A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to
walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad? To
which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms son.
Men use them to have safe sex."
"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in
health class at school." He looks over the display and picks up a
package of 3 and asks,"Why are there 3 in this package?" The dad
replies, "Those are for high school boys, one for Friday, one for
Saturday, and one for Sunday." "Cool" says the boy. He notices a 6
pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"
"Those are for college men," the dad answers, TWO for Friday, TWO for
Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."
"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a
12 pack. With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied, "Those are
for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March......."
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Letty
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Fri 21 Apr, 2006 12:14 pm
Well, folks. We now know that our Bob is through with his bio's.
As usual, his jokes always give us a smile. Thanks, honey.
It seems to me that Elaine May wrote a little play after she and Mike Nichols split up. If I recall correctly, it was called The Sand Box. I had a part in that play in the little theater group in Virginia. Guess I'll have to look that up.
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Letty
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Fri 21 Apr, 2006 12:51 pm
Letty ain't no good in the research department, folks. No luck with Elaine nor Charles.
Funny, I remember the name but not the fame:
The face helped a little. <smile>
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Tryagain
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Fri 21 Apr, 2006 03:43 pm
Charles Grodin', and cast)
Song: Miss Piggy's Fantasy
A miracle of spring
A miracle of beauty
Bedazzled by the
Magic of one smile
A vision of loveliness
A universe of charms
We'll never rest until
You're in our arms
Daffodils
Miss Piggy
Whipporwills
Miss Piggy
Everything that's lovely and warm and,
Spring, Miss Piggy
Fantasy
Miss Piggy
Ecstasy
Miss Piggy
All that's fair or fine or wonderful or anything
Miss Piggy
When does the rapture begin and grow
Where does devotion and passion go
Oh, happiness
Miss Piggy
One cares
Miss Piggy
All the world's ever wanted
Was you - a dream come true
Ah, Miss Piggy
It's you
When does the rapture begin and grow
Where does devotion and passion go
Oh, happiness
Miss Piggy
One cares
Miss Piggy
All the world's ever wanted
Was you - a dream come true
Ah, Miss Piggy
It's you
It's you
It's you
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Letty
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Fri 21 Apr, 2006 04:22 pm
Ah, Try. I don't know if that is our Charles or not. Love the Miss Piggie lyrics, however. In between the satire, there's a sad song there, buddy.
As is this one, listeners:
Un Quelqu'un Solitaire
[Athos Maia / Carlos Machado]
Your eyes spy the pale night
Uncommon shapes dance, naked, under the moonlight
Your perfume's smell numbs senses,
Opening scarves of a lost heart.
Desire, anger and disillusion...
What is the meaning of innocence?
Sometimes sincerity is our great weakness,
An infidel loneliness companion.
An hostile weeping suppresses the flaming sky,
Whisper, innocently, love and greed words.
Empty thoughts unveil you desires,
Confess the fear pain announces.
The last candle slightly agonizes, gentle and serene,
Exhaling a sweet orchid aroma.
Moving the sadness that burns in your breast away,
Letting alive remembrances traces behind...
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Lord Ellpus
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Fri 21 Apr, 2006 04:24 pm
LONDON CALLING......HERE IS THE NEWS FROM THE BBC............
News is just coming in that the two pandas at the London Zoo have begun to mate. The winner meets Gary Kasparov in the final.
A report has just been published from the team who have been investigating the social habits of Mr. and Mrs. Average.
Unfortunately, Mr. Average was not at home, as he'd slipped down to the south coast with Mrs. Well-Above Average.
Bad luck for the English football team captured by cannibals in Africa last week. By the time rescuers caught up with them, the cannibals had eaten the eleven players and were just warming up the subsitute.
Scotland Yard has informed the BBC that a four foot dwarf held up a service station in an armed robbery today. Police are looking for a sawn-off man with a shotgun.
And finally, the funeral took place today of Horace Smythe, the inventor of the crossword puzzle. It was attended by over two hundred puzzle entusiasts, who sang "Abide with me", as he was buried four down and two across.
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Letty
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Fri 21 Apr, 2006 04:37 pm
Oh, my Gawd, L.E. Why won't you let us be sad, you clever Brit.
Loved the inventor of the crossword puzzle's funeral. The sawed off dwarf was great as well, as were they all.
Well, folks. Here's a bit of real news:
Actor in September 11 movie says denied entry to U.S By Mike Collett-White
43 minutes ago
LONDON (Reuters) - An Iraqi actor who plays a hijacker in a new film about the September 11 attacks on the United States complained on Friday he had been denied entry into the country for the movie's premiere.
But the U.S. embassy in London said Lewis Alsamari, who has lived in Britain since 1995, had not given sufficient notice about his planned trip.
A spokeswoman said officials at the embassy would try their best to get Alsamari to New York on time but could give no guarantees.
