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How to tell if a guy likes me?

 
 
Reply Tue 15 Sep, 2015 10:50 pm
I met this guy through a mutual friend, and now really like him a lot even though I barely know him. Everytime we talk, it's always fun and we always laugh and smile - we have complete chemistry. It's like when in a movie you see snippets of two people's relationship and you're just like "yup, they belong together." I feel like it's like that when we talk--he always pays attention to what I say and makes really good eye contact and says goodbye to me whenever our little chats are over; he's very polished and put together and is very polite and kind, and we just laugh when we talk, we are on the same page about things. When I first met him a few months ago (and up until a couple weeks ago), he had a girlfriend for over two years and I am only assuming he's single because now he has no relationship to show on fb, when before it said "____ is in a relationship with____" so I'm assuming he's single? But you never know, maybe he and the gf broke up, took it off facebook, then got back together, and didn't put it back up. Or maybe they broke up and he is done with girls for awhile. You never know someone's scenario, but I like swear to god he likes me just because we have so much chemistry whenever we talk. But that could be me misinterpreting his words/actions--who knows, maybe he likes me as a sister or a friend and has no romantic feelings for me at all.

I need to figure out if he likes me or not, but I don't know how to go about it because I don't want to ask our mutual friend, who is a great kid but like I hate spilling the beans to people I am not extremely close to. I guess the other option is to ask this kid if he likes me myself. But obviously I want to avoid that. So what should I do???

Also, this kid who I like and I are not friends; like we get along great when we see each other, but we don't text or facebook message or snapchat. We're not like on that level yet. I don't know what to do about this. I need to find out if he likes me because I am crushing so hard!!!!!
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jespah
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Sep, 2015 07:25 am
@lovernotafighter,
Don't involve go-betweens.

Here's an idea. Ask him out. It's 2015; he'll probably be thrilled. Just say, "Hi, ___ (whatever his name is)! Want to get a coffee?" Or a soda if you don't drink coffee.

Go and have fun and, if it's as great as you imagine, ask him to go out again and make it clear. Actually say words like these, "Can we get together again? But for a real date this time."

And see what happens.

See coffee (or soda) is easy. It is utterly noncommittal, so if it's not going so well, you can fob it off as a drink between friends and not frame it as a bad date.

If he says no but it's a scheduling thing, give him few possible dates, or ask him when he's free. If he says he has a girlfriend (or boyfriend - don't judge!) or he's not interested in you that way, then accept that and be gracious.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained, but at least you'll know, instead of trying to read tea leaves.

Name your first kid after me.
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PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Sep, 2015 07:59 am
I'm confused. You say you talk, you say you have "chemistry" - yet you don't even know if he has a GF or how he feels. That doesn't make sense.

Start at the beginning: he is an acquaintance. You really don't know him. You want to find out about him. So you have to talk and ask the right questions.

Scale back on the "crush" stuff until you really get to know this guy.
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ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Sep, 2015 08:15 am
quoting -
"Also, this kid who I like and I are not friends; like we get along great when we see each other, but we don't text or facebook message or snapchat. We're not like on that level yet. I don't know what to do about this. I need to find out if he likes me because I am crushing so hard!!!!!"

What gives you the idea that doing facebook or texting or snapchat is a mandatory step for friendship or "liking" someone? Talk with him, as Jespah suggested. Get a soft drink or go out for a snack somewhere or go for a walk, you know, something real.
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