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The South

Kentucky:
>
> The owner of a golf course in Kentucky was confused about paying an
> invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical
> help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the
> University of Kentucky and I need some help. If I were to give you
> $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
>
> The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my earrings."
>
> You gotta love those Kentucky women.
> ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
> Alabama :
>
> A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in two's
> for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering
> under the weight of an eight-point buck.
>
> "Where's Henry?" the others asked."
>
> Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the
> trail," the successful hunter replied.
>
> "You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.
>
> "A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to
> steal Henry!"
> ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
> Louisiana:
>
> A senior at Louisiana was overheard saying... "When the end of the
> world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana."
> When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in Louisiana because
> everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the
> civilized world.
>
> ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *******
>
> Mississippi:
>
> The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to
> his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truc k from the
> parking lot!"
>
> Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?"
>
> The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."
>
> ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *******
>
> Tennessee:
>
> A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper
> asked, "Got any ID?"
>
> The driver replied, "Bout whut?"
>
> ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *******
>
> And My Favorite:
>
> A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the
> road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car
> and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.
>
> A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he
> turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.
>
> The man replied, "I have a flat tire."
>
> The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
>
> The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in
> the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither."
>
> ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********
>
> You can say what you want about the South, but you never hear of
> anyone retiring and moving north.

Hey, hawkman. Fantastic bio's today. Sent me to the archives once again to find stuff, but I think I'll await our speckled pup to do her thing.

Very, VERY funny Southern observations, Boston. I especially like this one.

Tennessee:

A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper
asked, "Got any ID?"

The driver replied, "Bout whut?"


I used to wonder why some folks said idea that way, then it occurred to me that it came from idee fixe.

Until our Raggedy arrives, let's listen to Aretha

Artist: Aretha Franklin
Song: (you make me feel like) a natural woman
]

Looking out on the morning rain
I used to feel so uninspired
And when I knew I had to face another day
Lord, it made me feel so tired
Before the day I met you, life was so unkind
But your the key to my peace of mind

Cause you make me feel,
you make me feel,
you make me feel like
A natural woman

When my soul was in the lost-and-found
You came along to claim it
I didn't know just what was wrong with me
'Til your kiss helped me name it
Now I'm no longer doubtful of what I'm living for
Because if I make you happy I don't need to do more

You make me feel,
you make me feel,
you make me feel like
A natural woman

Oh, baby, what you've done to me
Ooooh. You make me feel so good inside
Aaaaaa-nd I just want to be close to you
You make me feel so aliiiii-iiiii-iiiiiiive

you make me feel,
you make me feel,
you make me feel like
A natural woman

O the sisters of mercy they are not
Departed or gone,
They were waiting for me when I thought
That I just cant go on,
And they brought me their comfort
And later they brought me this song.
O I hope you run into them
You whove been traveling so long.

Yes, you who must leave everything
That you cannot control;
It begins with your family,
But soon it comes round to your soul.
Well, Ive been where youre hanging
I think I can see how youre pinned.
When youre not feeling holy,
Your loneliness says that youve sinned.

Well they lay down beside me
I made my confession to them.
They touched both my eyes
And I touched the dew on their hem.
If your life is a leaf
That the seasons tear off and condemn
They will bind you with love
That is graceful and green as a stem.

When I left they were sleeping,
I hope you run into them soon.
Dont turn on the light
You can read their address by the moon;
And you wont make me jealous
If I hear that they sweeten your night
We werent lovers like that
And besides it would still be all right
We werent lovers like that
And besides it would still be all right.

Leonard Cohen

Jerry Lee Lewis - Matchbox


I been sitting here wondering,
will a matchbox hold my clothes
I been sitting here wondering,
will a matchbox hold my clothes
Ain't got no matches, but I got a long way to go

I'm an old poor boy, ain't got no home
Yes, I'm an old poor boy, and I'm a long,
long, long way from home
Everything I do certainly turns out mighty wrong


Well, if you don't like my peaches, honey,
please don't shake my tree
If you don't like Jerry's peaches,
don't fool around on his tree
I got news for you, baby, I'll leave you here in misery

Yes, I'm sitting here wondering,
will a matchbox hold my clothes
Oh! I'm sitting here wondering,
will a matchbox hold my clothes
Ain't got no matches, but I got a long way to go

Bobby Darin Lyrics

18 Yellow Roses


Eighteen yellow roses came today
Eighteen yellow roses in a pretty bouquet
When the boy came to the door
I didn't know what to say
But, eighteen yellow roses came today.

