WA2K Radio is now on the air

Nathaniel Hawthorne wrote: "[Thoreau] is as ugly as sin, long-nosed, queer-mouthed, and with uncouth and rustic, though courteous manners, corresponding very well with such an exterior. But his ugliness is of an honest and agreeable fashion, and becomes him much better than beauty."[3]

Thoreau studied at Harvard between 1833 and 1837. He lived in Hollis Hall and took courses in rhetoric, classics, philosophy, mathematics, and science. Legend states that Thoreau refused to pay the five-dollar fee for a Harvard diploma. In fact, the Masters' degree he declined to purchase had no academic merit: Harvard College offered it to graduates "who proved their physical worth by being alive three years after graduating, and their saving, earning, or inheriting quality or condition by having Five Dollars to give the college" (Thoreau's Diploma). His comment was: "Let every sheep keep its own skin."
Thoreau was famous for saying: "Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it."

Thanks, dys, for that vignette of Emerson.

A poem by him:


ETIENNE DE LA BOECE

I SERVE you not, if you I follow,
Shadowlike, o'er hill and hollow;
And bend my fancy to your leading,
All too nimble for my treading.
When the pilgrimage is done,
And we're the landscape overrun,
I am bitter, vacant, thwarted,
And your heart is unsupported.
Vainly valiant, you have missed
The manhood that should yours resist,?-
Its complement; but if I could,
In severe or cordial mood,
Lead you rightly to my altar,
Where the wisest Muses falter,
And worship that world-warming spark
Which dazzles me in midnight dark,
Equalizing small and large,
While the soul it doth surcharge,
Till the poor is wealthy grown,
And the hermit never alone,?-
The traveller and the road seem one
With the errand to be done,?-
That were a man's and lover's part,
That were Freedom's whitest chart.

Jacob Burckhardt (May 25, 1818, Basel, Switzerland - August 8, 1897, Basel) was a Swiss historian of art and culture, fields which he helped found. "The great discoverer of the age of the Renaissance, he first showed how a period should be treated in its entirety, with regard not only for its painting, sculpture and architecture, but for the social institutions of its daily life as well."
Burkhardt's historical writings did much to establish art history as an academic discipline, and also have literary value in their own right. His innovative approach to historical research emphasized the value of culture and art when analyzing the social and political trends underlying historical events.

In 1838 he made his first journey to Italy, and published his first important articles, Bemerkungen über schweizerische Kathedralen ("Remarks about Swiss Cathedrals"). In 1847 he brought out new editions of Kugler's two great works, Geschichte der Malerei and Kunstgeschichte, and in 1853 published his own work, Die Zeit Constantins des Grossen ("The Age of Constantine the Great"). He spent the greater part of the years 1853-1854 in Italy, collecting materials for his 1855 Der Cicerone: Eine Anleitung zum Genuss der Kunstwerke Italiens (7th German edition, 1899), also dedicated to Kugler. This work, "the finest travel guide that has ever been written"[2]which covered sculpture and architecture, as well as painting, became an indispensable guide to the art traveller in Italy.

About half of the original edition was devoted to the art of the Renaissance. Thus Burckhardt was naturally led to write the two books for which he is best known, his 1860 Die Cultur der Renaissance in Italien ("The Civilization of the Renaissance in Italy") (English translation, by SGC Middlemore, in 2 vols., London, 1878), and his 1867 Geschichte der Renaissance in Italien ("The History of the Renaissance in Italy"). The Civilization of the Renaissance in Italy was the most influential interpretation of the Italian Renaissance in the 19th century and is still widely read. Burckhardt and the German historian George Voigt founded the historical study of the Renaissance. In contrast to Voigt, who confined his studies to early Italian humanism, Burckhardt dealt with all aspects of Renaissance society.

Burkhardt considered the study of ancient history an intellectual necessity and was a highly respected scholar of Greek civilization. "The Greeks and Greek Civilization" sums up of the relevant lectures, "Griechische Kulturgeschichte", which Burckhardt first gave in 1872 and which he repeated until 1885. At his death, he was working on a four-volume survey of Greek civilization.

Friedrich Nietzsche, appointed professor of classical philology at Basel in 1869 at the age of 24, admired Burckhardt and attended some of his lectures. Nietzsche believed Burckhardt agreed with the thesis of his The Birth of Tragedy, namely that Greek culture was defined by opposing "Apollinian" and "Dyonisian" tendencies. Nietzsche and Burkhardt enjoyed each other's intellectual company, even as Burckhardt kept his distance from Nietzsche's evolving philosophy. Their extensive corresponded over a number of years has been published. Burckhardt's student Heinrich Wölfflin succeeded him at the University of Basel at the age of only twenty-eight.
He was also amply aware of the rapid political and economic changes taking place in the Europe of his day, commenting in his lectures and writings on the Industrial Revolution, the European political upheavals of his day, and the growing European nationalism and militarism. Events amply fulfilled his prediction of a cataclysmic 20th century, in which violent demagogues (whom he called "terrible simplifiers") would play central roles. Burckhardt the prophetic pessimist and cautious liberal, the German language counterpart to Tocqueville and Lord Acton, and the author of three volumes reprinted by the Liberty Fund, has some following among contemporary conservative political and moral philosophers.

My, my, folks. Today we are listening to the historian/philosopher cowboy.

Is this he, dys?



I'm afraid that I am not familiar with the man.

thank you for the song ms letty

unfortunately my b'day song to day is

Heigh-Ho

We dig dig dig dig dig dig dig in our mine the
whole day through
To dig dig dig dig dig dig dig is what we really like to do
It ain't no trick to get rich quick
If you dig dig dig with a shovel or a pick
In a mine! In a mine! In a mine! In a mine!
Where a million diamonds shine!

We dig dig dig dig dig dig dig from early morn till night
We dig dig dig dig dig dig dig up everything in sight
We dig up diamonds by the score
A thousand rubies, sometimes more
But we don't know what we dig 'em for
We dig dig dig a-dig dig

Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho
Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho
Heigh-ho

[Chorus]
Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho
It's home from work we go
[Whistle]

Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho

[Chorus]

eigh-ho, Heigh-ho
[Whistle]

Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho
Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho
Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho
Heigh-ho hum

[Chorus three times]

Heigh-ho [until fade]

Birthday -- Beatles

You say it's your birthday
It's my birthday too--yeah
They say it's your birthday
We're gonna have a good time
I'm glad it's your birthday
Happy birthday to you.

Yes we're going to a party party
Yes we're going to a party party
Yes we're going to a party party.

