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He says he doesnt love me but I don't believe him please help

 
 
Reply Sat 7 Nov, 2015 10:01 pm
Please help me I don't know what to believe anymore. I've been madly in love with a man for 4 years. We have never dated but we may as well have. He came out of a terrible relationship with a woman he ended up having a child with. He's very confusing and sends mixed signals. In my heart I know I love him and in my gut I feel he truly loves me. But I've been second guessing my gut for a long while now. Every so often he seems to purposely hurt me very bad. He will send all of the signals he usually does when he's in love but claims different. When he has money he will buy me things I need and he tells his friends he loves me sometimes hell get cuddly and he wants nothing but to be around me. He says over text I'm different and in person when he looks at me he can't help but love me. I'm very confused obviously.. hell freak out mostly over text or in person while he's still mad about a fight we recently had over text. But not at random in person. He'll say he doesn't love me. That I'm childish and he doesn't want the drama. When I'm absolutely sure I have very little other than what he stretches and creates into a huge deal. A few days later hell be fine. I'm worried he truly doesn't love me and he's talking to other women and my parents are right about him only wanting me when convenient to himself. But in the same breath I feel he really needs me but doesn't know how to show it like he has said and he is scared to commit himself to something long term again because even though we are long term it becomes more evident to some people when they have a label. I've tried everything nd I don't know what else to try to get him to push the fear away and push my flaws away and realize I have so much more good than bad to offer so I figured I'd try an outside source. He causes me a lot of pain but even more pain is caused by not being around him. I feel like with advice I can conquer this and that when we are really committed there will be no need to stretch drama and create problems. Because then we're both not worried about both our own and the others boundaries . I'm in desperate need of help this is my last chance. Please don't let me down I'm not ready to give up on my soul mate.
 
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Sun 8 Nov, 2015 07:43 am
@Hopeless romantic,
Oh sheesh, cut the drama.

This is not your last chance unless you're on your death bed.

You're not?

Good. Then there are other people out there.

Being pals for four years is not the same as dating. In your own words, he purposefully hurts you very badly. What he tells his friends is immaterial - his actions speak louder than his words.

Why are you wasting your time with him?
Hopeless romantic
 
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Reply Sun 29 Nov, 2015 08:21 pm
@jespah,
Well I guess I don't leave him because I love him and I can see a bright future. Normally my guts right and it tells me he loves me. His actions towards me speaks that but he purposely hurts a lot of people in his life. I'm just so beyond confused that I don't know where to go. Nor have I been successful in being able to leave him. He gives me hopes and I have dreams and at this point I don't know what parts of his drastic emotional changes to believe... plus it's been more than friends for years and years it just hasn't progressed he keeps putting off us being official because of our age difference and court with his child's mother where if he pisses her off she'll go to court and hell be charged and if he keeps her on his good side she won't show up and hell have a clean slate but sometimes I feel that's an excuse to keep me around easier although other than his feelings for me I can't see what would benefit him by keeping me around. It's a rough situation for me
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