I opened up the card to see what it said
I couldn't believe my eyes
When I had read
Though you belong to another I love you anyway
Yes, eighteen yellow roses came today.

I never doubted your love for a minute
I always thought that you would be true
But now this box and the flowers in it
I guess there's nothin' left for me to do.

But ask to meet the boy that's done this thing
And find out if he's got plans to buy you a ring
'cause eighteen yellow roses
Will wilt and die one day ...

But... a father's love will never fade away
Will never fade away...

Hot chili peppers in the blistering sun
Dust on my face and my cape,
Me and Magdalena on the run
I think this time we shall escape.

Sold my guitar to the baker's son
For a few crumbs and a place to hide,
But I can get another one
And I'll play for Magdalena as we ride.

No llores, mi querida
Dios nos vigila
Soon the horse will take us to Durango.
Agarrame, mi vida
Soon the desert will be gone
Soon you will be dancing the fandango.

Past the Aztec ruins and the ghosts of our people
Hoofbeats like castanets on stone.
At night I dream of bells in the village steeple
Then I see the bloody face of Ramon.

Was it me that shot him down in the cantina
Was it my hand that held the gun?
Come, let us fly, my Magdalena
The dogs are barking and what's done is done.

No llores, mi querida
Dios nos vigila
Soon the horse will take us to Durango.
Agarrame, mi vida
Soon the desert will be gone
Soon you will be dancing the fandango.

At the corrida we'll sit in the shade
And watch the young torero stand alone.
We'll drink tequila where our grandfathers stayed
When they rode with Villa into Torreon.

Then the padre will recite the prayers of old
In the little church this side of town.
I will wear new boots and an earring of gold
You'll shine with diamonds in your wedding gown.

The way is long but the end is near
Already the fiesta has begun.
The face of God will appear
With His serpent eyes of obsidian.

No llores, mi querida
Dios nos vigila
Soon the horse will take us to Durango.
Agarrame, mi vida
Soon the desert will be gone
Soon you will be dancing the fandango.

Was that the thunder that I heard?
My head is vibrating, I feel a sharp pain
Come sit by me, don't say a word
Oh, can it be that I am slain?

Quick, Magdalena, take my gun
Look up in the hills, that flash of light.
Aim well my little one
We may not make it through the night.

No llores, mi querida
Dios nos vigila
Soon the horse will take us to Durango.
Agarrame, mi vida
Soon the desert will be gone
Soon you will be dancing the fandango.

Romance in Durango
Bob Dylan

Good afternoon.

Some birthday celebs:

There's that pup, folks, with a trio of famous faces. Thanks again, PA.

There is Ed, Sr., (not certain who the pretty blonde is), Aretha, and Paul.

Hey, Texas. Thanks for the great songs. As I said, you and dj have quite a repertoire. Especially like your Bobby song, buddy.

Since I really like Bobby Darin, let's hear one by him.

In my loneliness

When I'm all by myself

And I miss your sweet caress

I just think of you

And the thought of you holding me near

Makes my loneliness soon disappear.



Though you're far away

I have only to close these eyes

And you are here to stay

So I just close these eyes

And the sadness that missing you brings

Soon is gone and this heart of mine sings.



Yes I love you so

And that for me is all I need to know.



I will wait for you

Till the sun falls from out the sky

For what else can I do?

I will wait for you

Meditating how sweet life will be

When you come back to me.



If it takes forever

I will wait for you

For a thousand summers

I'll wait for you

Till you're here beside me

Till I'm touching you …



Meditating how sweet life is gonna be

When you come back to me.

MorgenIvo Robic & The Songmasters

[Music by Peter Mosser]

Morgen, Morgen
Uuuuuuuuuuu
Morgen, Morgen
Lacht uns wieder das Glück
Gestern, gestern
Liegt schon so weit zurück
War es auch eine schöne schöne Zeit
Morgen (Morgen), Morgen (Morgen)
Sind wir wieder dabei
Gestern (gestern) gestern (gestern)
Ist uns heut einerlei
War es auch eine schöne schöne Zeit
Sind wir heut auch arm und klein
Sind wir heut auch ohne Sonnenschein
Sind wir heut auch noch allein
Aber Morgen, Morgen, Morgen, Morgen, Morgen

Morgen, Morgen
Lacht uns wieder das Glück
Morgen, Morgen
Kommt die schöne Zeit zu uns zurück

---- Instrumental Interlude ----


Morgen (Morgen) Morgen (Morgen)
Wird das alles vergehen
Morgen (Morgen) Morgen (Morgen)
Wird das Leben endlich wieder schön