I would like you to dance--Birthday
Take a cha-cha-cha-chance-Birthday
I would like you to dance--Birthday
Dance

You say it's your birthday
Well it's my birthday too--yeah
You say it's your birthday
We're gonna have a good time
I'm glad it's your birthday
Happy birthday to you.

You are most welcome, dj. Love that song, Canada, and thank god you ain't no snow white.

Hey, ticomaya. Welcome back. See what a birthday can do? Hey, it's not really your birthday is it?

Well, folks, We have backstreet boys, so how about an uptown girl:

Billy Joel:

Uptown girl
She's been living in her uptown world
I bet she's never had a backstreet guy
I bet her momma never told her why

I'm gonna try for an uptown girl
She's been living in her white bread world
As long as anyone with hot blood can
And now she's looking for a downtown man
That's what I am

And when she knows what
She wants from her time
And when she wakes up
And makes up her mind

She'll see I'm not so tough
Just because
I'm in love with an uptown girl
You know I've seen her in her uptown world
She's getting tired of her high class toys
And all her presents from her uptown boys
She's got a choice

Uptown girl
You know I can't afford to buy her pearls
But maybe someday when my ship comes in
She'll understand what kind of guy I've been
And then I'll win

And when she's walking
She's looking so fine
And when she's talking
She'll say that she's mine

She'll say I'm not so tough
Just because
I'm in love
With an uptown girl
She's been living in her white bread world
As long as anyone with hot blood can
And now she's looking for a downtown man
That's what I am

Uptown girl
She's my uptown girl
You know I'm in love
With an uptown girl

Speaking of up town girl, I wonder where our Raggedy is?

Here's Helen, anyway:

hi , everyone !
back on the air after ten days of network trouble .
trying to make up for lost time - airtime that is :wink:
hbg

Artist/Band: Williams Don
Lyrics for Song: Good Ole Boys Like Me

When I was a kid Uncle Remus he put me to bed
With a picture of Stonewall Jackson above my head
Then daddy came in to kiss his little man
With gin on his breath and a Bible in his hand
He talked about honor and things I should know
Then he'd stagger a little as he went out the door

CHORUS:
I can still hear the soft Southern winds in the live oak trees
And those Williams boys they still mean a lot to me
Hank and Tennessee
I guess we're all gonna be what we're gonna be
So what do you do with good ole boys like me

Nothing makes a sound in the night like the wind does
But you ain't afraid if you're washed in the blood like I was
The smell of cape jasmine thru the window screen
John R. and the Wolfman kept me company
By the light of the radio by my bed
With Thomas Wolfe whispering in my head

When I was in school I ran with kid down the street
But I watched him burn himself up on bourbon and speed
But I was smarter than most and I could choose
Learned to talk like the man on the six o'clock news
When I was eighteen, Lord, I hit the road
But it really doesn't matter how far I go

Well, folks. There's our hamburger. Glad you're back on the air, Canada.

Good old boys, huh. Remember this one, buddy?


Lyrics for Song: Not Bad For A Good Ole Boy
Lyrics for Album: Dusty Drake

He was never voted "Most Likely to Succeed"
But still he married Tammy Bell, the prettiest girl in all of Knox County
And his uncle got him on at Thompson's Tool and Die
And now he's a foreman and he's home each night by five

Not Bad for a farmer's son
Pretty good for where he comes from
He's got a house full of love and a yard full of kids
A car, a truck, a fishin' boat and a dozen best friends
And he ain't the richest man in Illinois
But not bad, not bad for a good ole boy

He got his picture in the paper right on the front page
He's smilin' with a nine-point buck he took on openin' day
Just last summer he bulit a deck on the house
And a fiew the family down to Florida to meet Mickey Mouse

Not Bad for a farmer's son
Pretty good for where he comes from
He's got a house full of love and a yard full of kids
A car, a truck, a fishin' boat and a dozen best friends
And he ain't the richest man in Illinois
But not bad, not bad for a good ole boy

Well he's a little league coach and a junior college grad
A volunter fireman and a full-time dad

Not Bad for a farmer's son
Pretty good for where he comes from
He's got a house full of love and a yard full of kids
A car, a truck, a fishin' boat and a dozen best friends
And he ain't the richest man in Illinois
But not bad, not bad for a good ole boy

Christmas Dragnet
Stan Freberg & Daws Butler

This is the season.
My name's Wednesday.
My partner's Frank Jones.
The Chief's name is Captain Kellogg.

December the 24th, Christmas Eve.
They brought in a guy named 'Grudge'.
When I heard what they booked him on, my blood ran cold.
It was a 4096325- 096704: not believing in Santa Claus.

4:35 p.m.
I was working the holiday watch out of homicide with Frank.

"Hang up your stocking yet, Joe?"

"Yeah, just before I come down. You too Frank?"

"Alway do.
Hung it up early just in case I have'ta work late tonight.
Wouldn't wanna miss out on when Santa Claus comes you know. "

"Sure wouldn't, be a shame."

"Whatcha gonna do tomorrow, Joe?
Whatcha gonna do on Christmas, got any plans?"

"Nothin' much."

"Why don't you come by the house Joe?
We're gonna have Christmas dinner.
You know, all the trimmings:
turkey, celery stuffing, oysters maybe.
Chestnuts, all the trimmings, you know.
Cranberry sauce, love'ta have ya.
The Missus always fixes a plate of relish
with them little carrot sticks.
You know, olives, pickles, scallions.
Most people call them green onions, but they're really scallions.
Did you ever notice that Joe?"

"Notice what Frank?"

"How most people call them green onions but they're really scallions."

"Uh-huh. Scallions."

"Anytime after two, Joe. Love ta have ya."

"Uh-huh. Well I'll see."

"Love ta have ya."

"Uh-huh. Well, I'll see."

"Love ta have ya."

"Uh-huh. Well, I'll see."

"Missus always fixes a plate of relish with them little carrot sticks.
You know - olives, pickles, scallions."

"Uh-huh. Let's not go through that again."

"Go through what, Joe?"

"How most people call them green onions but they're really scallions."

"Oh, you noticed that too, huh Joe?"


Homicide; Wednesday.

"Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh."

"'s matter Joe? 's matter Joe?"

"Bringing a guy in on a 409635-096704:
guy don't believe in scallions, I mean Santa Claus."

6:29 p.m.
We questioned the guy didn't believe in Santa Claus.
Guy named Grudge.

"Says here you're name's Grudge, that right?"

"Yeah!"

"Says here you didn't believe in Santa Claus.
Hard to believe what you said, did you really say that?"

"Sure I said it. How do you know there's a Santa Claus?
Ya got a picture of him?"

"No, no mug shots."

"Any fingerprints?"

