Need advice from spiritual individuals

This is going to be a long post.. really need advice from someone who may offer some insight or have more knowledge with this type of situation.

I'm thirty years old- married for eight years but have been with my husband since I was 15 and he was 17. We have had occasional separations before we married but not during our marriage.

I consider myself a well-rounded woman. When I was in my early 20s, I did have some jealousy/insecurity issues. They were addressed with therapy and spiritual training. I have been able to live a normal and healthy life for the past 6 years. We have two young children, both under the age of 7.

Once I began my spiritual training, I could feel myself growing into a new person. As I was also transitioning from a young adult to a woman, I began needing an emotional connection. My husband and I do not have an emotional connection. He is emotionally unavailable due to a terrible terrible life of abuse. He undergoes therapy but his progress has been slow. I come from a great home and have no experience with anything of the sort. I am as supportive as I can be.

I am the type of wife who enjoys giving, nurturing, and intimacy. I seek much pleasure from giving to my spouse domestically, sexually, emotionally and so forth. I have any extremely active sex life with my husband, he enjoys the traditional gender/spouse roles in the home, as do I.

Our marriage has been struggling for years. In my opinion, we have grown into two different characters that make it very hard for us to be happy with each other. We do not agree on anything, especially parenting techniques, finances, and all the other key-subjects of a marriage.
I have tried every way i know possible to make things better in our marriage. He has back-slid with his behavioral therapy and has been suffering from long-term stress. Stress makes him angry, insecure, anxious, and somewhat verbally/emotionally abusive.

I dealt with the abuse as a young girl but not a woman. Now that I am experiencing this with my spiritual growth, I am in disbelief that I stuck through this for half of my life. Since we have been together for half of my life, so have "missed out " on traditional well loved romantic experiences. I've never had a man cook for me. I've never been dancing. I've never dated. I was too young to really date-

Perhaps I may have been been misleading. My husband is extremely emotionally abusive. I've suffered from anxiety, depression, and irrational thinking due to his brain washing. (I.e I will never find another man that will not cheat on me, like him) He doesn't cheat, however he makes up for the sin in much deeper and darker ways then a lustful affair. I would much prefer him to have an affair over the emotional abuse.
I spent 10 years believing that I had NO shot at finding a decent man. I think you get the idea.

I have slowly drifted into auto-pilot, ignoring my needs and desires. Daydreaming of more but not having the courage to bail on my family. I have felt like this dead-woman walking. Emotionless. I don't want my kids to grow up without guidance to true happiness. This is the only emotion I have.

I'm not the best looking woman out there but If I leave the house I typically always get 1-2 men attempting to flatter me with their words. Perhaps some men can sense that vulnerability in a woman. Perhaps I have sad eyes. I have never cheated, didn't consider finding another man- or finding a temporary way to fill this void. To wake me up, a little. I conomuself emotionally unavailable because of my marriage. I have intentionally tried to have a quick cheap connection with someone, just to try. When I say connection, I am speaking no sexual connection because the desire originates from my soul.

I'm not bitter however I do have realistic expectations from relationships. I am a realist. I don't live with false hope or feelings that make you feel better in the moment. I'm more about accepting the most likely outcome but hoping for the
best. I do know that so have never been in love.
So here is where I get to my question!!!!'
I recently started a PT job to help ends meet. I started two weeks ago. The first day of my job, I shadowed a very nice and good looking man. We immediately began laughing and conversating and it felt like very comfortable. By the end of my day, my belly was sore from laughing, my heart was full and satisfied from our deep and meaningful conversations. My cheeks were so sore from smiling and laughing. This guy and I are the same in thousands of ways. We have the same birthdays, we have the same favorite foods, desires, fears and etc. We both long for the same thing. We laughed every time one of us finished each others conversations, it's like we were two old souls reconnecting over a log haul. I have never experienced anything like this in my life. Although I am spiritual I am still realistic. I didn't believe "much" in soulmates. I believed we had highly compatible, compatible and non compatible people to choose from.

So it's now been only four (24 hrs) of working with each other. Each of those days only gets better, each day only gets more real. We talk and look into each others eyes and smile in disbelief. I know for sure I am not explaining this right- this experience has been life-changing. This guy also married his high school sweetheart and has the exact some issues. Perhaps we can relate with one another but it doesn't explain the deep connection that stems from our personalities. Doesn't explain why we are the exact same in every aspect of life.
Suffering from abuse from my husband as left me in this paralyzing fear. A false conception of needing him. I have been tempted by very nice men over the years, wanting to experience a gentlemen.. but never working up the courage. This guy gives me the courage WITHOUT doubt. I doubt everything in life. This is very rare. When he looks at me it's like looking into the eyes of someone I have been with in a previous life. Only way to explain it. I feel like he's my soulmate. He feels the same. We are absolutely crazy and madly in love? After four days? My rational mind cannot process this. It's impossible. But for someone whose never been in love, I don't doubt it's anything less than love.

What do you think? Are soulmates real? Does this really happen?