I Fall to Pieces

HEEVEN! YOU'RE VERY VERY BIG!!!!!!!!!!!

OHMY..thats gettin up close and personal now, aint it?

S'easy, just repeat after me:

I am a beautiful me.

This is me breathing...

...beautifully...


For only $19.95 you can have my instructional tapes Beautiful Me: Lessons My Beagle Taught Me.

Hmmm - Germaine Greer commented once that we do not age in increments - that we go on pretty much looking the same, then WHAMMO, we wake up one morning with a turkey neck, or something. I'll drink to that - if only I could still hold me liquor.

I am nearly 50, and I woke up one morning a few years ago with little wrinkles around me mouth - you know, those cat's bum ones? YIKES!!! Then one of me lines that go from your nose to the corner of your mouth went feral and sort of got deeper. YIKES again!

What will be next, I ask myself?

Oh - and instead of springing from me rest all dewy and gorgeous, I sort have to wait until the morning irons my face - 'tis best not to look in the mirror straight away, that is for sure.

But Sugar - at your weeny age, you are probably just having a bad hair week...

Sugar has a bad disease.. Plumber's crack of the head...

Oh my!!!

dlowan, I tend to look older than I am. Too many bad habits that have caught up to me. If it was just the hair I could shave it off.

Nothing to do now but sit around and get ugly. Geez, I thought there was some hope, but after reading here it seems that everyone just crackles and sags with a sigh.......

Maybe the boy with crackle and sag worse? Nah...no one complains about men looking old.

Maybe I'll just get rid of all the mirrors.

ppppbbbbbbbbtttthhhhhhh!

I've got more bad rabbits than anyone....

Cheap jeans and bad genes don't help.

Sob!
I lost my beak
Emu is taking a break, til I figger out where he went to
meantime, here's something delisssh to help take your minds off your creaking bones!

Sug...really...you look just perfect

Id say buy the Counts plan just so you can say the words

BTW..men only stay in the same waste size cuz the fat goes over the belt...instead of below it in a nice flowing fashion like ourselves...dont worry..the boy will have that
and you know you're old when you think thats cute

It's the season, maybe. I remember being in my 30's. Just before spring, trying on clothes, I thought myself the ugliest creature. But, closer to spring and it was always amazing. I'd just drop off those pounds, put on last summer's clothes, and WOW! My summer clothes were always two sizes smaller.

There's a lotta life after 30. Sugar, exercise and eat healthy. We all have to do that after age 45 anyhow, or we die. he he Just kidding. But, really, that is just such a great time to be alive, 30's.

tex-star

Thing is..she aint even there yet

its the winter blahs, most definately

And didn't she just come back from some warm sunny place... hmph.

just wait til you try on 45 for size. <sigh>
if you don't like who you are by then ...
sometimes i think i'd like the body back that i had when i was in my late 20's. it was gooooooooooood. but i'd rather have the mindset i've got now.

what i'd like to know is why i can't eat oranges at night anymore. i used to love that, and i still do it sometimes, but now it gives me an upset tummy grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Closing in on 36, I've got cereal joints... They go Snap, Crackle, and Pop all the time...

RE "I Fall To Pieces"

So, you think YOU are falling to pieces eh?
I wrote the following not long after turning sixty. That's s-i-x-t-y
young 'uns! 60 ... The Big Six Oh! The gateway to old age.


'Organs'*

Organs betray me, honey bun,
Malfunctions big and small;
Last year they took away my one
And only place for storing gall.

I have a uro-doctor now,
(Admired by his peers)
And now I notice -ow!
Hair, growing on the inside of my ears.

Ironically, on top my hair is thinner
And, (to tell you this may be a little crass)
Every evening after eating dinner,
I soak my (upper) denture in a glass.

What's that my dear?
My love, the situation's worse than what I paint,
So I must disappoint you now I fear:
My joints are stiff tonight...but some thing ain't.
(jjorge)



* not completely autobiographical.

Psst, I've seen jjorge and he does not look 60! He definitely looks younger.

Actually, I've thought everyone I've met in person from A2K has been younger than they really are. I think you're all 16-year-olds out to fool me.

quinn - I think it's fair to say the boy already has that. S'ok though - he goes off to the gym and I don't.

I'm not exercizing! I refuse to eat right! I'm just gonna rely on good genetics. My whole family is lazy - why can't I be thin forever too?!

dammit

LOL jjorge


I've got to tell you - it's my skin that's really bothering me the most. Kind of sagging a bit, but not totally - just in between wrinkly, ruddy.....the rest of me is as dry as a desert. Just feel gross, ya know? Pale and flabby and itchy skin and red wrinkly winter face and tired and achy and yuck.