"Uh-uh, no latent prints. I just know, that's all.
Like saying there's no Easter bunny."

"That's another guy there ain't no of."

"What's your story, Mister?"

"Joe, he just said that to make me feel bad, didn't he?
There really is an Easter bunny, isn't there Joe?"

"Listen Grudge, didn't I pick you up three years ago
on a 1492; for not believing in Columbus?"

"Yeah! I don't believe in Cleveland or Cincinatti either."

"How about Toledo?"

"I ain't made up my mind yet about Toledo."

"O.K. Mister. I get the picture now.
You don't believe in nothin' - do ya?"

"Nothin'! And you wanna know somethin' else?"

"What's that?"

"I'm gonna get up and walk right out of this room
'cause you guys ain't got nothin' on me.
There ain't no law against not believin' in Santa Claus."

"There is in my book. Let me tell you somethin' Mister.
I'm gonna prove there's a Santa Claus if it takes me
all night."

"Huh! Pretty funny. The police department's got
nothin ta do."

"Let me straighten you out buddy; this one's on
Frank and me, right Frank?
Right Frank?"

"There really is an Easter bunny, isn't there Joe?
You know, hippity hopping down the bunny trail?"

I took Grudge over to the helicopter.
Got in, flew around the city for hours.

I showed him department stores.
"What's hurryin' in and out of those department stores, Grudge?"

"Happy people, but I ain't impressed."

I showed him stockings.
"How are those stockings hung, Grudge?"

"By the chimney with care; but I didn't hang none up."

I showed him children nestled all snug in their beds.
"What's dancing in their heads, Grudge?"

"Visions of sugar plums, but you ain't sellin' me.
There ain't no Santa Claus."

He still didn't believe.
There was only one thing left to do.
My job? Get to the North Pole.
I set the plane down, we walked over to
Santy's workshop, rang the bell.

"Pardon me, sir?
Can I ask you a few questions?"

"Why sure. Just tickle me to death."

"What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a Brownie."

"What are you doing at the North Pole
with a southern accent?"

"Well, the boss sorta ran short of help
this year, so he had to recruit a few of
us Brownies from the South Pole."

"Uh-huh. That figures."

"What a waste of time!"

"Could we talk to your boss, please?"

"Oh, he's out. You would have to come on
the one night he's out on the whole year."

"What's your particular job, Mr. Brownie?"

"My boss has eight tiny reindeer. My job - feed 'em."

"Yes sir. What do 'ya feed 'em?"

"Well, most times I fix up a little plate of relish:
olives, pickles and them little carrot sticks.
You know, them little ol' carrot sticks?"

"Uh-huh."

"And scallions."

"Most folks call them green onions, but
they're really scallions."

"How do you know?"

"Just a stab in the dark."

The little man showed us through the workshop.

"My boss'll be back for a second load pretty soon.
Say, would you all like to hear an interestin' story?"

"Yes, sir."

"Do you see that HUGE pile of presents over there?"

"Uh-huh."

"Man, look at all that stuff."

"Would you believe it?
They're all for the same man.
Been pilin' up here, year after year."

"Why didn't they guy ever get 'em?"

"Yeah! Why?"

"'Cause he didn't believe in my boss.
You know the rules."

"Uh-huh. We know."

"I don't suppose that there's no chance
that this guy can still ...?"

"Get the presents? Oh sure.
He gets them all the minute he believes.
But I don't suppose he ever will."

"Too bad about that guy.
What's his name?"

"Don't say it. I don't want to hear it."

"Come on, Mr. Brownie.
What's his name?"

"His name? Grudge."

The Brownie saw us to the door.
Wished us a Merry Christmas.
We were heading back to the plane
when it happened.

"Hey!"

"Yeah, Grudge?"

"You know that guy I said I didn't believe in?"

"Who's that?"

"S-S-S-Santy Claus?"

"Yes, sir?"

"You think I'm too old to change my mind?"

"You're never too old, Mr. Grudge."

"Well then, I-I believe in Santy Claus.
And Columbus."

"How about Cincinatti.
And Cleveland.
And the Easter Bunny?"

"Yeah, them too."

"And Toledo?"

"I-I still ain't made up my mind about Toledo."

"Look Grudge. Up in the sky.
He's coming back for the second load."

"It's Santy Claus! It's Santy Claus!"

"There's the only guy I know can make
everybody happy in one night."

"Yeah. He must have the biggest heart
in the whole world."

"Yeah. That's about the size of it!"

Drinkin' On The Job


The farmer he got plowed
The bricklayer got plastered
The mechanic he got tanked
The construction worker got blasted
And Daddy beat up Mommy and broke her collarbone for good luck
Everybody's drunk
Everybody's wasted
Everybody's drinkin' on the job

The garbageman got trashed
The janitor got messy
The taxi driver got smashed
The waitress she got tipsy
In Kansas City, New York City
Great big city, itty-bitty city
Everybody's drunk
Everybody's wasted
Everybody's drinkin' on the job

There's a whole lot of places that I ain't been
A whole lotta things that I ain't seen
A whole lotta things I'll never be
The generation that would change the world
Is still looking for it's car keys

The terorist got bombed
The President got hit
Security was tight
The Secret Service got lit
F.B.I.
C.I.A.
D.W.I.
U.S.A.
Everybody's drunk
Everybody's wasted
Everybody's stoned
And there's nothing that's gonna change it
'Cause everybody's drunk
Everybody's wasted
Everybody's drinkin' on the job

Good morning, WA2K listeners and contributors.

edgar, Stan Freberg is one of the funniest guys that I have ever heard. Thanks for reminding me of his fantastic satires, Texas.

dj, I hope you have a wonderful lunch today and enjoy your Chinese. Incidentally, Canada. I love the way you say, "got drunk." Neat song, and thanks.

Here's another funny song, folks, to the tune of "Oh, Christmas Tree."

Oh Maryland
We've got some hills, we've got some trees,
We sing in four-part harmonies;
There's shopping malls and city halls,
And cats and dogs and ponds with frogs;
But none of us has ever meant
To overthrow the government.
From Baltimore to Hagerstown,
Just take your car and drive around.

We're near the nation's capital,
But we are not stuck up at all,
So take a stand and shake the hand
Of every crab in Maryland.
We touch four states and several bays,
The highways mostly run both ways,
We hope you come and say hello
And maybe stop and spend some dough.

When I was ten my family
Moved here from West Virginia;
I went to school in Annapolis,
I studied Greek and calculus,
And now I live in Baltimore
And that's what Maryland is for.
Oh Maryland, oh Maryland,
Oh Maryland, oh Maryland.