Alsamari stars in "United 93," a film about the hijacked plane that crashed in Pennsylvania which has sparked intense debate about whether Americans are ready to see an on-screen portrayal of the events.
The movie, directed by Briton Paul Greengrass, premieres at the Tribeca Film Festival in New York next week.
Alsamari, 30, said he may have been denied entry by the U.S. embassy in London because he served in the Iraqi army.
Strange our folkways and mores.
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Tryagain
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Fri 21 Apr, 2006 05:38 pm
Strange indeed, but then Elvis was in the army.
Elvis~
All Shook Up
A well I bless my soul
What's wrong with me?
I'm itching like a man on a fuzzy tree
My friends say I'm actin' wild as a bug
I'm in love
I'm all shook up
Mm mm oh, oh, yeah, yeah!
My hands are shaky and my knees are weak
I can't seem to stand on my own two feet
Who do you thank when you have such luck?
I'm in love
I'm all shook up
Mm mm oh, oh, yeah, yeah!
Please don't ask me what's on my mind
I'm a little mixed up, but I'm feelin' fine
When I'm near that girl that I love best
My heart beats so it scares me to death!
She touched my hand what a chill I got
Her lips are like a vulcano that's hot
I'm proud to say she's my buttercup
I'm in love
I'm all shook up
Mm mm oh, oh, yeah, yeah!
My tongue get tied when I try to speak
My insides shake like a leaf on a tree
There's only one cure for this body of mine
That's to have the girl that I love so fine!
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Letty
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Fri 21 Apr, 2006 05:44 pm
Ah, yes, Try, but I think, folks, that this is my favorite of all Elvis' songs:
Falling in Love
Wise men say only fools rush in
But I can't help falling in love with you
Shall I stay
Would it be a sin
If I can't help falling in love with you
Like a river flows surely to the sea
Darling so it goes
Some things are meant to be
Take my hand, take my whole life too
For I can't help falling in love with you
Like a river flows surely to the sea
Darling so it goes
Some things are meant to be
Take my hand, take my whole life too
For I can't help falling in love with you
For I can't help falling in love with you
Then, of course, there's the other "Fools Rush In.", a lovely jazz ballad.
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edgarblythe
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Fri 21 Apr, 2006 05:45 pm
M.T.A. - The Kingston Trio
Spoken:
These are the times that try men's souls
In the course of our nation's history
The people of Boston have rallied bravely
Whenever the rights of men have been threatened
Today, a new crisis has arisen
The Metropolitan Transit Authority
Better known as the M.T.A.
Is attempting to levy a burdensome tax
On the population in the form of a subway fare increase
Citizens, hear me out, this could happen to you
Well, let me tell you of the story
Of a man named Charley
On a tragic and fateful day
He put ten cents in his pocket
Kissed his wife and family
Went to ride on the M.T.A
Well, did he ever return
No, he never returned
And his fate is still unlearned (what a pity)
He may ride forever 'neath the streets of Boston
He's the man who never returned
Charlie handed in his dime
At the Kendall Square Station
And he changed for Jamaica Plain
When he got there the conductor told him
One more nickel
Charlie couldn't get off of that train
But, did he ever return
No, he never returned
And his fate is still unlearned (poor old Charlie)
He may ride forever 'neath the streets of Boston
He's the man who never returned
Now, all night long Charlie rides through the station
Crying, what will become of me
How can I afford to see my sister in Chelsea
Or my cousin in Roxbury
But, did he ever return
No, he never returned
And his fate is still unlearned
He may ride forever 'neath the streets of Boston
He's the man who never returned
Charlie's wife goes down
To the Sculley Square Station
Every day at quarter past two
And through the open window
She hands Charlie a sandwich
As the train comes rumblin' through
But, did he ever return
No, he never returned
And his fate is still unlearned (may ride forever)
He may ride forever 'neath the streets of Boston
He's the man who never returned
---- Instrumental Interlude ----
Now, you citizens of Boston,
Don't you think it's a scandal
How the people have to pay and pay
Fight the fare increase
Vote for George O'Brien
Get poor Charlie off the M. T. A.
Or else he'll ever return
No, he never returned
And his fate is still unlearned
He may ride forever 'neath the streets of Boston
He's the man who never returned
He's the man who never returned
He's the man who never returned
Ain't you Charlie
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Letty
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Fri 21 Apr, 2006 06:03 pm
Perfect timing, edgar, as we have now had two songs that reflect real men in American history.
Jonathan Edwards and Thomas Paine. Thanks, Texas.
"Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God"
"Common Sense". Am I right, folks?
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edgarblythe
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Fri 21 Apr, 2006 06:16 pm
Believe it or not, Bob Dylan sang this:
Bring Me Back My Blue-Eyed Boy
Carl Sandburg / Traditional
Go bring me back my blue-eyed boy,
[ Go bring my darling back to me,
Go bring me back the one I love,
And happy I will ever be.