************************************

One More Sunrise (Morgen)
Leslie Uggams

[English lyrics by Noel Sherman]

(One more sunrise)

One more sunrise
One more day to get through
One more sunrise
One more day without you
And those lips that I knew could never be true

One more (one more) sunrise (sunrise)
Now the heartaches begin
Wond'rin' (wond'rin') wand'rin' (wand'rin')
Through the places we've been
Hopin' that I can keep my sunny-side grin

Though our love is dead and gone
In my heart it still lives on and on
Feel like some poor dyin' swan
Tired of flyin', tryin', day by day I'm dyin'

One more sunrise
One more day we're apart
One more sunrise
One more daybreak for a breakin' heart

One more sunrise
One more daybreak for a brea-a-kin' hear-ear-ear

Look At Miss Ohio
Gillian Welch

Oh me oh my oh, look at Miss Ohio
She's a-running around with her rag-top down
She says I wanna do right but not right now

Gonna drive to Atlanta and live out this fantasy
Running around with the rag-top down
Yeah I wanna do right but not right now

Had your arm around her shoulder, a regimental soldier
An' mamma starts pushing that wedding gown
Yeah you wanna do right but not right now

Oh me oh my oh, would ya look at Miss Ohio
She's a-runnin' around with the rag-top down
She says I wanna do right but not right now

I know all about it, so you don't have to shout it
I'm gonna straighten it out somehow
Yeah I wanna do right but not right now

Oh me oh my oh, look at Miss Ohio
She a-runnin' around with her rag-top down
She says I wanna do right , but not right now
Oh I wanna do right but not right now

Great song, edgar, and replete with translation. (German, I guess)

Completely missed Bob's alert about Elton John. Always have liked his stuff. So, speaking of sunrise, let's hear this one from Sir Elton.

Elton and Bernie


Outside I can hear the fireworks
Beyond the paper walls
Where the symbols painted black and white
Run together when the rain falls
And the wind chimes across kyoto
Each time the earth moves
Was it the quake that shook me
Or was it something to do with you

And the hot wind heats the bamboo blinds
And your almond eyes always shine
Sitting cool behind your painted fan
All the secrets of the east
Conceal the beauty and the beast
For tender is the man in her japanese hands

Flesh on silk looks different
Than on a cotton sheet back home
Where no one wears their hair like yours
Beneath those oriental combs
And with your thirsty fingers
Running up and down my spine
You forget the western woman
When youre sleeping on kyoto time

And the sky explodes
And the moon grows cold
To the distant sound of drums
And the sky explodes
And the moon grows cold
As the dragons on the mainland
Wait to heat the sun.

Incidentally, folks, there was a major earthquake in Japan.

Damn, you Canucks are quick. So it's Miss Ohio now, dj? Those beauty queens are something else.

Speaking of queens, how about one by them.

Don't touch me now
Don't hold me now
Don't break the spell darling
Now you are near
Look in my eyes and speak to me
The special promises I long to hear

Las palabras de amor
Let me hear the words of love
Despacito mi amor
Love me slow and gently

One foolish world so many souls
Senselessly hurled through
The never ending cold
And all for fear and all for greed
Speak any tongue
But for God's sake we need

Las palabras de amor
Let me hear the words of love
Despacito mi amor
Let me know this night and evermore

This room is bare
This night is cold
We're far apart and I'm growing old
But while we live
We'll meet again
So then my love
We may whisper once more
It's you I adore

Las palabras de amor
Let me hear the words of love
Despacito mi amor
Touch me now
Las palabras de amor
Let us share the words of love
For evermore evermore
For evermore

I Was Made To Love Her
Stevie Wonder

[Lyrics and Music by Stevie Wonder
Henry Cosby, Lula Mae Hardaway and Sylvia Moy]

I was born in Lil' Rock
Had a childhood sweetheart
We were always hand in hand

I was hightop shoes and shirt tails
Suzy was in pig tails
I know I loved her even then

You know my papa disapproved it
My mama boohooed it
But I told them time and time again
Don't you know I was made to love her
Built a world all around her
Yah! Hey, hey, hey

She's been my inspiration
Showed appreciation
For the love I gave her through the years

Like a sweet magnolia tree
My love blossmed tenderly
My life grew sweeter through the years

I know that my baby loves me,
My baby needs me,
That's why we made it through the years.