I have a dog whose name is Jack,
I threw a stick, he brought it back.
My sister had a cat, I think,
My mother had a kitchen sink.
My father was a decent man,
And we all lived in Maryland.
Oh Maryland, oh Maryland,
Oh Maryland, oh Maryland.

Our nights are dark, our days are fair,
We're right next door to Delaware.
Our song before was full of gore
But we heard the Union won the war.
We're sorry if we made you mad,
It was the only song we had.
Oh Maryland, oh Maryland,
Oh Maryland, oh Maryland.

Ludwig van Beethoven
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


Ludwig van Beethoven (pronounced [ˈbeː.to.vən]) (baptized December 17, 1770[1] - March 26, 1827) was a German composer and pianist. He is generally regarded as one of the greatest composers in the history of music, and was the predominant figure in the transitional period between the Classical and Romantic eras in Western classical music. His reputation and genius have inspired?-and in many cases intimidated?-ensuing generations of composers, musicians, and audiences.

Born in Bonn, Germany, he moved to Vienna, Austria, in his early twenties, and settled there, studying with Joseph Haydn and quickly gaining a reputation as a virtuoso pianist. In his late twenties he began to lose his hearing, and yet continued to produce notable masterpieces throughout his life in the face of this personal disaster. Beethoven was one of the first composers who worked as a freelance ?- arranging subscription concerts, selling his compositions to publishers, and gaining financial support from a number of wealthy patrons ?- rather than being permanently employed by the Church or by an aristocratic court.



Life


Beethoven was born at Bonngasse 515 (today Bonngasse 20) in Bonn, Germany to Johann van Beethoven (1740-1792) and Magdalena Keverich van Beethoven (1744-1787). Beethoven was baptized on December 17, but his family and later teacher Johann Albrechtsberger celebrated his birthday on December 16.

Beethoven's first music teacher was his father, a musician in the Electoral court at Bonn who was apparently a harsh and unpredictable instructor. Johann would often come home from a bar in the middle of the night and pull young Ludwig out of bed to play for him and his friend. Beethoven's talent was recognized at a very early age. His first important teacher was Christian Gottlob Neefe. In 1787 young Beethoven traveled to Vienna for the first time, where he may have met and played for Mozart. He was forced to return home because his mother was dying of tuberculosis. Beethoven's mother died when he was 16, shortly followed by his sister, and for several years he was responsible for raising his two younger brothers because of his father's worsening alcoholism.

Beethoven moved to Vienna in 1792, where he studied for a time with Joseph Haydn in lieu of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, who had died the previous year. He received additional instruction from Johann Georg Albrechtsberger (Vienna's preeminent counterpoint instructor) and Antonio Salieri. Beethoven immediately established a reputation as a piano virtuoso. His first works with opus numbers, the three piano trios, appeared in 1795. He settled into the career pattern he would follow for the remainder of his life: rather than working for the church or a noble court (as most composers before him had done), he supported himself through a combination of annual stipends or single gifts from members of the aristocracy, income from subscription concerts, concerts, and lessons, and sales of his works.


Loss of hearing

Around 1801, Beethoven began to lose his hearing.[2] He suffered a severe form of tinnitus, a "roar" in his ears that made it hard for him to appreciate music; he would avoid conversation. The cause of Beethoven's deafness is unknown, but it has variously been attributed to syphilis, beatings from his father, lead poisoning, typhus, and even his habit of immersing his head in cold water to stay awake. The oldest explanation, from the autopsy of the time, is that he had a "distended inner ear" which developed lesions over time.

Russell Martin has shown from analysis done on a sample of Beethoven's hair that there were alarmingly high levels of lead in Beethoven's system. High concentrations of lead can lead to bizarre and erratic behaviour, including rages. Another symptom of lead poisoning is deafness. In Beethoven's time, lead was used widely without an understanding of the damage it could cause. It was used in sweetening wine, finishes on porcelain, and even in medicines. The investigation of this link was detailed in the book, Beethoven's Hair: An Extraordinary Historical Odyssey and a Scientific Mystery Solved. However, while the likelihood of lead poisoning is very high, the deafness associated with it seldom takes the form that Beethoven exhibited.

Over time, his hearing loss became acute: There is a well-attested story that, at the premiere of his Ninth Symphony, he had to be turned around to see the tumultuous applause of the audience; hearing nothing, he began to weep. In 1802, he became depressed, and considered committing suicide. He left Vienna for a time for the small Austrian town of Heiligenstadt (see the 1802 Heiligenstadt Testament), where he resolved to continue living through his art. Beethoven's hearing loss did not affect his ability to compose music, but it made concerts ?- lucrative sources of income ?- increasingly difficult. After a failed attempt in 1811 to perform his own Piano Concerto No. 5 "Emperor," he never performed in public again.

As a result of Beethoven's hearing loss, a unique historical record has been preserved: he kept conversation books discussing music and other issues, and giving an insight into his thought. Even today, the conversation books form the basis for investigation into how he felt his music should be performed, and his relationship to art - which he took very seriously.






Social difficulties

Beethoven's personal life was troubled. About age 28, he started to become deaf, which led him to think about suicide (see the 1802 Heiligenstadt Testament). He was attracted to unattainable (married or aristocratic) women; he never married. His only uncontested love affair with an identified woman began in 1805 with Josephine von Brunswick; most scholars think it ended by 1807 because she could not marry a commoner without losing her children. In 1812 he wrote a long love letter to a woman only identified therein as the "Immortal Beloved." (A movie by this title was released in 1994.) Several candidates have been suggested, but none has won universal support. Some scholars believe his period of low productivity from about 1812 to 1816 was caused by depression resulting from Beethoven's realization that he would never marry.

Beethoven quarreled, often bitterly, with his relatives and others (including a painful and public custody battle over his nephew Karl); he frequently treated other people badly. He moved often and had strange personal habits, such as wearing dirty clothing even as he washed compulsively.[citation needed] Nonetheless, he had a close and devoted circle of friends his entire life.

Many listeners perceive an echo of Beethoven's life in his music, which often depicts struggle followed by triumph. This description is often applied to Beethoven's creation of masterpieces in the face of his severe personal difficulties.



Personal beliefs and their musical influence

Beethoven was much taken by the ideals of the Enlightenment and by the growing Romanticism in Europe. He initially dedicated his third symphony, the Eroica (Italian for "heroic"), to Napoleon in the belief that the general would sustain the democratic and republican ideals of the French Revolution, but in 1804 crossed out Napoleon's name on the title page upon which he had written a dedication to him, as Napoleon's imperial ambitions became clear, renamed the symphony as the "Sinfonia Eroica, composta per festeggiare il sovvenire di un grand Uomo", or in English, "composed to celebrate the memory of a great man". The fourth movement of his Ninth Symphony features an elaborate choral setting of Schiller's Ode An die Freude ("Ode To Joy"), an optimistic hymn championing the brotherhood of humanity.

