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Me (27yo Male) and my mate (22yo Male) have this unusual connection. Is it normal?

 
 
Reply Thu 4 Feb, 2016 01:58 am
I'm not sure if it's a question, but I'm wanting to see if this is normal within some friendships. I will try to keep this as simple as possible and try to get straight to the point.

I've been friends with a mate of mine going on 10 years. It's been in the last 6 years or so that we have been pretty close friends. It was in the last 4 years we have found that we have this "unusual" or "weird" connection between each other. It's not like a connection you get with a normal friendship.

An example may be, if something happened to me, like I lost someone close to me, the same thing will happen to him within a few months of each other. And vise versa, if something happened to him, something very similar will happen to me.

We both have been through so much together, both good and bad it's actually a surprise that we are still friends. But if it wasn't for this connection that we have with each other we probably wouldn't be friends right now.
I can go into more detail if this still doesn't make sense, but all I want to know is, is this sort of connection normal with friendships? Maybe it's normal for a soul mate but we are both straight and we are not attracted to each other. Normally I would be like, maybe I'm thinking too much into it, but he has told me he feels the same way about this connection we have.

It is normal? Does anyone else have these sort of experiences with close friends of theirs? Any guys experience something like this with their mates? As far as we are aware, we have not found anyone else with a similar connection.
 
jespah
 
  4  
Reply Thu 4 Feb, 2016 05:46 am
@wonwonnz,
These are called coincidences.

You are both at an age when grandparents or much older aunts and uncles will die (or teachers or neighbors). You both get that within a few months. So what; you have thousands of experiences between, say, January 1 and May 1 of any given year. Both experiencing a death within your circle? Pretty damned typical.

You're also both at a stage in life where you may be meeting people to date or breaking up with them, or are having relationship issues with parents, or are looking for a new place to live or have mid- to lower-tier jobs and commensurate relationships with your supervisors.

You may be more aware of this because you are close friends and share more confidences, but try talking to a few other guys within your collective age group (20s) and you'll see similarities there as well.

You are also using something referred to as a confirmation bias. This is where you are mainly seeing things in the context of whether they confirm what you're suspecting. Try approaching your ideas from a different angle. What else happened during the time period or January 1 to May 1 (or whatever time sample you like)? Did you both go out for coffee every morning? So did thousands of other people. Did you both start new jobs? So did thousands of other people. Did you both have health scares? Lose a pet? Buy a condo? Take up hang gliding? Even the hang gliding is done by thousands of people, and the combination isn't even that significant or unique, sorry.
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PUNKEY
 
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Reply Thu 4 Feb, 2016 07:17 am
You have a best friend. Don't overthink it. Just enjoy it.

He'll make a great Best Man at your wedding.
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CalamityJane
 
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Reply Thu 4 Feb, 2016 12:40 pm
@wonwonnz,
These are just coincidences, nothing else.

Or, if you want to believe it, you could have bad luck and it rubs off on your friend, or vice versa. Cool
0 Replies
 
 

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