If that's everything, you definitely need more, specifically an argument; that's non-negotiable if you want to get a good grade.
What's the point you're making? You seem to be saying society is too focused on beauty, but you haven't explicitly said why that's bad. All you've done is give examples of how society is too focused on beauty. If you wanted to highlight the ways that society reflects a focus on beauty, then those examples could be worked into a thesis. But I don't think that's what you're arguing.
So if you are indeed trying to say society is too focused on beauty, you need to clearly say why you think that.
Society's obsession with beauty is bad because people are treated differently based on their looks... you might add more to your argument; it places unreasonable expectations on people, etc... whatever reasons you think there are for it being bad.
You also might want to think a little bigger. Instead of saying "because people are treated differently" you might say "because it promotes inequality."
Hope that helps.