What kind of wanker was that ? ! ? ! ?
soiled femur
a worn banker, Setanta... don't get the soiled femur...a case I'm not phronversant with.
lap gapper
claseous gay
job knockey
hand sole
bum scag
scack buttle
mank the sponkey
scan pourer
pea-but nutter
heft-banded hatsman
weft sanded heb lite
hob knead
Trottom bip lemble
knalloping rob got
Wench frank
Bondleferries
Plying fastie
Plash in the fan
Plush fuppies.
Bizzing at the hung fole
Dance the hanket blornpipe
Bafty crutcher
Pluftie chug
This is easy.I feel as dumbed down as a dead Dodo.
BEWARE!ENGLAND!
The Yanks are jealous of our literary tradition.It is a cunning plot to discredit it.They have tried it with Shakespeare and now it is Dr Spooner's turn.They don't come straight out and kick it because they can't so what they do is reduce it to a farce.They undermine it.They set the rust on it.They try to make out that a Spoonerism is something a five year old can do whilst sat on the bog.A few years of that and The Rev Spooner's name becomes a joke and falls away into desuetude out of sheer boredom.
We need to be on our guard.Especially for fifth columnists who suck up to it simply because they find dumbing down an easy option.
Intellectuals of the world UNITE!Defeat this steam-roller gumper or we will be back swinging in the trees before you can say "shove off a shitlle".If we don't grey matter will be as grey as grey gets and the word intellect will cease to have meaning.
Albert!Albert! You will spoil all the fun.This telerivity theory of yours is over their little conks.All the Newtonians will be a trimble in their payplens with their bottom lips up over their proboscises.
After all this site is Able 2 know.Ask an expert.It isn't Party Shop.Our reputation is at stake.
To condense, you would like all Spoonerisms on this thread to make other words, like 'Please hush my brat, it's roaring with pain outside'. Nice idea, but I have a feeling the thread will languish and atrophy for want of takers. Every so often, the five-year-olds will come up with a corker, quite by mistake. So let us play.
Well, as this thread obviously now has its resident wanker, i think we can proceed . . .
. . . gefore at ill bows ho tell in a bandhasket . . .
Clary:-
No.Not quite.I'm not pedantic like that.I would like to move Spoonerisms onto a Joycean plane.Words are funny things.They not only have meaning but they conjure up constellations of images.
Take "crumpling" for example.That isn't a proper word but,at least for some,it suggests possible meanings.Such words I am very much in favour of.
Right?Now "crumpling" can be got from "dumpling" and to get it we have to shift the "cr" to replace the "d" which is then spare and another word has to begin with it which with a little effort we can find and hopefully the find makes everybody smile and if it doesn't we abandon the search and go to another word like,say,"boggle" or "Bonah" the latter leaving you looking for a "J" beginning and,with luck providing a biblical joke.
What all this does besides providing genuine amusement for fellow threaders,my sole aim,is exercise the brain which is excellent medical advice as well.
I hope that is a mere as clud.
A crumb dumpling.I think that the idea,and that is what a word does,of a dumb crumpling is a fairly original image of a not very bright but extremely good looking young lady with a smile on her face and the boys gathered round.The "crumb" is close to perfection itself.It isn't stretching too far.I agree it might not make everybody smile but that isn't the criteria.Trying to amuse everybody is lowest common denominator stuff and is the essence of dumbing down.
And you are too smart for that surely?
I might have got a bit mixed up with the "d" and the "cr" but I am in a rush.Be back in about 90 mins so see if you can explain it better.It will be worth mistressing it.
Clary:-
Take "fast car" over to "cast far".It is technically perfect.A fast car does allow you to cast yourself to a far distance.The problem is that it isn't funny.Thus I would reject it on the smile test.Besides exercise of the brain being healthy so is smiling and laughing even more so.I might be tempted to use it if I couldn't think of anything decent to keep my end up but I would feel a little ashamed of myself for failing to take fellow threaders need to smile now and then more seriously.
At very high levels of Spooning it can get a bit like the differential calculus in mathematics except that the latter,as you must know,isn't humourous until it reaches the sympatote of de mudderlode.
Clary:-(Well you are English).
Don't you think that an excellent example of dumbing down is provided by the use of the epithet "wanker" as an insult considering the word store which has gathered around our beautiful language.The coefficient of dumbing down involved is increased out of all proportion when it is brought to bear on an English intellectual where the word "wanker" being blurted out has about as much effect as the 696,969th particle of drizzle which falls on the umbrella of the aforesaid gent.as he walks home from the pub in his beer coat.
We cannot stand idly by and watch an English Rose from such a lovely place as Totnes being corrupted by the high-flyers from Gumpland.
Instead of forgetting,denying or repressing our original values in the face of this exotic onslaught we must either explexilitely derupiate them or,as I believe is still possible,otimpist that I am,gick to our stuns.
My favourite one makes absolutely no sense, but sounds wonderful. It is what everyone should say when greeting a Policeman when being stopped for drunken behaviour.
"Good Consternoon Aftable"
Moor Pe (Poor Me, but if I spelt it as Pee, I think ppl would take it the wrong way.)
A sninch of puff.
Bumplago
Taplop.
Spussell's brouts
fo and tro
Veletision
Ladio Ruxemburgh
Hexican Mat
Couble drosser
Peat mies
Sorry.I hadn't realised.
Brotch Scoth.
Bitches wroth
Edds and onds
Boss cred
Ladio Ruxembourg.Cadio Raroline.Madio Rersyside
Ladio Rancashire.Rapitol Cadio.Fadio Rour.
Wadio Rales (that's enough. Ed.)
Just one more.(No.Ed.) Oh please! (very well but only one.Ed.)
Yank Thou
Scadio Rotland
Friting Meeday : FranTag McCis.
