CHURCHILLIUS.
Fragments of a Lay sung in the Forum, showing how M. Curtius Church-
illius made an Alarming Sacrifice of himself, and got into a rather
big hole—and out again.
Ye good Men of the Commons, with sturdy souls and true,
"Who stand a lot from smart young men that make good sport for
you,
Come, make a circle round me, and mark my tale with care,
A tale of what you once have borne, and yet may have to bear.
This is no common fable—'tis worthy of the Nine,
Of the great rhetor's flowing phrase and loud-resounding line.
Here, in this very Forum, under the noonday sun, _
In sight of all the Parties, the daring deed was done;
Nay, there be those among you who saw it, I dare say,
But none the less yon '11 lend an ear to my heroic lay.
His " lay," too was heroic; the slangy phrase excuse;
There's nothing voted duller than a too punctilious Muse. _
Just ask Bret Harte—or Browning ; the latter bard, at times,
"Will lick the former hollow for larky words and rhymes.
The " lay " then of Chtjrchillitjs was most heroic; yes,
And heroism rather pays if managed with success.
That gap which in the Forum had opened gaped so wide,
Black Auster, Archer up, had failed to take it in his stride.
It yawned like any Churchyard, the muzzle of a Krupp,
Or the tired Member late at night when Contbeare is up;
It yawned and kept on yawning, insatiate as Sin
Or Death, no matter who was Out, no matter who was In.
Taxation would not fill it, though like a Danae shower
Poured into it by clay and night with ten-Niagara power;
E'en Blue Books failed to brim it; nay, there were those who "swore
The speeches of Gladstonius, like the sands on Ocean's shore
For multitude unnumbered, and like Mundella's nose
Or the Commercial Road, for length, which one might well suppose
Would block the Vast Inane itself, were as one pinch of snuff
In Thorold Rogers's mighty beak, not nearly quantum stiff.
Then up and spake Churchillius ; unto himself spake he:
" In this same all-devouring gulf I rather think I see
An opening for a smart young man. I'm young and I am smart.
I see my role's to fill that hole; I'm game to play the part."
Churchillius was Chancellor; for that he cared no jot.
" This is," said he, " the sort of place where rubbish may be shot
For ever and for ever with none effect at all.
A Sacrifice is needed here! A leap is not a fall.
I take the jump but as a step toward my destined goal,
And the result will tell us who is ' left in the hole.' "
Then up and spake Churchillius, unto the House he spake :
" Commons, too long this gaping gulf hath made you gasp and. quake.
As to the Curtius Lacus the oracle of old
Announcement made which I '11 apply, if I may he so bold.
"Whatever was most precious the Romans had to throw,
A sacrifice, into that hole ; this is a similar go.
Therefore I'm clearly singled out by a sagacious Fate
To play the sacrificial part, and so to save the State.
Oh, don't be flabberghasted ; the voice of destiny
Declares that ere this gulf is closed, a Chancellor must die.
And how can one die better than facing a big cropper,
On it, and eightpence in the pound, to put a final stopper ?
Churchillius gaily mounted upon his gallant steed.
His ligneous horse (spotted of course) of the famed Hobby breed.
" Retrenchment" was the charger's name, from the Gladstonian stud,
By " Vigilance " out of " Vectigal," higher in bone than blood.
He donned his helm and buckler, he bared his trenchant blade,
(What time below on the 4. T. the feather bed they laid),
Off from the gulf's grim marge he shot like stone from catapult,
And-A later lay some later day may tell you the result.
Exit Churchillius ! Quite so. But actors have a way
Of dying hard one night, to live—and die—another day.
Gone from our gaze, young hero ! But such a splendid feat,
Is a performance that a " star " will probably repeat.
And lest the public bosom with anguish should be riven,
Of our Star's " reappearance" due notice will be given.