Scholars disagree on Beethoven's religious beliefs and the role they played in his work. For discussion, see Ludwig van Beethoven's religious beliefs. It has been asserted, but not proven, that Beethoven was a Freemason.[3]


His music

Beethoven was perhaps the greatest master of construction, by sketching the plan of a movement before he had the subject-matter more than dimly in his mind. He was the first composer systematically and consistently to use the interlocking thematic device or "germ-motives" to achieve inter-movement unity in long compositions. Also equally remarkable was his use of "source-motives", which recurred in many different compositions and lent to unity in his life's works. He improved almost every form of music he touched. Even a trivial and well-crystallized thing such as the rondo he diversified, making it more elastic and spacious bringing it closer to the sonata-form. Among Beethoven's most recognized, concrete, and original contributions can be grouped into three types:

1) The first movement of the titanic and elemental struggle (quartets 4 and 11, the "Eroica", the 5th and "Choral" Symphonies, the sonatas Pathetique, Appassionata, and C minor Op. 111).

2) The Scherzo of tumultuous, headlong humor and Dionysiac exultation (quartets 6, 7, 13 and 14, the 7th and 9th Symphonies, the Sonata in G Op. 14, the Violin Sonata in F).

3) The ethereal slow movement of mystic exaltation (quartets 8, 12 and 15, the "Hammerklavier" Sonata Op. 106, the Sonata in E Major Op. 109, the "Emperor" Concerto, The Benedictus of the Missa Solemnis, The "Archduke" piano trio Op. 97).


Work

Beethoven's musical style and innovations

Beethoven composed in a great variety of genres, including symphonies, concerti, piano sonatas, string quartets and other chamber music, masses, opera, lieder, and various other genres. He is viewed as one of the most important transitional figures between the Classical and Romantic eras of musical history.

As far as musical form is concerned, Beethoven built on the principles of sonata form and motivic development that he had inherited from Haydn and Mozart, but greatly extended them, writing longer and more ambitious movements. But Beethoven also radically redefined the symphony, transforming it from the rigidly structured four-ordered-movements form of Haydn's era to a fairly open ended form that could sustain as many movements as necessary, and of whatever form was necessary to give the work cohesion.


The three periods

Beethoven's career as a composer is usually divided into Early, Middle, and Late periods.

In the Early period, he is seen as emulating his great predecessors Haydn and Mozart while concurrently exploring new directions and gradually expanding the scope and ambition of his work. Some important pieces from the Early period are the first and second symphonies, the first six string quartets, the first three piano concertos, and the first twenty piano sonatas, including the famous Pathétique and Moonlight.

The Middle period began shortly after Beethoven's personal crisis centering around deafness. The period is noted for large-scale works expressing heroism and struggle; these include many of the most famous works of classical music. Middle period works include six symphonies (Nos. 3-8), the last two piano concertos, triple concerto and his only violin concerto, five string quartets (Nos. 7-11), the next seven piano sonatas including the Waldstein, and Appassionata, and his only opera, Fidelio.

Beethoven's Late period began around 1816 and lasted until Beethoven's death in 1827. The Late works are greatly admired for and characterized by their intellectual depth, intense and highly personal expression, and experimentation with forms (for example, the Quartet in C Sharp Minor has seven movements, while most famously his Ninth Symphony adds choral forces to the orchestra in the last movement). This period includes the Missa Solemnis, the last five string quartets and the last five piano sonatas.

Considering the depth and extent of Beethoven's artistic explorations, as well as the composer's success in making himself comprehensible to the widest possible audience, the Austrian-born British musician and writer Hans Keller pronounced Beethoven "humanity's greatest mind altogether". See also History of sonata form and Romantic music.


Fictional Portrayals

Beethoven has been portrayed on film many times by actors including Albert Basserman, Gary Oldman, Ed Harris, Ian Hart and Karlheinz Böhm.

Liv Ullmann
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia



Birth name Liv Johanne Ullmann
Born December 16, 1938 (age 68)
Tokyo, Japan

Liv Johanne Ullmann (born December 16, 1938) is an Oscar-nominated Norwegian actress, author and film director. She played lead roles in nine films by Ingmar Bergman, with whom she had a daughter, Norwegian author Linn Ullmann. The consummate psychological actress, she was the object of critical acclaim the likes of which haven't been seen since the 1970s (awards include three Best Actress prizes from the prestigious National Society of Film Critics, two from the National Board of Review, a threesome from the New York Film Critics Circle, and one Golden Globe as well as a LAFCA honor).

Liv Ullman was born in Tokyo (where her engineer father was working at the time), and grew up in Trondheim, Norway.

Her work with Bergman, especially in the powerful Scenes from a Marriage, turned her into a 1970s feminist and cultural icon, as well as one of the most respected actresses of her time. She was nominated twice for an Academy Award (for The Emigrants and Face to Face), and published two successful biographies (Changing and Choices).

She is multi-lingual, speaking Norwegian, Swedish, English and other European languages. She is also a committed UNICEF goodwill ambassador, and has travelled widely for the organisation. Appointed honorary doctor at the Norwegian University of Science and Technology 2006.

Lately, Ullmann has been making a name for herself as a film director (most notably with the acclaimed, Bergman-scripted drama Faithless) and could also be seen reprising her role from Scenes from a Marriage in 2003's Saraband (Bergman's final telemovie).



Personal Life

Ullmann has been married and divorced twice. Her first marriage was to Dr. Hans Jacob (Gappe), a psychiatrist. In the 1980s, she married Boston real estate developer Donald Saunders, whom she divorced in 1995. But as of 2001, the couple was still living together. [1]

Arthur C. Clarke
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


Born: December 16, 1917
Somerset, England, United Kingdom

Sir Arthur Charles Clarke (born December 16, 1917) is a British author and inventor, most famous for his science-fiction novel 2001: A Space Odyssey, and for collaborating with director Stanley Kubrick on the film of the same name. Clarke is the last surviving member of what was sometimes known as the "Big Three" of science fiction, which included Robert A. Heinlein and Isaac Asimov.


Biography

Clarke was born in Minehead in Somerset, England, and as a boy enjoyed stargazing and enthusiastically read old American science-fiction magazines (pulp magazines, many of which made their way to England in ships with sailors who read them to pass the time). After secondary school, and studying at Richard Huish College, Taunton he was unable to afford a university education and got a job as an auditor in the pensions section of the Board of Education.

