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A Perpetual Teenager

 
 
Reply Fri 17 Sep, 2004 07:52 am
Character Flaw? A charming Peter Pan? Do I need to buckle down and grow up? Or is this just the way I was made and shaped?

A bad influence on my cubs...or teaching them the value of preserving a youthful outlook?

How many perpetual teenagers out there?

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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 2,038 • Replies: 29
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cavfancier
 
  1  
Reply Fri 17 Sep, 2004 08:03 am
Perpetual teenager? Nah, I aim to be perpetually ten or younger, much to the dismay of some. I don't need the angst, just the freedom. Have you ever noticed that only very young kids and senile old folks can get away with squeezing a donut through their teeth at the dinner table? Why do we go senile when we get old? Because we want to. Wink I love kids....even the ones who people say should have been slapped harder by the doctor.
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thethinkfactory
 
  1  
Reply Fri 17 Sep, 2004 09:17 am
I think terms like Perpetual teenager and Lifetime Child are just labels that are attached to immature behavior to make the 'child' feel better.

I lived my 20's as a perpetual teen - and I was just avoiding the reponsibilities of being a real adult. I wanted it my way and I wanted it my way - now.

I think you are missing out on a lot of indepth liefstyle choices that once you choose them - you will realize that you have been cheating yourself. Being an adult is all about arriving and being in your own skin instead of wanting something external to fix the internal issues that you have.

I think when you live like a child as well people tend to treat you like one. Once you grow up and act maturely you start to see that peoples expectations of you change and that you lived a more inriched and fulfilled life.

No disrespect bi-polar - I think Peter Pan is a sad - sad character that has lied to himself for too long - and never land as an 'adult child' sucks.

TF
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blueveinedthrobber
 
  1  
Reply Fri 17 Sep, 2004 09:20 am
I couldn't agree less.....I have five cubs and a wife that I m responsible for more or less.....my cubs are well adjusted and we haven't missed any meals.....however....growing old inevitable......growing up optional.......or as Jesus said....be in the world but not of it.......
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cavfancier
 
  1  
Reply Fri 17 Sep, 2004 12:10 pm
TTF, part of the joy of adulthood is being able to balance responsibility without forgetting where you came from. I can't tell you the number of over-responsible parents I have met, as an example, who's kids are fretful, anxious and nervy as hell from the pressure to 'grow up'. Part of knowing what it is like to be a kid, as an adult, adds to your understanding of your own children. It helps you appreciate the beauty of their innocence and their development. It's not Peter Pan syndrome, it's a recognition of a very real life phenomenon, that we are all born, we grow and eventually die. We all have responsibilities, but when they consume you utterly, you become a sad, bitter person. I'd rather preserve some of the child in me for those moments that responsibility starts to feel like a vice grip around my head. You can look at the 'responsibility' argument in this way: One moves from the desire for instant gratification to wanting to 'settle things', 'organize' and 'move on' as soon as possible. To me, the motivation is the same. The true 'adult child' has immense patience and compassion, especially with real children.
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willow tl
 
  1  
Reply Fri 17 Sep, 2004 12:15 pm
I think TF needs a noogie :-))
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blueveinedthrobber
 
  1  
Reply Fri 17 Sep, 2004 12:17 pm
or a

((((((((((((((((((((((BEAR HUG)))))))))))))))))))))))))
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extra medium
 
  1  
Reply Fri 17 Sep, 2004 12:18 pm
Was Jesus "mature?" Was Buddha "mature?" Was Leonardo Da Vinci "mature?" How about Einstein?, Newton?

Were these characters "perpetual teenagers?"

I think a case can be made that some of the greatest figures in history had characteristics of "perpetural teenagers." Using many people's definition of "maturity" vs. "living the life of a perpetual teenager," many of the greatest figures in history could be considered immature.

Buddha left his family and became a wanderer for many years. Jesus did the same. Einstein had trouble sustaining adult relationships. etc.

I could just see some ancient farmer saying about Jesus or Buddha: "Why don't they grow up and get a job? Why did they leave their job/family to try to do these outlandish things? Irresponsible! Living the life of a perpetual teenager!"

Plus, there are so many sad/angry people around who want you to live according to THEIR definition of maturity. They are miserable, and they want to see others miserable too. Misery loves company. Its so nebulous. "Oh yeah why don't you grow up and get a big mortgage and rack up huge credit bills so you're chained to working for the man 60 hours/week, like me. What, you don't want to do this? Are you immature or something?"

Oh yes, its real mature to pretty much base one's life on seeing who can make the most money, drive the nicest car, live in the nicest neighborhood, and work long and hard to keep up with the Joneses, die with the most toys, send kids to the more trendy schools so they can grow up, get all mature, and repeat this process until death.

Example: Some would say "The responsible mature thing to do is to join the army and help defend our nation." Great. Get all mature and go kill some innocent person in Vietnam or Iraq or something.

Someone else might say just the opposite: "The responsible mature thing to do is to is protest the war and stop all the senseless killing." Yeah then you're out in the street yelling at some cops or something. Funny thing is, our society for the most part seems to agree that the more mature thing to do is go pick up a gun and kill some stranger in a foreign country. Sick. If thats mature, I'll take the immature route. No killing humans for me, thank you very much.

But anyway, my point is I think the definition of "maturity" is warped by many people.

