It's not that I don't have sympathy for you. I do, and empathy also. Addiction to anything is a tough row to hoe.
It's because I have such sympathy and empathy I suggested splitting the cost of a good air purifier, or vaping.
Do you really think you will quit smoking because of this? What about your boyfriend?
Like a lot of people, I used to smoke. I'm not a self righteous former smoker. It's just so long ago, it feels like a different life.
One thing I truly believe is that it is the one in a million smoker who really, I mean really gets how it is for non-smokers to be around them. I sure didn't get it. I understand that smokers really do feel they are being considerate by leaving the room/house to smoke, and they are....as far as they are able to conceive it, and I appreciate that. I have friends who smoke, I love spending time with them. But when I go home the first thing I do is wash my hair and clothes. I don't expect them to understand, as with you. But there it is.
What the smoker doesn't realize is the smoke, or smell of it gets caught in the non-smokers clothes, hair, furniture, drapes, coats the paint on the wall, car and if it happens often enough, gets in there permanently. Honestly? It's not so pleasant even being near you, because you, your breath, your skin, clothes all stink, all the time. It's not (in my case) worrying about 2nd hand smoke, I'm not near it often enough. It is that memories of that smoker linger on for days/weeks/forever. For a non-smoker, the smell of a room that a smoker has used literally smells like there might as well be a 10 pound steaming pile of **** 2 feet from wherever you are.....and I totally get that you can't get that, with no animosity. I'm not going to sugar coat it though. The word "bad" doesn't come near to describing it. That is what your neighbors apartment smell like now. All the time.
That's why I feel so strongly that if your lifestyle creeps into where I live, I really can't "get used to it", especially if I'm paying a big portion of my income to live somewhere and something invades everything I try to do in my home. That leads to the two parties working together somehow.
I also see how she isn't making life optimum for you. She isn't cleaning up after her dog, and that's invading your living space. She needs to get her act together too. She doesn't need to be sanctimonious about it, she's got her part in this too. I sure wouldn't want to have to clean up after her dog.
It's funny how you said if you were in her position, you'd move. However, you also said you couldn't move yourself. She's probably thinking the same about you. Just sayin'.
What about your boyfriend? I mean you may say you'll quit (maybe this was the chance you were looking for), but that doesn't apply to him.
I really don't say any of this to pile on you dupre, but sometimes it just gets all bottled up, and you were my opportunity to let it out. Thanks for that.
Because the bottles open, I'll say two other things I really do resent about smokers, then I'll shut up.
Smoke breaks at work. Just WTF is that all about? I don't care that somene needs to go out in the cold or heat or rain or whatever every hour or 2 for 5 to 10 minutes to smoke. No. What I want is to able to do (if I wanted) is to go outside in the same weather conditions every hour or 2 and for 5 or 10 minutes just stare blankly into space. I can't imagine after awhile I would be called out on it and basically be told I can't just stop working 5 or 6 or 7 times a day, in addition to lunch and just, well, not work.
Insurance. My premiums reflect the additional care that smokers either need or will eventually need. That just bothers me.