Cinnesthesia wrote:A related question:
If you had to choose, would you prefer your spouse or partner "smart" or "attractive"? Not talking about flings, but about long term relationships or marriage.
I had a girlfriend for three years who was
very pretty and
very sweet - the girl that makes any family member go, "she's so sweet", every guy take a shot just to see if she's really "attached" to you or if they perhaps still have a chance, and every uncle go nudge, nudge, wink, wink, "you did well, eh?" . Both sweet and pretty was very nice. I'd rate sweet/kind higher than beautiful, but the beautiful sure was pleasant too.
But truth be told, she wasnt very smart. Or smart perhaps but not so very intelligent. Well, definitely no intellectual, lets put it that way. And it did get kind of exasperating after a while never being able to have like ... a good conversation
about something. We could have good conversations about, you know, people we knew/met, stuff we did, our own feelings and things - but not about anything beyond, like - us. That got kindof ... narrow, I mean the world became a little narrow. If I wanted to bring anything up, I'd need to explain it first. In simple terms. Got a bit frustrated and I sometimes became a little impatient, which wasnt very nice of me because she couldnt help it either. Also not a lot of ambition, like - always dreaming about some plan or other but then dropping it again, never like - willing to actually put some real work in it - kinda like you feel she'd be just as happy being at home with the kids in the end. And I'm guessing thats how she ended up too - a few years after we split up she met some doctor or dentist or physiotherapist or something, bit older I believe, moved in with each other quite soon (like, within half a year or something).
So, I dunno. I cant imagine having a girlfriend whom I dont consider really beautiful ... I mean, I once had a gf I didnt think was very beautiful, and I gotta say, its probably not the polite thing to say, but it makes a real difference in, like, daily happiness ... oh yeah. But you definitely gotta be able to talk about stuff, too. And both are trumped by imagination and a kind heart. A wicked streak is cool, but kindness is underrated, and definitely bottomline.