I was made to love her
Worship and adore her
Hey, hey, hey

All through thick and thin
Our love just won't end
'Cause I love my baby
Love my baby, ah

My baby loves me
My baby needs me
And I know I ain't going nowhere

I was knee high to a chicken
When that love bug bit me
I had the fever with each passing year

Oh, even if the mountain tumbles
If this whole world crumbles
By her side I'll still be standing there

'Cause I was made to love her
I was made to live for her, yeah

Ah, I was made to love her
Built my world all around her
Hey, hey, hey.

Oo baby, I was made to please her
You know Stevie ain't gonna leave her, no
Hey, hey, hey

Oo wee baby, my baby loves me
My baby needs me
Hey, hey, hey

Ooo, my baby loves me....

Stevie is a wonder, edgar, and thanks for the reminder.

My bedtime folks.



and though I no longer believe in faries, it doesn't hurt to look at one. <smile>

"....guide me safely through the night; wake me with the morning's light..."

From Letty with love

Only fairy I believe in is Tinker Bell.

The Mighty Quinn

[Words and Music by Bob Dylan]

Come all without, come all within
You'll not see nothing like the Mighty Quinn
Come all without, come all within
You'll not see nothing like the Mighty Quinn

Everybody's building ships and boats
Some are building monuments
Others are jotting down notes
Everybody's in despair, every girl and boy
But when Quinn the Eskimo gets here
Everybody's gonna jump for joy

Come all without, come all within
You'll not see nothing like the Mighty Quinn

I like to go just like the rest
I like my sugar sweet
But jumping queues and makin' haste
Just ain't my cup of meat
Everyone's beneath the trees
Feedin' pigeons on a limb
But when Quinn the Eskimo gets here
All the pigeons gonna run to him

Come all without, come all within
You'll not see nothing like the Mighty Quinn
Come all without, come all within
You'll not see nothing like the Mighty Quinn

Let me do what I wanna do
I can't decide 'em all
Just tell me where to put 'em
And I'll tell you who to call
Nobody can get no sleep
There's someone on everyone's toes
But when Quinn the Eskimo gets here
Everybody's gonna wanna doze

Come all without, come all within
You'll not see nothing like the Mighty Quinn
Come all without, come all within
You'll not see nothing like the Mighty Quinn
Come all without, come all within
You'll not see nothing like the Mighty Quinn
Come all without, come all within
You'll not see nothing like the Mighty Quinn

Ah, edgar, poor tinkerbell. She succumbed to the sound of one hand clapping.



Didn't Denzel Washington star in a movie entitled The Mighty Quinn? Don't recall his having been an eskimo.

Salute to the men for this Monday:

Stout-Hearted Men


You who have dreams,
If you act, they will come true.
To turn your dream to a fact
It's up to you.
If you have the soul and the spirit,
Never fear it, you'll see it through.
Hearts can inspire other hearts with their fire,
For the strong obey when a strong man
Shows them the way.

Give me some men who are stout-hearted men
Who will fight for the right they adore.
Start me with ten, who are stout-hearted men
And I'll soon give you ten thousand more.

Oh! Shoulder to shoulder and bolder and bolder
They grow as they go to the fore!
Then there's nothing in the world can halt or mar a plan,
When stout-hearted men can stick together man to man!


Sigmund Romberg/Oscar Hammerstein II

Thought for the day.

There is no such thing as unrequited love.

In the officially sanctioned sequel to Peter Pan, Tinker Bell is replaced by a boy fairy.
Peter Pan in Scarlet

Well, my goodness, edgar. A male tinker? So, here's an answer from Harry:

Scarlet Ribbons

I peeked in to say good-night
And there I heard my child in prayer
"And for me, some scarlet ribbons
Scarlet ribbons for my hair"

All our town was closed and shuttered
All the streets were dark and bare
In our town, no scarlet ribbons
Scarlet ribbons for "his"hair

Through the night my heart was aching
Just before the dawn was breaking
In our town, no scarlet ribbons
Scarlet ribbons for "his" hair

I peeked in and on "his" bed
In gay profusion lying there
Lovely ribbons, scarlet ribbons
Scarlet ribbons for "his"hair

If I live to be a hundred
I will never know from where
Came those lovely scarlet ribbons
Scarlet ribbons for "his" hair

recorded by Harry Belafonte

and, listeners, here's an answer to Stout Hearted Men by Garrison Keillor

Give me some guys who can bake cakes and pies
And launder and vacuum and clean.
Start me with ten who can cook now and then
And manage a washing machine.

Scrubbing and kneeling,
In touch with their feelings,
They grow as they go to the store.

O there's nothing in the world
That they won't do for you.
Caring sensitive
The men you find here at Purdue.
Caring sensitive
The men you find here at Purdue.