I think one has to follow their heart, that inner voice, in these matters. And again, as long as it isn't adding to the suffering in this world, its fine.

just my 2.5 cents

flame away
0 Replies
 
George
 
  1  
Reply Fri 17 Sep, 2004 12:20 pm
[email protected], another zit.
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blueveinedthrobber
 
  1  
Reply Fri 17 Sep, 2004 12:21 pm
I don't think TTF is being men spirited or trying to pick a fight, I think just exppressing a strong belief....
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cavfancier
 
  1  
Reply Fri 17 Sep, 2004 12:23 pm
I don't think TTF is looking to be flamed either. As an official adult child, I say let's keep this civil, but if you fart, you don't have to keep it to yourselves. Just don't light them, that's dangerous.
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sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Fri 17 Sep, 2004 12:24 pm
I think you're responsible in the important ways, BPB. If you want to act obnoxious but at the end of the day you're a good husband and provider, sorry, you're not* as immature as you like to pretend. :-)

I think I've told this story before, but I had a friend who was one of those vaunted "free spirits", charming Peter Pans, whatnot. Well, I say friend loosely, he lived across the hall from me and would come sprinting into my room at all hours no matter what I was doing. Would go for a skinny dip in the lake in Madison in Jaunary (after carving a hole in the ice.) Lots of that kind of thing.

One day I was on the fire escape of the several-story building we were living in, he saw a romantic romeo and juliet sort of thing and started climbing up the building towards me. I told him not to in increasingly desperate tones, he kept going. 'Til he fell, three stories, onto concrete. Shattered most bones. Lived, even walked again after a long convalescence. Was several inches shorter than he used to be.

I think that sh!t is f**ed up. People we lived with said, that's just how he is, if he stopped doing stuff like that it wouldn't be him. That would be nice if he lived in a vaccuum -- but 13 years on, I still have nightmares about it. Not to mention the crap he put his girlfriend through while he was recovering and she waited on him hand and foot...

Anyway, I think that if it doesn't hurt anyone in any substantial way (and there's the rub, I guess), do what you will.

*edit: forgot the "not"! Whoopsie. kinda changes the meaning...
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extra medium
 
  1  
Reply Fri 17 Sep, 2004 12:46 pm
Cav & Bipolar,

Did someone flame or pick a fight with TTF?

I'm looking, but I don't see it, unless it's the "noogie" comment by willow? That seems to be kind of a harmless joke?
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thethinkfactory
 
  1  
Reply Fri 17 Sep, 2004 01:17 pm
Damn noogies!!! Almost worse that those bear hugs. :eek:

Did I get flamed?

Yeah, I meant no disrespect.

Here is my 'issue' with this thread right now:

What do you mean by perpetual teenager? I envision teenagers as looking out for themselves - mostly oblivious to the world around them - and for the most part completely egocentric.

You have defined a teenager (if I have it right) as one who takes care or thier kids, has thier priorities straight, and knows how to acuratly predict the results of thier actions.

How is this a teenager?

You all have also defined 'adult' in this negative 'stick in the mud' sort of way. Why does adult have to mean lame - while teenager means responsible?

So - let's define our premises please - BPB - what do you mean by 'perpetual teenager'?

TTF

p.s. I came across strong above - but I think I did so in a respectful way. I am sorry if I offended. Thanks for the noogies and the bearhugs - perhaps I was taking myself TOO seriously.
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cavfancier
 
  1  
Reply Fri 17 Sep, 2004 01:24 pm
extra medium wrote:
Cav & Bipolar,

Did someone flame or pick a fight with TTF?

I'm looking, but I don't see it, unless it's the "noogie" comment by willow? That seems to be kind of a harmless joke?


Laughing Call it a pre-emptive strike. They seem popular these days. Nah, nobody picked a fight. Actually, TTF raises a good question regarding 'perpetual teenager' vs. what I see as 'inner child.' Any thoughts?
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thethinkfactory
 
  1  
Reply Fri 17 Sep, 2004 01:50 pm
if you are talking about inner child - then I am all for it. I still make silly jokes - skip in the mall - and generally act foolish - but I have my responsibilities straight - for once - and feel so much better about being an adult than I did as a child.

Is this what you meant BPB?

TF
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tcis
 
  1  
Reply Tue 21 Sep, 2004 03:29 pm
Bi-Polar Bear wrote:
Character Flaw?


Yes

Bi-Polar Bear wrote:
A charming Peter Pan?


No

Bi-Polar Bear wrote:
Do I need to buckle down and grow up?


Yes

Bi-Polar Bear wrote:
A bad influence on my cubs...?


Yes
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blueveinedthrobber
 
  1  
Reply Tue 21 Sep, 2004 03:33 pm
tcis wrote:
Bi-Polar Bear wrote:
Character Flaw?


Yes

Bi-Polar Bear wrote:
A charming Peter Pan?


No

Bi-Polar Bear wrote:
Do I need to buckle down and grow up?


Yes

Bi-Polar Bear wrote:
A bad influence on my cubs...?


Yes


Do you know my cubs? Teach them? interact with them? They are good students, polite, respectful, intelligent and a delight to all that know them.

Thanks for chiming in though.........
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cavfancier
 
  1  
Reply Tue 21 Sep, 2004 03:38 pm
Very astute observation there tcis Rolling Eyes . My entire family embraces their 'inner child', and they are successful professional people in all manner of work including law, architecture, teaching, medicine, accounting, the list goes on. They have all raised good kids. We still all enjoy a good cuss word or offensive joke once in a while, and truly juvenile practices at family gatherings. That's what it means to be a responsible family, set an example, and let freedom reign when appropriate. Lighten up.
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Phoenix32890
 
  1  
Reply Tue 21 Sep, 2004 03:39 pm
Ahh... I think that there is a big difference between being "childish" and being "childlike". I have never lost my sense of wonder. I like to jump into things just like I were a kid. But I know my responsibilities, and I honor them.

Actually, I really believe that I have been living in a time warp, and I am perpetually 28.......................and then I look in the mirror! Sad
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