking about the life you didn't give me
I remember when I used to tell lies
When people would ask I'd just fantasize
Thinking of stories to make you look good
But the real truth was you was never no good
People would say I looked just like you
But rest assured I don't act like you
I'm more than that, my mama raised me better
And you can best believe I'm much more together
So belive that

Mama is it true what they say
That papa never worked a day in his life?
And mama there's some bad talk goin' round town
That papa had three out-side children
And another wife, and that ain't right

Heard some talk about papa
Doin' some store-front prechin'
Talking about saving souls and all the time leaching
Dealin' in dirt and stealing in the name of the Lord
Mama looked up and said son

Papa was a rolling stone
Wherever he laid his hat was his home
And when he died all he left us was alone

It's been said you gave me something you never had
But that's not always true and it's sad
To find myself missing you when I did
But who knows the reasons why you did what you did
I can't help but wonder why
You lived your life as a big fat lie
You act like you had no responsibilities
'Cause if you did it's a bet that you wouldn't be
Stealin' beggin' hustlin' and schemin'
You could'a got a job
But did you know the meaning of work
I'm talking about an honest day's pay
But you was too lazy to be that way
Always trying to take the easy route
That's what they tell me, so I don't doubt
It for a moment, not for a sec
Because you lacked all your self respect
But it's too late for you that is
Tomorrow I'll be going on about my biz
And so it's time to put the past behind
Erase the anger and clear my mind
I want to forget the little bit I know
And make sure that I never sink so low
'Cause I want my kids to grow up and know
That I was always there because I loved them so
And that's the least thing that I can do
But that's a lot more than I got from you

I heard papa call himself a jack of all trades
Tell me is that what sent papa to an early grave?
Folks say papa would beg, borrow or steal
To pay his bills
Hey mama, folks say papa wasn't much on thinkin'
Spent most of his time chasing women and drinkin'
Mama I'm depending on you to tell me the truth

Papa was a rolling stone
Wherever he laid his hat was his home
And when he died all he left us was alone

some more allan sherman lunacy

Shticks Of One And Half A Dozen Of The Other

[parody of "Molly Malone"]
She wheels her wheelbarrow
Through streets that are narrow,
Her barrow is narrow, her hips are too wide.
So wherever she wheels it,
The neighborhood feels it,
Her girdle keeps scraping the homes on each side.

In Dublin's fair city,
Where girls are so pretty,
My Molly stands out 'cause she weighs 18 stone.
(That's 256 pounds.)
I dont mind her fat--but,
It's not only that--but,
She's cockeyed and muscle-bound, Molly Malone.

[parody of "Auld Lang Syne"]
I know a man, his name is Lang,
And he has a neon sign.
And Mister Lang is very old,
So they call it Old Lang's Sign.

[parody of "Billy Boy"]
Oh what have you done, Billy Sol, Billy Sol.
Oh what have you done, charming Billy.
You took almost every cent
From the U.S. Government,
Which you spent on fertilizer, which is silly.

[parody of "Marianne" by Terry Gilkyson & The Easy Riders]
All day, all night, Cary Grant.
That's all I hear from my wife, is Cary Grant.
What can he do that I can't?
Big deal, big star, Cary Grant.

[parody of "On The Banks Of The Wabash" by George J. Gaskin]
Oh the moon is bright tonight upon the car wash.
So I'm having my Volkswagen washed again.
But the way things go with me, the way my luck is,
Just as soon as they're finished, it will rain.

[parody of "On Top Of Old Smokey" by The Weavers]
On top of Old Smokey,
All covered with hair,
Of course I'm referring
To Smokey The Bear.

[parody of "Aura Lee"]
Every time you take vaccine,
Take it orally.
As you know the other way
Is more painfully.

[parody of "Grandfather's Clock" by The Haydn Quartet]
My grandfather's clock was the best ever made
By the Timex company.
Just like the clock John Cameron Swayze displayed
Last night on the old TV.

Oh it works under water so perfectly,
And still makes a ticking sound.
Which my grandfather tried only this afternoon,
And that's how the old man drowned.

[parody of "Comin' Thro' The Rye" by Nellie Melba]
Do not make a stingy sandwich.
Pile the cold cuts high.
Customers should see salami
Coming through the rye.

