Asking for sugar at restaurant

It sounds like it could be mom trying to teach her 7 year old restaurant manners. In any case anytime a wife acts like she does not want hubby to be happy, especially when it is easy to make him happy.....

"would not submit"....now there is a thought.

I sometimes have to ask for salt in restaurants because it is not on the table and once a waiter said "The chef decides how much salt you need in a dish". Cheeky bastard. I said "Fine, cancel the order, I'm going" and left. A friend said he went in there a month later and there was salt on the tables.

You evidently see where I'm coming from.

In most of Europe you'll get white sugar - brown is rare. For tea you mostly get candi sugar. Honey too.....
Just tell your wife you have European background and insist on white sugar.

Bottom line: if this is the only problem you two have, consider yourself very very lucky

I never saw Americans putting brown sugar in coffee till the 80's , and even now white is the norm where I live.

And now, for a musical interlude....

or my preference

Then there's The Archies, Sugar Sugar Candy Girl





(so far, I pick the Stones.....

I think)

Do you see what I did there? You are attacking this man.... I don't think you would have the same negative reaction toward a woman in the same situation.

For the record, I think your wife is being ridiculous. Asking for white sugar is a completely reasonable thing to do.

That has happened a bunch to me. I get " the chef believes that the plate is properly seasoned", to which I say " I am the one paying, so I will decide if it is properly seasoned". I also get " the chef believes that seasoning covers up the natural flavor of the food", to which I say "I get that your chef is ignorant, now please bring me some salt".

These asshole chefs who dont understand who's opinion matters is another subject but a good one.

Another pet peeve of mine is front of the house people who decide that we dont need spoons anymore, so they either dont have any or they only give you one if you order soup (which is not on a lot of menus now). Three times I have ordered shellfish in broth, and had to argue with waitstaff to get a spoon so that I could eat the broth. They also often dont anymore have a bread suitable for dipping in the broth, which is ******* ridiculous. I ask for bread and I am just as likely to get cornbread or some kind of a cracker.

I often eat at restaurants where the chef reccomends how to get your entree cooked and how to eat. He is certainly allowed to reccomend. I have a friend who is a salt freak n winds up with a hailstrm of salt crytals on his food. The way he does it makes it inedible. Sometimes the chef will come out of the kitchen to discuss the dish and how he reccomends using a "SCirocco SUnset salt or a pink seasalt (lots of algae flavor).
I usually follow the reccomenations of the chef because , if Ive not had that dish before, what anoints me as the expert?

So you both are playing alpha gorilla?eh.

Maybe you were just responding n kind. Waiter with attitude, responded to be Hawkee with attitude.

We usually go out to eat dinner two or three times a week . Lunches are sometimes weeks without going out to the other extreme.

Weve been eating lunch at a neat little Kerala cuisine restaurant in Newark Del about 3 times a week when we can. Ill be home this week and the Kerala guys will be seeing us and we usually get vegan one day and some meat the next. Its really good curries and often Bino, the cook (he calls himself a cook) comes out and , with a great smile announces the special "roadkill" for the day. We taught him the significance of "Road Kill" and he adopted it like a comedian. He tells us the curry strength an what to hoose as sides to influence the flavor and the potential pain.

Im amazed at how infrequently I ven use salt at a good restaurant.
I will use slt on fried eggs and fresh pepper chunks , I will have the waiter douse my psta with thoe curly plane shavings of Parmesano Reggio. .

Even soups, o I hardly ver salt them because the chef is usually right, they are done prfectly and salt is a cover-up.

Im a iner who votes with his feet. I wont argue about not getting crusty bread for a dip for my SZUPPE DE COZI or a seafood broth (linguini with a winey white clam broth needs a crusty Italian bread , freshly maade and cut on a diagonal. Ill eat the crap food and not ever come back. The reason restaurants are one of the most volatile businesses is that the hef owners dont get it. They often serve what THEY like , not what the customer likes
Their job is to reccomend , not insist

Chefs around here tend to under salt the food, not have salt on the table, and when one asks for salt we get a nice sized pile of really good salt. I can and do deal with that. But if I have to argue to get salt, a spoon, or real bread and butter I am not going to be paying another bill at that establishment. This is my line in the sand.

And these assholes need to stop giving me a tiny sliver of crap baking butter with no salt and no flavor for my bread, dumping some amount of sea salt over the top....it is never the right amount of salt, and there is never anywhere near enough butter.

The long habit of chefs ******* up bread and butter service never stops amazing me. Back in the 70's and 80's we had this great restaurant with top of the line baked in house bread with great butter, a little loaf on a wood cutting board at the table with a steak knife...they did this for near 20 years.... and then one day Chef Dale gets a wild hair up his ass and decided to change that for potato donuts and jam. WTF! This was a steak and seafood place, I dont want no ******* donuts before dinner, or with my steak or with my seafood.

A new twist around here on Bread and butter service is that it is not included in the meal, it is usually 3.95 , and add another 3.95 if you ask for more than the 10-12 bites they serve. When I am paying $30 or more for an entree excuse me but bread and butter should be included.

Holy crap.
It's a restaurant.
You're paying for that cappuccino.
You can ask for any damn sweetener you want.

As a sophisticated hipster, however, I scorn any sweetening of a cappuccino.
Philistine.

..made me laugh, but you're right, in my view, though I do put some in espresso.

If you drink esppresso like a Neapolitano, they leave a layer of sugar sludge in the bottoms of their cups. I always thought I liked sugar , then I went to Napoli

The place I was whining about putting sugar in for me (egads!!!) is one of the better known caffes in Rome, http://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurant_Review-g187791-d797619-Reviews-Bar_Sant_Eustacchio_il_Caffe-Rome_Lazio.html

But, I've had dozens if not a hundred or more espressos in Rome and got to put in my own tad of sugar at all the other places. The Bar Sant'Eustacchio guy wasn't testy about my wanting their small sugar concoction replaced, nice enough about it.

This was in contrast to a place I ordered a latte once, must've been on my first trip, and I got just that, a glass of hot milk. That taught this tourist a lesson, by gum. In that case, the barrista was disgruntled, and .. he was right to be, caffe latte being the phrase if I wanted espresso in the milk. I was humbled. But.. the eventual c. latte was good and the dolci were wonderful.


Meantime, it's raining and the sun is out.

As a company and employee for a restaurant you are there to serve you're customers! If you want white sugar it is white sugar they get!

From my view their managers will only want what will make the customers happy.... That's how their business grows and how they make money through customer satisfaction!

You did nothing wrong.

You are not wrong at all. You are in a restaurant == you should get what you want. Asking nicely for the correct sugar is not wrong. Yelling at the waitstaff because of it would be -- but you didn't do that. It should be expected for you to ask for what you really want - you are paying for it. A restaurant (or at least a good one) would want you to be happy and enjoy what you ordered.

To be honest, I don't understand your wife's issue. This is the waitstaff's job, to make sure you are served with what you want and how you like it.