The problem is: i have a crush on my imstrument (band) teacher (private lessons with three more kids, 2 boys 1girl) i went to that study in September 2016 and now ive got those feelings that i like him, my teacher. Im scared that he knows already that i like him l, because i always look at him and smile. But i dont understand him though. He gets too close (when others arent around), touches "accidentally" my hand (of course when others dont see), and he teases me all the time. He smiles at every joke i make or when i play a song correctly (yep the song one he's proud). Once when others had to go home earlier, he teached me a new song, kind of, but mostly we just laughed at other's dumbnesses and other things, just stared at eachother and asked questions about everything. Also that same time when i was practising guitar he came behind me and played guitar with me (if you get what i mean) , showing how i should play to get the right sound. I told my internet best friend about the crush and she thinks that im weird because i like an older guy. Even though im 15 and he's 24. Should i get over this crush? How should i get over it? Does he like me? Do i really really like him? I need help, i really need to know how it looks like to other people. :/ pls everyone comment
Young teachers have been getting into this kind of trouble since the beginning of time. And it is trouble for them, because you are underage, and he is in a position of power with you. Young students get crushes all the time and there is nothing wrong with that - it is common and harmless (I recall a crush on an economics professor in college. He was from South Africa and had the most wonderful accent!).
The problem arises when the teacher seems to be encouraging the student in the crush. Now, you may be extrapolating from rather weak data, and seeing only what you want to see. So maybe it's innocent on his part. But if it's not, it is the sort of thing that gets teachers like him fired, and with little hope of getting any other job in teaching.
I know this song is older than both you and your teacher but it does sum things up rather nicely:
Crush all you want. But don't act on it - and take a look at the boys in your school. They may not be as lame you think they are.
Jes I envy your willingness and ability to address such PO's, even more to include an illustration. I had worked at the latter for some 17 or is it 18 years, finally quit trying
Approve closing advice, 'take a look at the boys'
0 Replies
hightor
5
Reply
Mon 23 Jan, 2017 01:01 pm
@theweirdgirl,
If you like this teacher, and respect him, the best thing you can do is to avoid physical contact and cease all and any flirtation immediately. It wouldn't take more than someone having suspicion about an improper relationship and sharing it with the school administration to have this man's career ruined.
Its hard to avoid it because i dont say that i dont like it. nobody actually sees it or suspects. Except that girl I told because she's my best friend in real life. And she says that there is something "going on" but I hope she's just playing around
That can change in a few minutes, that nobody notices. He may have a reputation already. Don't be dumb about this, listen to hightor. Aside from getting caught, there are principles behind the rules, having to do with teachers' power over students, especially underaged students. Also, it's a professional no no for the teacher.
Most of us have had teacher crushes, including me re a teacher in what was probably called music 101, but don't go there. I didn't, but a million years later I remember I liked his suits.
0 Replies
Iouman
0
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Thu 16 Feb, 2017 01:29 pm
@theweirdgirl,
Are you complaining that he's getting too close to you or not? I'm getting mixed signals here. Sometimes it sounds like you want more to happen with your teacher other times not. Do you have some kind of internal conflict going on as well?
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