I constantly grab at my wife, boobs, butt and everything else. I don't do this as a trigger for sex, at least I don't think so. I just like touching her. Before now I would have said she found it somewhat annoying but not a put off. However, the more I read online the more I realize I am most likely way off. I have never thought this would in anyway be a turn on but at the same time never thought it would be a turn off. Until now.
We have sex often and both of us usually "finish" so no issue there. So my question is why do I still do this?
I have read all the threads but they are generally for relationships 101, useful if you are 21 but useless if you are 40.
Is this just who I am and it is ok or has she spent all these years just putting up with it? If so should she have said something or should I just have known?
If I stop then I am not being me. If I continue I am not being something she wants. Is it just it its what it is?
She alone can answer you in any useful manner. I'm a faceless stranger in a crowd. It sounds like you have some awareness she might be put off. Suffice it to say, we all have annoying habits, but....is this one tolerable to her or should some different behavior happen for her happiness?
Talk this out with her. Somehow I suspect there needs to be more of a dialogue about this dynamic.
Fair enough mate - Problem is we talk about everything with the exception of this area. Why? Never asked just felt she has created a block that I shouldn't touch.
Thu 22 Dec, 2016 11:52 pm
But that is part of the problem. She will never say anything.
I have always thought she liked what I did or at least recognized the sign of affection.
In all that time we have never argued or fought. At least until now. I think we have found a resting place but then I did the groping and saw a face I have never seen. Was it random or was it a brief glimpse of something I have chosen to not see before.
Appreciate your comment and think you are right. I give lots of hugs but they often turn into a butt grabs. Thinking it through now I am embarrassed and ashamed. If my hug is meaningless then what do I have to give. Far east mate didn't mean to go this deep but thank you.
Fri 23 Dec, 2016 01:23 am
an absolute muppet
I've got no clues to what this means.
"Muppet" is British and British Commonwealth slang for "fool".
Oh ok. Then is a moppet defined as a Dickensian small child or waif?
A muppet with a U, is a fool, probably because of the American children's TV show where puppets with a hand up their ass talk in silly voices. Especially Kermit the frog. I don't think anyone says moppet for small child or waif very much any more.
Agreed - there's also the question of the wife's personal autonomy. She might have gone along to get along, not saying anything in order to perhaps not trigger a fight. Or maybe she's been told all her life to be happy for any scrap of affection she gets.
If you were my husband, OP, I'd have let you know a long time ago. It can be exceptionally annoying when someone is not feeling well or needs to get some task done and just wants a quick hug but then suddenly it's an ass grab.
One thing I should have mentioned: if you suddenly stop an affectionate gesture that has been going on for 20 years, she will probably wonder what is going on. Like, are you suddenly interested in someone else? It looks like talking this over with her becomes very important.
Fri 23 Dec, 2016 11:54 am
If you were my husband, OP, I'd have let you know a long time ago.
This is what I was thinking. I wonder if his wife either doesn't mind or quite likes him grabbing whatever he grabs. 20 years is plenty of time to get the message across if she doesn't. I have been with my wife nearly 30 years and if I place my hand on her ass she generally does the same to me, or if she is busy she might playfully shove me away and say "get off, you great lummox".
Fri 23 Dec, 2016 12:07 pm
For a person who is 40 years old and feels they don't need the "relationship advice" directed at a 21 year old, he might want to stop acting like a 12 year old.
How the f*ck are we supposed to know why you grab her tits and ass all the time, and how she feels about it?
Fri 23 Dec, 2016 12:11 pm
I don't assume this, but it is possible the fellow's wife was raised to believe the wife submits to the husband. It wasn't all so very long ago that many wives believed that, and no doubt some still do, even in the US.
In my marriage, a grope was a swell idea that led to more fun. Timing can matter though, so maybe people need timing lessons from their spouses. Except to me, grope is somewhat the wrong word, sort of a gross act that isn't actually very sexy.