During the Second World War, he served in the Royal Air Force as a radar specialist and was involved in the early warning radar defence system which contributed to the RAF's success during the Battle of Britain. He was demobilised with the rank of Flight Lieutenant. After the war, he obtained a first class degree in mathematics and physics at King's College London.

In the postwar years Clarke became involved with the British Interplanetary Society and served for a time as its chairman. His most important contribution may be the idea that geostationary satellites would be ideal telecommunications relays. He first proposed this in a paper privately circulated among the core technical members of the BIS in 1945. The concept was published in Wireless World in October of that year.[1] [2] [3] [4] Clarke has also written a number of non-fiction books describing the technical details and societal implications of rocketry and space flight. The most notable of these may be The Exploration of Space (1951) and The Promise of Space (1968).

Clarke's first professional sale was in 1946 to Astounding Science Fiction: the memorable short story "Rescue Party". Along with his writing, Clarke worked briefly as Assistant Editor of Science Abstracts (1949) before devoting himself to writing full-time from 1951. Clarke also contributed to the Dan Dare series, and his first three published novels were for a juvenile audience.

In 1951, he wrote "The Sentinel" for a BBC competition. Though the story was rejected, it changed the course of Clarke's career. Not only the basis for 2001, The Sentinel introduced a more mystical and cosmic element to Clarke's work. Many of Clarke's later works feature a technologically advanced but prejudiced mankind being confronted by a superior alien intelligence. In the cases of The City and the Stars, Childhood's End, and the 2001 series, this encounter produces a conceptual breakthrough that accelerates humanity into the next stage of its evolution.

In 1953 Clarke met and quickly married Marilyn Mayfield, a twenty-two year old American divorcee with a young son. They separated permanently after six months, although a divorce was not finalized until 1964. [5]

He has lived in Sri Lanka since 1956, immigrating when it was still called Ceylon, first in Unawatuna on the south coast, and then in Colombo. Clarke holds citizenship of both the UK and Sri Lanka [6]. He has long been an avid scuba diver and a member of the Underwater Explorers Club, and living in Sri Lanka has afforded him the opportunity to visit the ocean year-round. It also inspired the locale for his novel The Fountains of Paradise, in which he describes a space elevator. This, he figures, will ultimately be his legacy, more so than geostationary satellites, once space elevators make space shuttles obsolete. [6]

His many predictions reached great heights when in 1958 he started a series of essays that became Profiles of the Future published in their entirety in 1962. A timetable [7] up to the year 2100 describes inventions and ideas including such things as a "global library" for 2005.

Early in his career, Clarke had a fascination with the paranormal, and has stated that it was part of the inspiration for his novel Childhood's End. He has also said that he was one of several who were fooled by a Uri Geller demonstration at Birkbeck College. Although he has long since dismissed and distanced himself from nearly all pseudoscience, he still advocates research into purported instances of psychokinesis and other similar phenomena.

He signed a three-book publishing deal, a record for a science fiction writer. The first of the three was Rendezvous with Rama in 1973, which won him all the main genre awards and has spawned sequels that, along with the 2001 series, formed the backbone of Clarke's later career.

In 1975, his short story The Star was not included as prose in a new high school English textbook in Sri Lanka because of concerns that it might offend Roman Catholics, although it had been selected. The textbook caused controversy because it replaced Shakespeare's work with that of Bob Dylan, John Lennon, and Isaac Asimov.

In the 1980s Clarke became well known to many for his television programmes Arthur C. Clarke's Mysterious World and Arthur C. Clarke's World of Strange Powers.

In 1988, he was diagnosed with post-polio syndrome and has since needed to use a wheelchair most of the time.

He was the first Chancellor of the International Space University, serving from 1989 to 2004, and Chancellor of Moratuwa University, Sri Lanka, from 1979 to 2002.

On February 1, 1998, a British Tabloid newspaper (The Sunday Mirror) reported that Clarke, then a recent candidate for knighthood, was a pedophile and was living in Sri Lanka in order to facilitate that lifestyle. The Mirror article quoted a supposed interview with Clarke: "Once they have reached the age of puberty, it is OK... It doesn't do any harm. and "I am trying to think of the youngest boy I have ever had because, of course, you can't tell it here. I think most of the damage comes from the fuss made by hysterical parents afterwards. If the kids don't mind, fair enough.". The newspaper account also claimed that Clarke had links to well-known paedophile rings operating in Britain and Europe

On February 3, 1998, Clarke issued a statement denying the charges and asked for a postponement of his knighthood ceremony. He said that having always had a particular dislike of paedophiles, few charges could be more revolting to him than to be classed as one. Clarke said that he had not been sexually active in 20 years, and that the reports were "nonsense, contemptuous and revolting". He also declined to speak with the media "on legal advice".

The allegations of the Mirror were never proven, but Clarke's reputation was damaged.

Clarke was eventually presented with the "Award of Knight Bachelor" on May 26, 2000, in Colombo, Sri Lanka. After the ceremony, Clarke said: "I have every reason to be happy and, yes, I am very, very happy." everything2.com


Themes, style, and influences

Clarke's work is marked by an optimistic view of science empowering mankind's exploration of the solar system. His early published stories would usually feature the extrapolation of a technological innovation or scientific breakthrough into something that helps resolve a human dilemma. The first manned mission to the moon (Prelude to Space), the colonization of Mars (The Sands of Mars) and life aboard a space station (Islands in the Sky) were all genre SF mainstays. Clarke's background as a technical writer showed in the early novels as a deliberate documentary style, and his characters reflect Clarke's experience by being mostly military or civil service types.

A recurring type of character is found in The Lion of Comarre, The City and the Stars, The Road to the Sea, and other works. A young man in a superficially utopian society becomes dissatisfied and restless and seeks to expand his horizons, thereby discovering the underlying decadence of his own society.

The Sentinel (1948) introduced a religious theme to Clarke's work, a theme that he later explored more deeply in "The Star". His interest in the paranormal was influenced by Charles Fort and embraced the belief that mankind may be the property of an ancient alien civilization. Surprisingly for a writer who is often held up as an example of hard science fiction's obsession with technology, three of Clarke's novels have this as a theme[citation needed]. Another theme of The Sentinel was the notion that the evolution of an intelligent species would eventually make them something close to gods, which was also explored in his 1953 novel Childhood's End. This idea of transcendence through evolution seems to have been influenced by Olaf Stapledon, who wrote a number of books dealing with this theme. Clarke has said of Stapledon's 1930 book Last and First Men that "No other book had a greater influence on my life....[It] and its successor Star Maker (1937) are the twin summits of [Stapledon's] literary career". [7]


Adapted screenplays

2001: A Space Odyssey

Clarke's first venture into film was the Stanley Kubrick-directed 2001: A Space Odyssey. Kubrick and Clarke had met in 1964 to discuss the possibility of a collaborative film project. As the idea developed, it was decided that the story for the film was to be loosely based on Clarke's short story The Sentinel, written in 1948 as an entry in a BBC short story competition. Originally, Clarke was going to write the screenplay for the film, but this proved to be more tedious than he had estimated. Instead, Kubrick and Clarke decided it would be best to write a novel first and then adapt it for the film upon its completion. However, as Clarke was finishing the book, the screenplay was also being written simultaneously.

