4
   

But its illegal?

 
 
Reply Fri 27 Jan, 2017 11:34 am
Okay so, I've already said that I like my teacher. My best friend ( the singer) in the band says that He (my teacher,25yrs old) stares at me all the time. And flirts with me. I answer to her that of course he looks at me Because he's a teacher and he looks at everybody & that he does not flirt with me. But now when I think about it it might be true. Cant be sure. But yeah, always when I look at him he is already staring and then he smiles when I look at him. And its so cinfusing, because I don't know if I like him or my classmate. Im still afraid that he knows that I like him (because I blush all the time). But he's so cute. Sooooo cute...
Even if something is going on (there is a little chance) is it very illegal for us to date?
 
jespah
 
  6  
Reply Fri 27 Jan, 2017 11:43 am
@theweirdgirl,
You are underage. He could be fired for so much as asking you out. And if you have sex, he might (depends on the law where you live) end up being accused of statutory rape. And in the United States, he would be tagged as a sex offender for the rest of his days.

So yeah, it's a very, very bad idea.

As for him, he should stop staring. He is leading you on and it is unkind at best. Frankly, it's rather creepy.
farmerman
 
  1  
Reply Fri 27 Jan, 2017 12:57 pm
@jespah,
yeh, totally creepy. At worst hes a predator, at best, hes still a predator.

maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Fri 27 Jan, 2017 01:28 pm
@theweirdgirl,
I agree. And let me explain why it is a bad idea.

In a good relationship, the two people involved are equals. They have equal power in the relationship and mostly equal experience. Of course relationships are different... but the fact remains. Relationships that are so unbalanced (like teacher-student relationships) can't possibly be good. And if it goes badly it will go very badly. Teachers are in a position of authority and power. This is a good thing when they are using their authority professionally to do their job (education). It is a very bad thing if they are having a sexual relationship with a student.

You should not even consider doing this in real life. Whether it is illegal or not doesn't change the fact that this is a bad idea that could end up with you getting hurt.
theweirdgirl
 
  -4  
Reply Fri 27 Jan, 2017 01:31 pm
@maxdancona,
But I realllly really really like him :/
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Fri 27 Jan, 2017 01:31 pm
@theweirdgirl,
Leave him alone.

http://able2know.org/topic/364681-1#post-6349464

Leave him alone x 2.

__

You are 15 and could get him into serious trouble.

Wait 4 years. If you're still crushing on him and he is still smiling at you, then maybe.

In the meantime STOP talking to people who know who he is about this. STOP it now. You are going to get him into trouble.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Fri 27 Jan, 2017 01:32 pm
@farmerman,
He's not. She is.

Of course his reputation will be that of a predator but it will be her behaviour that brought the mess on.
maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Fri 27 Jan, 2017 01:36 pm
@theweirdgirl,
Fantasies are healthy, as long as they stay fantasies. It is common for people to have fantasies that are harmful to them or to other people. It is only unhealthy if you have trouble separating fantasy from reality.

It is really the teacher's job here to say "No". I worked as a high school teacher and in my opinion any teacher who has a sexual relationship with a student should be jailed no matter what the student wants. Good teachers are professional, there is is a line between students and teachers. Crossing this line goes against everything that being an educator is supposed to be.

That being said, this is a time for you to let your adult side be in control. If this happens (and the teacher is that unprofessional) it can really hurt you.

Some fantasies should stay fantasies. You will find a relationship that thrills and excites you that isn't so unbalanced, harmful and gross.
0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Fri 27 Jan, 2017 01:44 pm
@ehBeth,
Teachers are held to a professional standard. That includes dealing with randy teenagers. If he is encouraging this in any way then yes he is a sexual predator, and should not be teaching children or vulnerable adults.
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Fri 27 Jan, 2017 01:44 pm
@theweirdgirl,
You are 15.

Leave him alone.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Fri 27 Jan, 2017 01:46 pm
@izzythepush,
Smiling is not predatory.

If I knew how to contact him, I'd suggest he let the principal know that there is a student with a problem in one of his classes and ask to have her moved.
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Fri 27 Jan, 2017 01:48 pm
@theweirdgirl,
theweirdgirl wrote:
My best friend ( the singer) in the band says that He (my teacher,25yrs old) stares at me all the time.


this person is not a good friend

I'm sure it's fun to fantasize that a teacher might reciprocate your crush, it is very bad of the singer to encourage you in those fantasies.
0 Replies
 
theweirdgirl
 
  -1  
Reply Fri 27 Jan, 2017 02:03 pm
@theweirdgirl,
And let's not forget the fact that he is my guitar teacher / band teacher not a school lesson teacher
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Fri 27 Jan, 2017 02:28 pm
@ehBeth,
No it's not, and we've only got one side of the story. If he is behaving in a professional manner then he's got nothing to worry about.

Being handed it on a plate is not a reasonable excuse.

And whether he teaches guitar or maths is irrelevant.

0 Replies
 
CoastalRat
 
  2  
Reply Mon 30 Jan, 2017 07:45 am
@theweirdgirl,
Quote:
And let's not forget the fact that he is my guitar teacher / band teacher not a school lesson teacher
He is still a teacher. He can still be charged with statutory rape. You are still only 15.

Listen to what we are telling you.
0 Replies
 
Iouman
 
  -2  
Reply Thu 16 Feb, 2017 01:43 pm
@theweirdgirl,
Very, very illegal to date.
0 Replies
 
giujohn
 
  -1  
Reply Sun 19 Feb, 2017 06:07 pm
@farmerman,
farmerman wrote:

yeh, totally creepy. At worst hes a predator, at best, hes still a predator.

How in the **** do you get Preditor from all that???
0 Replies
 
perennialloner
 
  3  
Reply Sun 19 Feb, 2017 07:19 pm
@theweirdgirl,
It's against professional policy. If you care about him, you should not want him to get in trouble, which could happen if you continue entertaining the idea of being with him and potentially act on your fantasy.

As people have mentioned, teachers often stare at their students. They are bound to, being in a room with them for however long. It is their responsibility to take an interest in and watch over them. And people generally tend to stare when there are other people around. Often, it's unconscious, and unlikely deliberate.

When a person likes another person, it's easy to start to over analyze. Innocent staring can become leering. Simple friendliness can become an unspoken love language. Plain attentive listening can become "oh-em-gee, they are, like, so into you."

And I think friends--I'm definitely guilty--have a habit of feeding ideas they find exciting, because they're fun to talk about. They don't ever think something will materialize from their fun.

If he touches you in any way that's not the equivalent of a high five or terse pat on the back or inquires about your romantic life, I would however be worried for you. And if that's the case, I would advise you to, at the very least, stop seeing him because that is highly inappropriate. It is taking advantage of you.
0 Replies
 
 

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