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Confused in France; dinner with French girl, but still not a date?

 
 
van1van
 
Reply Sun 7 Jun, 2015 03:56 pm
Anyone familiar with French women/culture can connect to this?


I (31) met her (French woman, 33) at a meetup, we hanged out that day for 3 hours. And the following weekend for another 7 hours (2 hangouts so far, 10 hours in total) During these times, I friendly touched her back at times, the touch wasn't returned, but she didn't mind, and chatted with me nicely.

During the second 7 hour-long hangout, I asked her to dinner this Friday. She agreed, after a shy smile. Later on, when I asked whether this could be a date, first she said a brief 'ok', and I kissed her cheek. But then she said I'm just a friend to her and she doesn't feel attracted to me, at least now. But the dinner and a movie are still on this Friday.While leaving at the end of the second hangout, I kissed both of her cheeks a bit passionately (not just blowing the air with mouth). Again no resistance, but no return. The week after, we chatted on the phone for over an hour. We texted from time to time. She wrote me an email giving me some suggestions of French movies, but without mentioning my name. During the phone convo., I asked the correct pronunciation of her name, and I did call her by her name couple of times, but she never even bothered to call my name.

I'm confused. In the US, I could almost never imagine a newly met woman going out with me on a dinner and movie, if it's not a date. I'm definitely thinking of paying for the dinner, and kissing her at least a little despite the fact that she said I'm just a friend.

Anyone else had strange experience with French women? Thanks!
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Type: Question • Score: 8 • Views: 2,305 • Replies: 37
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jespah
 
  1  
Reply Sun 7 Jun, 2015 05:46 pm
@van1van,
Why not? You're buying her food and entertainment for one evening, and seem willing to do so despite the fact that she's told you it's a lost cause.
0 Replies
 
CalamityJane
 
  2  
Reply Sun 7 Jun, 2015 06:56 pm
@van1van,
You date in the U.S. but not in Europe, or at least it's not called that way.
First you get to know the girl on a friend basis and if it evolves to something more - great ! If not, you still can remain friends.

So, hang out with her if you want to, but don't expect anything. Also, most women in Europe are accustomed to paying their own way. Going to the movie and dinner with her doesn't necessarily mean you're hosting her.
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sun 7 Jun, 2015 07:01 pm
@van1van,
Hi Vani. Can I ask what your first language is?
0 Replies
 
van1van
 
  -2  
Reply Mon 8 Jun, 2015 12:16 am
@van1van,
Hey guys, thanks in advance if you could give me an informative answer. If you can't, please do refrain from making jokes or sarcastic comments. Thanks!
Lordyaswas
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Jun, 2015 12:28 am
In England during the 70's, we always used to make a point of going Dutch on the first date.

Usually the boy would wear clogs and carry an edam, and the girl would don a lace pinny and that pretty little bonnet with the turned up ends.



"I saw a mouse. Where? Under the stair, under the stair right there, a little mouse with clogs on, well I declare going clip clippety clop on the stair......right there"
Walter Hinteler
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Jun, 2015 12:31 am
@van1van,
van1van wrote:

Hey guys, thanks in advance if you could give me an informative answer.
You've got some.
0 Replies
 
Walter Hinteler
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Jun, 2015 12:34 am
@Lordyaswas,
Well, in England in the 60's, you called it date afterwards, loud singing either the lyrics of "Yesterday" or "Get back".
Lordyaswas
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Jun, 2015 12:56 am
@Walter Hinteler,
Well, my sisters usually called it a date when one of them was caught snogging a lad outside our house, after he'd walked her home from the local dance.


See instructional video......

Walter Hinteler
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Jun, 2015 01:32 am
@Lordyaswas,
We had had a couple of drinks in a pub in a Cornish harbour town. Later, carried on drinking and smoking around a fire at the beach.
One of the girls asks some of us to go in her parent's "beach hut", which actually was a kind of mini castle.

20 years later, my father was watching tv when I came in his room. I didn't know what the film was about, but said: "Oops. That's 'xxx of xxx'" "You know her? It's a documentary about a millstream estate." "Had a date with her ages ago."
Lordyaswas
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Jun, 2015 01:38 am
@Walter Hinteler,
If you'd have followed it up with flowers and love letters, you could have been a key member of our aristocracy, Walt.


Wasn't Colan (Newquay area), was it?
Frank Apisa
 
  0  
Reply Mon 8 Jun, 2015 03:06 am
@van1van,
van1van wrote:

Hey guys, thanks in advance if you could give me an informative answer. If you can't, please do refrain from making jokes or sarcastic comments. Thanks!


Lots of luck with that!
0 Replies
 
Walter Hinteler
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Jun, 2015 03:08 am
@Lordyaswas,
No, on the other side.
0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Jun, 2015 04:21 am
@van1van,
You've been told she's only interested in you as a friend. She's probably just doing her best to show a stranger around town.
van1van
 
  0  
Reply Mon 8 Jun, 2015 06:43 am
@izzythepush,
Showing a stranger around town: that's not the case. None of us is a traveler. We met at a bar during a meetup, and we agreed on doing some language exchange. But during that time, she also said that we could do some activities together, like she'd show me how to cook crépes etc. In the alst hangout, it was her idea to have a picnic in the park. So I don't think she's my 'tour guide' here.
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Jun, 2015 07:37 am
@van1van,
It's called "hanging out."

Don't worry about what it's called. Just enjoy it and see if it goes anywhere. Let HER make the romantic move if it's meant to be. Be patient.

Otherwise, it's just hanging out.
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Jun, 2015 09:45 am
@van1van,
You're still a stranger in a strange land learning about French culture. I'd be happy to tell you a bit about the English culture were you to get over the channel, but I wouldn't consider it a 'date,' or anything remotely like that.

I doubt any of us would consider any sort of hitch up to be a formal 'date,' we don't tend to have such a formal system over here, people just hang out. Going on a date sounds like something out of Happy Days.
Lordyaswas
 
  0  
Reply Mon 8 Jun, 2015 09:48 am
@izzythepush,
You dancing?
You asking?
I'm asking.
I'm dancing.

izzythepush
 
  0  
Reply Mon 8 Jun, 2015 09:54 am
@Lordyaswas,
What's got four legs, walks peculiar
Talks with all the choicest words
What's got four arms, loves to grab you
Answer is two Liver Birds.
If you're standing on the corner, All alone and feeling low. Liver Birds will come and grab you singing ee i ad ee o.
Lordyaswas
 
  0  
Reply Mon 8 Jun, 2015 09:55 am
@izzythepush,
You knew it!


http://www.virginmedia.com/images/liver-birds-290x400.jpg
 

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