[parody of Stephen Foster's "Polly Wolly Doodle"]
Oh I diet all day and I diet all night,
It's enough to drive me bats.
Got no gravy or potatoes,
'Cause the whole refrigerator's
Fulla polyunsaturated fats.

Fare thee well, Metrecal,
And the others of that ilk.
Let the diet start tomorrow,
'Cause today I'll drown my sorrow
In a double malted milk.

[parody of "Down By The Riverside"]
When you go to the delicatessen store,
Don't buy the liverwurst.
Don't buy the liverwurst.
Don't buy the liverwurst.
I repeat what I just said before,
Don't buy the liverwurst.
Don't buy the liverwurst.

Oh buy the corned beef if you must,
The pickled herring you can trust,
And the lox puts you in orbit AOK.
But that big hunk of liverwurst
Has been there since October First,
And today is the Twenty-Third of May.

So when you go to the delicatessen store,
Don't buy the liverwurst.
Don't buy the liverwurst.
Don't buy the liverwurst.
It'll make your insides awful sore.
Don't buy the liverwurst.
Don't buy the liverwurst.

the history of the Shoshones and Ruby Valley is a very interesting look at the BIA/USA/Native American, I began writing a short essay on that issue a few years ago.

Yes, dys. We write and it makes us see ourselves in others.

A goodnight thought:

"The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth."

From Letty with love.

Running Bear
Johnny Preston

[Words and Music by J P Richardson (The Big Bopper)]
[Background sounds by Richardson and George Jones]


On the bank of the river
Stood Running Bear
Young Indian brave
On the other side of the river
Stood his lovely Indian maid
Little White Dove was her name
Such a lovely sight to see
But their tribes fought with each other
So their love could never be

Running Bear loved Little White Dove
With a love big as the sky
Running Bear loved Little White Dove
With a love that couldn't die

He couldn't swim the raging river
'Cause the river was too wide
He couldn't reach the Little White Dove
Waiting on the other side
In the moonlight he could see her
Throwing kisses 'cross the waves
Her little heart was beating faster
Waiting for her Indian brave

Running Bear loved Little White Dove
With a love big as the sky
Running Bear loved Little White Dove
With a love that couldn't die

Running Bear dove in the water
Little White Dove did the same
And they swam out to each other
Through the swirling stream they came
As their hands touched and their lips met
The raging river pulled them down
Now they'll always be together
In their happy hunting ground

Running Bear loved Little White Dove
With a love big as the sky
Running Bear loved Little White Dove
With a love that couldn't die

Hey, in the fast-moving world that is Radio WA2K, the best in the west, nobody guessed Fiona's song yet.

I'll give you one more day, or twelve hours cyber-time.

In Nineteen and fifty-nine we took a little hike
We took a little pizza and we took some sauerkraut

And we marched along together till we heard the Girl Scouts
Oh, we're the boys from Camp Cucamonga
Our mothers sent us here for to study Nature's ways
We learn to make sparks by rubbing sticks together
But if we catch the girls then we'll set the woods ablaze
(And I was mad 'cause me mother sent me up here - ha ha ha)

Well, we crept up to the water and we seen the girls a-swimmin'
There must have been a hunnered of them pretty young women
They looked so fine even birds forgot to sing

We laid down in the poison oak and didn't say a thing
Oh, we're the boys from Camp Cucamonga
Our mothers sent us here for to study Nature's ways
We learn to make sparks by rubbing sticks together
But if we catch the girls then we'll set the woods ablaze
(Hey, will one of you fellers scratch my back?)

If we didn't say a word till we looked 'em in the eyes
Well, our counselor said we could take 'em by surprise
We kept real still, and we had our eyes a-glued
We saw how they were dressed - they were swimming in the...

Well, now, we're the boys from Camp Cucamonga
Our mothers sent us here for to study Nature's ways
But if we catch the girls then we'll set the woods ablaze
We learn to make sparks by rubbing sticks together
Well, they ran through the briars and they ran through the

brambles
They ran so fast even we couldn't catch 'em
And they ran through the bushes where a rabbit couldn't go
>From Lake Aneekanike all the way to Buffalo

(Hey, fellers, wait for me!)
Well, we ran right after them till everyone was pooped
So we rested for a minute and our forces we regrouped
Then we saw the girls behind some evergreens

Captured by a company of United States Marines
Oh, we're the boys from Camp Cucamonga
Our mothers sent us here for to study Nature's ways
We learn to make sparks by rubbing sticks together
But if we catch the girls then we'll set the woods ablaze
(Ah, them big guys get everything!)