Clarke's influence on the directing of 2001: A Space Odyssey is also felt in one of the most memorable scenes in the movie when astronaut Bowman shuts down HAL by removing modules from service one by one. As this happens we witness HAL's consciousness degrading. By the time HAL's logic is completely gone, he begins singing the song Daisy Bell. This song was chosen due to a coincidence when in 1962 Clarke visited his friend and colleague John Pierce at the Bell Labs Murray Hill facility. A remarkable speech synthesis demonstration by physicist John Larry Kelly, Jr was taking place at the time. Kelly was using an IBM 704 computer to synthesize speech. His voice recorder synthesizer vocoder reproduced the vocal for Daisy Bell, with musical accompaniment from Max Mathews, creating one of the most famous moments in the history of Bell Labs. Arthur C. Clarke was so impressed that he later told Kubrick to use it in this climactic scene.[8]

Due to the hectic schedule of the film's production, Kubrick and Clarke had difficulty collaborating on the book. Clarke completed a draft of the novel at the end of 1964 with the plan to publish in 1965 in advance of the film's release in 1966. After many delays the film was released in the spring of 1968, before the book was completed. The book was credited to Clarke alone. Clarke later complained that this had the effect of making the book into a novelisation, that Kubrick had manipulated circumstances to downplay his authorship. For these and other reasons, the details of the story differ slightly from the book to the movie. The film is a bold artistic piece with little explanation for the events taking place. Clarke, on the other hand, wrote thorough explanations of "cause and effect" for the events in the novel. Despite their differences, both film and novel were well received. [8] [9] [10]

In 1972 Clarke published The Lost Worlds of 2001, which included his account of the production and alternate versions of key scenes. The "special edition" of the novel A Space Odyssey (released in 1999) contains an introduction by Clarke, documenting his account of the events leading to the release of the novel and film.

2010

In 1982 Clarke continued the 2001 epic with a sequel, 2010: Odyssey Two. This novel was also made into a film, 2010: The Year We Make Contact, directed by Peter Hyams for release in 1984. Due to the political environment in America in the 1980s, the novel and film present a Cold War theme, with the looming tensions of nuclear war. The film was not considered to be as revolutionary or artistic as 2001, but the reviews were still positive and it has earned over 40 million dollars since its release in North America. [11]

Clarke's email correspondence with Hyams was published in 1984. Titled The Odyssey File: The Making of 2010, and co-authored with Hyams, it illustrates his fascination with the then-pioneering medium and its use for them to communicate on an almost daily basis at the time of planning and production of the film. The book also includes Clarke's list of the best science-fiction films ever made.

Essays and short stories

Most of Clarke's essays (from 1934 to 1998) can be found in the book Greetings, Carbon-Based Bipeds! (2000). Most of his short stories can be found in the book The Collected Stories of Arthur C. Clarke (2001). Another collection of early essays was published in The View from Serendip (1977), which also included one short piece of fiction, "When the Twerms Came". He has also written short stories under the pseudonyms of E. G. O'Brien and Charles Willis. He also wrote a story called "The Secret."


Concept of the geostationary satellite

Clarke's most important contribution may be the idea that geostationary satellites would be ideal telecommunications relays. He proposed this concept in a paper titled "Extra-Terrestrial Relays ?- Can Rocket Stations Give Worldwide Radio Coverage?", published in Wireless World in October 1945. The geostationary orbit is now sometimes known as the Clarke Orbit in his honour.

However, it is not clear that this article was actually the inspiration for the modern telecommunications satellite. John R. Pierce, of Bell Labs, arrived at the idea independently in 1954, and he was actually involved in the Echo satellite and Telstar projects. Moreover, Pierce stated that the idea was "in the air" at the time and certain to be developed regardless of Clarke's publication. Nevertheless, Clarke described the idea so thoroughly that his article has been cited as prior art in judgements denying patents on the concept.[citation needed]

It is also true that Clarke was not the first to publish the basic idea. It is found in Hermann Oberth's 1923 book Die Rakete zu den Planetenräumen (The Rocket into Interplanetary Space), among other places. [9]


Awards, honors and other recognition

Following the release of 2001, Clarke became much in demand as a commentator on science and technology, especially at the time of the Apollo space program. The fame of 2001 was enough to get the Command Module of the Apollo 13 craft named "Odyssey".
The Asimov-Clarke Treaty recognizes Clarke as the second best science writer, and Isaac Asimov as the second best science fiction writer, in the world. The corollary is obvious.
In 1986, Clarke provided a grant to fund the prize money (initially £1,000) for the Arthur C. Clarke Award for the best science fiction novel published in Britain in the previous year. In 2001 the prize was increased to £2001, and its value now matches the year (e.g., £2005 in 2005).
Clarke was knighted in 2000. Clarke's health did not allow him to travel to London to receive the honour personally from the Queen, so the United Kingdom's High Commissioner to Sri Lanka awarded him the title of Knight Bachelor at a ceremony in Colombo.
The 2001 Mars Odyssey orbiter is named in honor of Sir Arthur's works.
In 2005 he lent his name to the inaugural Sir Arthur Clarke Awards ?- dubbed "the Space Oscars". His brother attended the awards ceremony, and presented an award specially chosen by Arthur (and not by the panel of judges who chose the other awards) to the British Interplanetary Society.
On 14 November 2005 Sri Lanka awarded Arthur C. Clarke its highest civilian award, the Lankabhimanaya (Pride of Lanka) award, for his contributions to science and technology and his commitment to his adopted country.
Sir Arthur is currently the Honorary Board Chair of the Institute for Cooperation in Space, founded by Carol Rosin, and serves on the Board of Governors of the National Space Society, a space advocacy organization originally founded by Dr. Wernher von Braun.
An asteroid is named in Clarke's honour, 4923 Clarke, as is a species of ceratopsian dinosaur, Serendipaceratops arthurcclarkei, discovered in Inverloch in Australia.

