Help! Persuading the wife it would be good to move to Sydney

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Hi Guys n Gals,

Wonder if any of you can help me. Question

Currently living in Singapore with all the modern conveniences (nice condo with full facilities, maid... outlaws, sorry inlaws living relatively nearby) and have been offered a juicy deal to move to Sydney. Cool

Problem is wife doesn't believe it will be a better quality of life for us or our family. Crying or Very sad

We went through a tough time with the 2 kids (have a 2.5yr old and 1 yr old kid), very stressful and frustrating, couldn't do anything ourselves, entire time spent dealing with them and their problems etc, until we got a maid. Now life much less stressful, we have time for each other as well as the kids.

I know Aussieland doesn't have maids in the way Singapore does. Nannies are not an option. The maid is there to do the house work with occasional babysitting duties.

So the situation for us would be living in a new place with (initially) no friends or family nearby to help out when things get on top of us, or during those little kiddie emergencies one tends to have Shocked

Basically a return to our previous stressful life with even less help available since inlaws can't pop down to help.

I've tried suggesting that there are good childcare facilities, nurseries etc that we could use, but wifey throws out all sorts of concerns. Trustable, different people all the time, cost, etc etc.

Basically everything I suggest to try and help ourselves out, she counters either with some negative aspect or with questions I simply cannot answer because I've never lived there.

How do people cope over there with 2 young kids and nothing but 'professional' help available ? How good is the prof help and is it available 7 days a week (what kind of hours ?) or only 5 days a week etc.

I just know that with much lower humidity etc, there will be so much more to do with the kids outdoors etc, but can understand my wife's fears of not having the time or energy to take advantage of it.

Any advice etc gratefully received.

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I can understand your wife's concern!

There just isn't the same provision or culture of service here as in Singapore. Child care facilities are available, but may not be available 7 days/week.

Families with 2 kids manage - especially if one member doesn't work - but it will certainly not be the same as Singapore. They share house duties so they both have time off.

Certainly, the kids can be outside for most of the year, but there isn't that fallback position, with maids and families.

Especially if your wife is Singaporean, she may be quite unhappy here - unless she's flexible and resourceful.

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Hi Margo

Surprisingly it appears my outlaws were the ones who persuaded her that this would be a good move. Shocked

Thanks for your response though.

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Hey Ulic,
Glad to know you are keen to go Sydney as I am planning to move there in 6mths time. Hey I am from Singapore too.
When I was 15, I stay in a Aus family(Perth) for 9 days in an sports exchange programme. I came back having this lifetime dream of living there one day.
Families there have more(or much much more) private life than ppl in Singapore. We Singaporean practically have no life--study 20yrs for the sake of work, and work a lifetime till we die. In this process, there is no breathing space. Either you spend the whole day studying or working, or worst still-work and study at night.
So reason No.1 for your wife: Do you want your child to go through the **** we gone through? In Australia, children are free to pursuit their dreams. Anything is fine and acceptable in the society as long as its your dream. NOT in Singapore. Children here have 'dreams':get an A, get in good school, be the elite, make money... And we know its more of no choice then dream. What if we don't follow? >>> Left behind!!! Boo! Do your child a favour, get them a REAL life.
Reason No.2: You want to work in somewhere where they say you are useless when you are old or, somewhere where the society is thankful of your contribution when you are old.

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ComingSoon
Welcome to A2K.

There seems to be an absolute avalanche of people planning to move to Sydney - there's a number of threads on it.

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Hi margo,
I am surprise to receive your welcome message.
True warmness and kindness are rare in my society, unless you are smartly dress, or you are a tourist. That is why I am impress by your greeting.
Three cheers for people like you.
Can't wait to be there...

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coming soon and Ulic,

I am a Singaporean too, already living in Sydney. I like this place a lot because I finally have my weekends free.. Smile

However, coming soon, life in Aussie is not all the prefect picture. The concerns Ulic's wife have are very valid. As the cost of labour here is high, there are many roles you have to be ready to take on yourself, e.g. childcare.

I think life here are not easier, but it is fulfilling. You have to take care of your own kids, but at least you will be by their side.

Utlimately, I think the best is to really consider what do you want out of your life.

Coming soon, I really hope the Singaporeans you met are not that bad... My friends in Singapore are all nice, friendly people. Smile

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Hey there Ulic...We have had experience on both sides of this debate. My husband has an uncle who is married to a Singaporian lady, they came to Australia for a while, and have now moved to Hong Kong.

The things they liked; freedom from having to act a certain way "keep up apperances" etc; wide open spaces, parks etc, less presure in the schools, friendly people, many asian areas, so access to food and herbal medicines which they were familiar with.

The things they disliked; the wife is very quiet and shy, so she found it hard to make friends- things that usually work for meeting people when you have kids- playgroups, parties etc- didn't work for her because she didn't want to talk to anyone; no hired help- it is available, but more expensive than singapore- $16-$18 aus dollars an hour for casual sitters, around $70-$80 aus dollars a day for childcare.; language barrier.

From my point of view, I say it depends alot on your personality. If you are outgoing and friendly, and your kids the same, then no worries, people will be friendly and kind. If you are shy and reserved, it will be much harder. I tried with this Auntie, to have her come and play with my son. After 5 times, I gave up. Kids will make friends if they are well behaved and kind. Some of the children my son made friends with are no longer welcome in my home as they are rude, disrespectful and rough.

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ComingSoon wrote:

Hi margo,
I am surprise to receive your welcome message.
True warmness and kindness are rare in my society, unless you are smartly dress, or you are a tourist. That is why I am impress by your greeting.
Three cheers for people like you.
Can't wait to be there...

Interesting....
I would see my response to you as normal hospitality. An Australian welcome.

Also, as an older member of this site (both in years and membership!), I have some responsibility to make new visitors welcome and encourage them to contribute. This site is a sort of family or bunch of friends - and has much to keep you interested. Look around the site & get involved (but not addicted!)

You are, of course, smartly dressed!? (just as well this is not computervision - be absolutely no-one here when I'm on! Rolling Eyes

)

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hi ulic
she does not want to come to australia
do not force her she wont be happy
dont know what dress has to to do with anything
most of us australians are fairly sloppy,just look
around the streets.
gwen 39

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WHAT? THEY DON'T HAVE MAIDS IN AUSTRALIA?

OUTRAGEOUS!

(next they'll be saying that valets are a thing of the past)

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Valet....is that some sort of car thingy!?

Or perhaps a sort of dance?

You're not made to do anything much here.....

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Help! Persuading the wife it would be good to move to Sydney

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