Well, they ran through the briars and they ran through the
And they ran through the bushes where a rabbit couldn't go
brambles
>From Lake Aneekanike all the way to Buffalo
They ran so fast even we couldn't catch 'em
(A rooty toot toot, a rooty toot toot

Oh, we are the boys from the Boy Scout troop
We don't smoke, and we don't chew
And we don't go with the girls that do


Homer and Jethro - The Battle of Cucamonga

Wednesday morning at five o'clock as the day begins
Silently closing her bedroom door
Leaving the note that she hoped would say more
She goes downstairs to the kitchen clutching her hankerchief
Quietly turning the backdoor key
Stepping outside she is free.
She (We gave her most of our lives)
Is leaving (Sacrificed most of our lives)
Home (We gave her everything money could buy)
She's leaving home after living alone
For so many years. Bye, bye
Father snores as his wife gets into her dressing gown
Picks up the letter that's lying there
Standing alone at the top of the stairs
She breaks down and cries to her husband
Daddy our baby's gone.
Why would she treat us so thoughtlessly
How could she do this to me.
She (We never thought of ourselves)
Is leaving (Never a thought for ourselves)
Home (We struggled hard all our lives to get by)
She's leaving home after living alone
For so many years. Bye, bye
Friday morning at nine o'clock she is far away
Waiting to keep the appointment she made
Meeting a man from the motor trade.
She (What did we do that was wrong?)
Is having (We didn't know it was wrong)
Fun (Fun is the one thing that money can't buy)
Something inside that was always denied
For so many years. Bye, bye
She's leaving home. Bye, bye

some poetic truth about liars, or some lying poetry about truth, hmmm

Liars' Bar
The Beautiful South
(Heaton/Rotheray)

Well sitting in a bar alone
where no-one knows your name
is like laying in a graveyard
wide awake
You're scared that if you cough or yawn
you might wake up the dead
So pretend to read a paper
or just drink instead

I'm a stand-up comedian
but I'd sit down if I could
The world just seems
to want folk like me to stand
And the punch-lines seem to disappear
like clouds across the sky
And the laughter could be real
or could be canned

Rum by the kettle drum
Whiskey by the jar
At Liar's Bar

Well living with a lying man
could never really hurt
But living with a drunk
well no-one deserves
And you're looking for your husband
you're not sure he's still alive
Don't bother with the cemetery
he'll be down at liar's dive

I'm a travelling businessman
I just stopped in for one drink
You'll find
that I'm not like the other men
Their noses are red
whilst mine is only pink
And they didn't choose their drink
their drink chose them

Rum by the kettle drum
Whiskey by the jar
At Liar's Bar

And the grave-digger's smiling
at his reflection in his spade
He's visiting the seediest
the shallowest of graves
The vocal chords of elephants
and the characters of mice
They're singing "whisky, whisky"
so good they named it twice

Well don't pass buildings with lights on
if I said that I did I'd have lied
'Cause what looks like a Chinese restaurant
may have Chinese New Year inside
And son all my life I've been searching
the bars I've been in I forget
The lights outside ever brighter
but a light on the inside not yet

Rum by the kettle drum
Whiskey by the jar
At Liar's Bar

And he's a world-wide traveller
he's not like me or you
But he comes in mighty regular
for one who's passing through
That one came in his work clothes
he's missed his last bus home
He's missed a hell of a lot of buses
for a man who wants to roam

If I look rough I am rough
If I look sad I am
If I look broke I am broke
Just a broke down piece of man

I've turned over enough leaves
to fill an autumn
and if I had one final wish
I'd be your slave for a decade
if you could take me away from this
If you took me away from this
I'd be different you'd see
'Cause I didn't choose the drink
a drink just chose me

Rum by the kettle drum
Whiskey by the jar
At Liar's Bar

Well I'm smoking like a chimney
And I'm drinking like a fish
At Liar's Bar