Back to School Bestsellers



Walking To School The First Day Back
by Misty Bus

The Day The Car Pool Forgot Me
by I. Rhoda Bike

Can't See The Chalkboard
by Sidney Backrow

Practical Jokes I Played On The First Day Of School
by Major Crackupp

What I Dislike About Returning To School
by Mona Lott

Making It Through The First Week Of School
by Gladys Saturday

Is Life Over When Summer Ends?
by Midas Welbee

What I Love About Returning To School
by I.M. Kidding

Will Jimmy Finally Graduate?
by I. Betty Wont

What Happens When You Get Caught Skipping School
by U. Will Gettitt

Ah, folks, we know that our hawkman is through with his bio's when we read his pun books. Love it, Bob.

I do hope our Raggedy makes it in today. I am becoming concerned.

Another thing, folks. Millions are without power in the Northwest, and I wonder about Mr. and Mrs. Piffka.

Well, until our resident photographer makes it, here's another satire song:


Elo - Roll Over Beethoven Lyrics

Gonna write a little letter gonna mail it to me local D.J.
it's a jampan little record I want my jockey to play
Roll Over Beethoven, gotta hear it again today

My temperature's raisin, the juke box's blowin a fuse
My heart's beatin a rhythm, singin out rhythm and blues
Roll Over Beethoven, they're rockin in two by two

Well if you feel you like it, go get your lover and reel and
rock it
roll it over and move on up now, go for cover and reel and rock
it
roll it over, Roll Over Beethoven, tell Tchaikovsky the news

Early in the mornin I'm a givin you the warnin,
don't you step on my blue suede shoes
hey diddle diddle gonna play my fiddle,
I ain't got nothing to lose
Roll Over Beethoven, tell Tchaikovsky the news

She wiggles like a glow-worm, dances like a spinning top
she got a crazy partner, you should have seen her reel and
rock
long as she got a dime, the music will never stop

Well if you feel you like it, go get your lover and reel and
rock it
roll it over and move on up now, go for cover and reel and rock
it
roll it over, Roll Over Beethoven, dig these rhythm and blues

Roll Over Beethoven, Roll Over Beethoven,
Roll Over Beethoven, Roll Over Beethoven,
Roll Over Beethoven, dig these rhythm and blues?

Several groups did that one.

Christmas Auld Lang Syne
Bobby Darin

[Words and Music by Mann Curtis and Frank Military]

When mistletoe and tinsel glow
Paint a yuletide valentine
Back home I go to those I know
For a Christmas Auld Lang Syne

And as we gather 'round the tree
Our voices all combine
In sweet accord, to thank the Lord
For a Christmas Auld Lang Syne

When sleigh bells ring, and choirs sing
And the children's faces shine
With each new toy, we share their joy
With a Christmas Auld Lang Syne

We sing his praises, day of days
And pray next year this time
We'll all be here, to share the cheer
Of a Christmas Auld Lang Syne

---- Instrumental Interlude ----

"Merry Christmas everybody and a Happy New Year"!
In sweet accord, to thank the Lord
For a Christmas Auld Lang Syne

loved edgars comedy, another freburg bit

St. George & The Dragonet
Stan Freberg


Narrator: The legend you are about to hear is true. Only the needle should
be changed to protect the record.

St. George: This is the countryside. My name is St. George. I'm a knight.
Saturday, July 10th. 8:05 pm. I was working out of the castle on the night
watch when a call came in from the Chief. A dragon had been devouring
maidens. Homicide. My job: slay him.

You call me, Chief?

Chief: Yes, the dragon again, devouring maidens. The King's daughter may be
next.

St. George: Mmm-hmm. You got a lead?

Chief: Oh, nothing much to go on. Say, did you take that .45 automatic into
the lab to have them check on it?

St. George: Yeah. You were right.

Chief: I was right?

St. George: Yeah. It was a gun.

8:22 pm. I talked to one of the maidens who had almost been
devoured.

Could I talk to you, Ma'am?

Maiden: Who are you?

St. George: I'm St. George, Ma'am. Homicide, Ma'am. Want to ask you a few
questions, Ma'am. I understand you were almost devoured by the Ma'am. Is
that right, dragon?

Maiden: It was terrible. He breathed fire on me! He burned me already!

St. George: How can I be sure of that, Ma'am?

Maiden: Believe me, I got it straight from the dragon's mouth.

St. George: 11:45 pm. I rode over the King's Highway. I saw a man. Stopped
to talk to him.

Pardon me, Sir. Could I talk to you for just a minute, Sir?

Knave: Sure, I don't mind.

St. George: What do you do for a living?

Knave: I'm a knave.

St. George: Didn't I pick you up on a 903 last year for stealing tarts?

Knave: Yeah. So what? Do you wanna make a federal case out of it??

St. George: No, Sir. We heard there was a dragon operating in this
neighborhood. We just to know if you've seen him.

Knave: Sure, I seen him.

St. George: Mmm-hmm. Could you describe him for me?

Knave: What's to describe? You see one dragon, you seen 'em all.

St. George: Would you try to remember, Sir? Just for the record. We just
want to get the facts, Sir!

Knave: Well, he was, you know, he had orange polka dots . . .

St. George: Yes, Sir.

Knave: Purple feet, breathing fire and smoke . . .

St. George: Mmm-hmm.

Knave: And one big bloodshot eye right in the middle of his forehead and,
uh, like that.

St. George: Notice anything unusual about him?

Knave: No, he's just your run-of-the-mill dragon, you know.

St. George: Mmm-hmm. Yes, Sir. You can go now.

Knave: Hey, by the way, how you gonna catch him?

St. George: I thought you'd never ask. A Dragonet.

3:05 pm. I was riding back into the courtyard to make my report to
the lab. Then it happened. It was the dragon.

Dragon: Hey! I'm the fire-breathin' Dragon! You must be St. George, right?

St. George: Yes, Sir.

Dragon: I can see you got one of them new .45 caliber swords.

St. George: That's about the size of it.

Dragon: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!! You slay me!!

St. George: That's what I wanted to talk to you about.

Dragon: What do you mean?

St. George: I'm taking you in on a 502. You figure it out.

Dragon: What's the charge?

St. George: Devouring maidens out of season.

Dragon: Out of season?!? You'll never pin that rap on me!! Do you hear me,
cop?!?!

St. George: Yeah, I hear you. I got you on a 412 too.

Dragon: A 412!!! What's a 412?!?!?

St. George: Over-acting. Let's go.

Narrator: On September the 5th, the Dragon was tried and convicted. His fire
was put out and his maiden-devouring license revoked. Maiden devouring out
of season is punishable by a term of not less than 50 or more than 300 years.