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Seeing a suicidal girl

 
 
Reply Fri 3 Jul, 2015 12:00 pm
Basically, I've started seeing this girl and we've done enough where we know we like each other (holding hands, cuddling, kissing and sexual things) but I know that she had problems, she's told me everything about her problems and said that's why she doesn't know if she wants a relationship or not as it will get in the way and scare me off. Multiple times I've told her I'll always be here to help her and I'll never get scared off. She is a bit strange over the phone; the way she talks is like she can't be bothered talking to me and it's always me who starts the convo. But because she's so into me in person, I've come to realise that's just how she is over the phone. She just got put in a facility a couple weeks ago to get the help she needs and she managed to get her phone, I've spoke to her briefly. She said she's looking forward to catching up when she's out and we spoke about other little things. But she just isn't starting convos with me. I really miss her and I feel like she just doesn't miss me at all. Do you think the reason she isn't trying to start chats with me is because she has these issues and she doesn't wanna speak to me specifically because she might start to feel attached and that's summit she doesn't want right now? Because she's talking in the work group chat we have with friends and is quite active on twitter so it isn't that she's busy and can't speak. Any help or advice or anything would be brill, thanks
 
jespah
 
  5  
Reply Fri 3 Jul, 2015 12:06 pm
@Conleach97,
This is above your pay grade.

She has major problems and needs to concentrate on getting well. She is busy - with that.

She is also (likely) depressed. Depressed people tend to shut down and don't offer much of themselves. It's one of the hallmarks of depression, to isolate yourself from the world, or think the world doesn't need you, or some combination thereof.

Be kind. Be patient. Try not to put demands on her time and energy. She needs to concentrate on getting better, not on whether she's sent you a text or acknowledged a tweet or started an email string.
0 Replies
 
juliareiner
 
  1  
Reply Fri 3 Jul, 2015 01:38 pm
@Conleach97,
This is your time to shine! Be there for her, and don't expect her to warm up to you like you're her savior or something. She'll know what you did in time. This will be a good experience to get to know her. She may not be ready for a "normal" relationship yet but this is no reason to abandon her. Smile Good luck!
Conleach97
 
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Reply Fri 3 Jul, 2015 02:32 pm
@juliareiner,
Thankyou! Finally an answer who is on the same level as me. Everyone has just been telling me to ditch her. But I like her too much where I can't. I just wanna help her
jespah
 
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Reply Fri 3 Jul, 2015 06:55 pm
@Conleach97,
Help her by giving her the opportunity to get well.

Being the one who constantly helps and saves can get awfully wearying, fast.
0 Replies
 
Ragman
 
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Reply Fri 3 Jul, 2015 07:35 pm
@Conleach97,
someone who is or has been suicidal and is receiving therapy ... has help..professional help. When, if ever, the right time occurs for you to have some sort of relationship...that time is NOT now.
0 Replies
 
 

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