Must I go bound while he goes free?
Must I love a man that don't love me?
Or must I act a childish part,
And die for the one that broke my heart?
Late one night when her father come home,
Inquiring where his daughter had gone,
He went upstairs and the lock he broke,
And found her hanging by a rope.
He drew his knife and he cut her down,
He drew his knife and he cut her down,
He drew his knife and he cut her down,
Upon her breast these words he found.
Go dig my grave, go dig it deep,
Go dig my grave, go dig it deep,
Go dig my grave, go dig it deep,
And plant a rose at my head and feet.
Upon my breast a turtle dove,
Upon my breast a turtle dove,
Upon my breast a turtle dove,
To show this world I died for love.
Around my grave go build a fence,
Around my grave go build a fence,
Around my grave go build a fence,
To show this world I had no sense. ]
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Letty
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Fri 21 Apr, 2006 06:29 pm
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Letty
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Fri 21 Apr, 2006 07:07 pm
Well, listeners, I must eat. I hope that I can be back in our studio later, but if not, here's a great song for all of you, not just our delightful Turtle:
HAPPY TOGETHER Lyrics
THE TURTLES
Imagine me and you I do
I think about you day and night
It's only right
To think about the girl you love
And hold her tight
So happy together
If I should call you up invest a dime
And you say you belong to me
And ease my mind
Imagine how the world could be
So very fine
So happy together
I can see me lovin' nobody but you
For all my life
When you're with me baby the skies'll be blue
For all my life
Me and you and you and me
No matter how they toss the dice
It had to be
The only one for me is you
And you for me
So happy together
I can see me lovin' nobody but you
For all my life
Later.
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Letty
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Sat 22 Apr, 2006 03:07 am
Good early morning, WA2K people.
Well, we had our first big thunderstorm replete with lightning last evening, and the brightness was somehow like a painting.
For the weather sensitive:
Who Has Seen the Wind?
Who has seen the wind?
Neither I nor you;
But when the leaves hang trembling
The wind is passing through.
Who has seen the wind?
Neither you nor I;
But when the trees bow down their heads
The wind is passing by.
Christina Rossetti
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Walter Hinteler
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Sat 22 Apr, 2006 06:05 am
Good morning, Letty - you've been up early :wink:
After all the jacks are in their boxes
and the clowns have all gone to bed
You can hear happiness staggering on down the street
footsteps dressed in red
And the wind whispers Mary
A broom is drearily sweeping
up the broken pieces of yesterdays life
Somewhere a queen is weeping
Somewhere a king has no wife
And the wind, it cries Mary
The traffic lights, they turn, uh, blue tomorrow
and shine their emptiness down on my bed
The tiny island sags down stream
'cause the life that lived is, is dead
And the wind screams Mary
Uh-will the wind ever remember
the names it has blow in the past?
And with this crutch, its old age, and its wisdom
it whispers no, this will be the last
And the wind cries Mary
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Francis
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Sat 22 Apr, 2006 06:08 am
Lord Ellpus wrote:
the funeral took place today of Horace Smythe, the inventor of the crossword puzzle. It was attended by over two hundred puzzle entusiasts, who sang "Abide with me", as he was buried four down and two across.
That made me laugh, LE!
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Letty
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Sat 22 Apr, 2006 06:17 am
Well, There's our Walter, folks. Hmmmm, love that, Germany. "...and the wind whispers, Mary...."
Yes, I was up quite early because I went too bed to early. Strange, folks. Early to bed and early to rise has done one thing for my bank account. <smile>
There is a song, They Call the Wind Mariah(sp). I need to check that out.
Good afternoon, Francis. L.E. has funny little reports, no?
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Letty
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Sat 22 Apr, 2006 06:20 am
Well, listeners. Better make that "went to bed too early."
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Letty
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Sat 22 Apr, 2006 06:51 am
The wind song:
Mariah Carey They Call The Wind Mariah Lyrics
Mariah.....Mariah....
They call the wind Mariah
Way out here
They got a name
for rain and wind and fire
the rain is rest
the fire is joy
and they call the wind Mariah
Mariah throws the stars around
and send the clouds a-flying
Mariah makes the mountains sound
like folks were up their dying
Mariah.....Mariah...
They call the wind Mariah
Before I know Mariah's name
and heard her wail and whinning
I had a girl and she had me
the sun was always shinning
But then one day
I left my girl
I left her behind me
and now I'm lost
Oh God I'm lost
not even God can find me
Mariah...Mariah...
They call the wind Mariah
Out here they got a name for rain
for wind and fire only
But when your lost and all alone
there is no name for gloomy
And I'm a lost and lonely man
without a star to guide me
Mariah blow my love to me
I need my girl besides me