Adult insulting a young teen

This happens in Britain, or at least England, that I know of. Parents misbehaving, sometimes violently, at school sports matches, mainly soccer. They dispute referees' decisions, assault players of the side opposed to their own kids' teams, etc. Sometimes police get involved.

Yeah while they need to have sportsmanship conduct that parents are supposed to agree to.

I know have our coach reaching out to me to get more specifics as I had simply suggested we give a reminder to the parents - instead they are looking to ban this parent.

you handled it well.

hopefully the coach will speak to the rude parent and straighten it out.

your daughter deserves an apology...

well to be honest it was a good thing (for me) that she wasn't still there cuz I would have confronted her. Not that I would have started a fight - but I certainly would be clear that it was completely inappropriate for her to speak to my child in that way. but who knows how this idiot would have reacted and just what I would need for something like this to escalate.

The kind of odd or is it even ironic thing is - we used to live in this town (more city) and if we did my daughter would have been on that team.

I have heard some parents say things at times that they probably shouldn't have - but this is the first that I have heard of a parent directly saying something to a child.

Unless you knew (witnessed) the intention of the remark, theres no way to tell if this was an insult, tease, or even compliment.

Too bad someone didnt ask this woman what she meant.

13 year olds can misinterpret, we all know.

I did find out yesterday (my daughter neglected to tell me) as the coach asked -

There were two other witnesses -- one my daughter's teammate they both said it was rude and voiced in a mean way - they are certainly old enough to understand the difference.

The other was an adult that overheard - so even if you feel they are too young there is another older person that heard.

Even so the reaction of my daughter indicated to me (knowing my daughter) the tone she must have had - the obvious disbelief of an adult saying something like that. And the reactions of the parents during the game lead me not to doubt the tone.

There are trolls in every crowd.

That parent is allowed to voice their opinion despite the situation. Its just in bad taste. If that patent is so vocal towards strangers I can only imagine what verbal abuse that parents child receives at home. Some times ignoring it, is the best option rather than turn it into an issue.

Actually you are incorrect that a parent is/should be free to voice their opinion despite the situation - they are not allowed to direct their displeasure toward the children nor in an appropriate manner - also know as unsportsmanlike. This is part of the rules set up by the league with that clearly states parents acting in this way can be banned from future games.

Part of these competitions are too not only teach children sports skills but to teach them life lessons in sportsmanship - parents acting in this manner teach them otherwise.

It seems that if the league rules are to be followed, the parent should be banned.

Your daughter seems to know that the other parent's behaviour was wrong and reportable - so she reported it to you. I obviously don't know your daughter but from this perspective it seems like she knows banning is the next step and that following through (for her/the team/the league) is the right thing to do.

Congrats on raising young people who understand sportsmanship so well.

this would be great

You know -- the funny thing is the kids are rarely the problem. Many of the kids know each other to a certain degree and talk after the game. Often times they get to know each other simply over competing over 4 years or more.

To me it would be more an issue if it was a younger child - the youngest group that competes is 9 and 10 year olds. My 14 year old knew that the adult was acting like an idiot so she found it more amusing than anything - although when I told her she could be banned from playoffs - my daughter said good.

Just imagine having a couple of 13/14 year olds laughing at you as an adult because you were saying something that they know better than to do.

We even had a situation where one of the coaches got a technical foul because he kept mouthing off to the ref after being warned several times. My daughter got called by her coach to go to the free throw line - didn't know why but sank the two - the coach then could only sit and couldn't talk to his team unless he called a time out - what the heck are you teaching your team with this behavior. It was worth it just to make his sh*t his mouth.

I think that would be more painful for someone like that than being banned. And teach a much needed lesson on both sides.

Response moderated: Personal attack. See more info.

What do you mean by that?

Do you really think an adult...or anyone, coming over and saying "You are a joke.", can ever be misconstrued as a 'compliment', as you suggest in your earlier post? Are you truly that obtuse?

in that case I hope you're doing whatever you can do to help the league implement the ban

yup

that's my experience with t-ball around here. After years of being away from tiny tot sports, I have a neighbourhood friend whose 3 year old is starting t-ball and the parents are definitely the problem.

the best people there are the 12 - 16 year olds who help with the wee ones. they encourage every single kid. I kind of love those young tween/teens.

Great point.

Good chance we won't run into her again - unless that team happens to beat another team in playoffs - we get a bye and we play the winners between this team and another (the other team is much better) so this weekend is the last opportunity for us to see this team again as we go off to high school after this.

I did give all the info we had to the coach. It is probably a matter of whether they can identify her or not with our descriptions as no one that witnessed this comment knows this person other than seeing her at this game.