WA2K Radio is now on the air, Part 3

THE SPEAKER's NEW NURSERY RHYME
"SHAME! Shame!"
Who cries "Shame"
Anyone the SPEAKER will "Name."

ONLY A ROOSE.

THERE's a nice cheerful paper byDr. Robson Roose in the Fort-
nightly for February, all about
Infection and Disinfection, and
what Mrs. RAM would call ''con-
tiguous diseases." He says that |t»i
the word Disinfection was not *~
known in literature till the end
of the last century. If they
hadn't the word, they had the
thing. "All the infections,"
are what Caliban wants to pour
out on Prospero's devoted head.
And hadn't Prospero disinfect-
ants ? Of course, or where was
the use of his art, or of SHAKESPEARE's invention ?

But the Doctor has got a
" bacterium " in pickle for the
healthiest of us. To think that
we have minute organisms— _
which means germs and nasty little
creatures, telescopic-rod-shaped, in
our mouths— alive all alive!—but—
ugh—it won't bear thinking of. To
whatever nationality we may belong,
the doctrine de la Roose describes us
as simply Germ'uns. Please, Doctor,
as you've given us physic in this
number, give us the sugar-plum to
take after it as soon as possible. professor Hump-backterium.
And don't go on being a nasty Germ,

but return to your old practical form about the Wear and Tear.
That's the style preferred by Mr. Punch and everybody else. Try
back-terium.

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

extracted from

THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

, Thursday, January 27.—Thought I'd make my way down early
to the House this morning. Well to get a good seat on Opening Day ;
these new Members are so eager; necessary to he up early in
order to circumvent them. Eleven o'Clock hadn't struck when
I crossed Palace Yard, but evidently wasn't first. Familiar figure
disappearing under gateway leading to entrance to House of Com-
mons. It was Randolph, who, hearing the patter of feet, waited
for me with his usual urbanity.

„ Ah, Toby, old man," he said, " going to get a seat, I suppose?
So am I. Might have corner seat behind Treasury Bench, but that
too common place for me. Everyone goes there after leaving a
Ministry. I mean to get old corner seat below the Gangway, sacred
to the memory of GORST and WOLFFY. Fancy I'll make W. H.
squirm when he comes, and finds me sitting there. Nuisance to have
to be down so early, but well to be on safe side."
Entered House together. Randolph made straight for corner seat
below Gangway. "Hallo ! " he cried, halting midway, and pointing,
with startled expression, towards corner seat. " "What's that ? "
No mistake on this point. It was a hat. Randolph advanced
cautiously but firmly, and taking up the intrusive object, anxiously
examined the lining.

"H C'-" he read out. " Can't be Childers. Of course not.
COBB? He daren't do it- Chaplin, by Jove! "
Our chief! Couldn't help glow of pride suffusing this mortal
me wnen I discovered this proof of our Chief's presence of mind,
and fertility of resource. That trip to Monaco evidently brightened
him.

"I wonder, now," said Randolph, reflectively, " if I were to sit
on it, and have it removed by one of the attendants, how that would
work. But then Chaplin would come, find me here, and guess at
once. Ho, I must leave it, and go into old. quarters."

Strode up the Gangway to corner seat, in which Ex-Ministers sit,
and take benevolent interest in procedure of old colleagues. Expected
to see him deposit his hat. Instead, took off his gloves, and, with
haughty gesture, flung them on the Bench. Then he wrote on a card

these lines,— . ...

" Who dares this pair of gloves displace
Must meet R. Churchill face to face."

Pinned the cartel to the gauntlet, and, turning, left the House.

Pleasant, after this stormy scene, to come upon Joseph Gillis.
Hardly knew him at first. Has been growing beard and moustache.
Not much yet, but full of hope.

"I'm agin repression anywhere," said Joseph Gillis. "Why
should an Irishman every morning, razor in hand, put in practice a
Coercion Act, levelling and evicting the honest attempt of whiskers
to establish themselves, and refusing to put in a moustache as
caretaker ? I'm a man of principle, and carry it into practice into
things big or little. Besides, I don't see why Randolph should
have the only moustache talked of in the House; and, since
Macfarlane left, there hasn't been a beard on any Bench worth
looking at. I mean to grow one."

House crowded later to hear Randolph's speech. Cunningly
conceived, and admirably delivered. Like most speeches from this
particular corner seat, vociferously cheered by Opposition. Con-tinuing narrative of events that led to his resignation, Randolph
fell into trick of saying',—

"lam sure my Right Hon. Friend, and my Noble Friend, will bear

me out when I say-"

All very well once. But repetition of invitation grew maddening.

Pretty to see Smith furtively turn-
ing up sleeves, and feeling his biceps,
whilst Lord George Hamilton
wrestled with his knee. What
would the Speaker say if they,
yielding to temptation, rose together,
made a rush at the corner seat, and
justified Randolph's confidence by
"bearing him out."

Full success of speech rather
marred by strategic movement of
our Chief. Turned on fog just before
Randolph rose. Increased in inten-
sity throughout speech. Figures
gradually lost to view, till not much
left of Randolph save the red rose
in button - hole, which gleamed
through the fog like a danger-signal
_ on a railway-track. Now's the time

„_, . . , ,, for " My Right Hon. and my Noble

" I'm agm repression anywhere. jtriends ! "

"I'm sure," said the voice near the red rose, "my Right Hon.
Friend and my Noble Friend will bear me out when I say-"

"Would they ? Smith glanced nervously at Lord George ; Lord
George, finally throwing his knee, began nervously to tear a copy of
the Orders to pieces. It was a critical moment. But hesitation was
fatal. A few more sentences and the voice ceased; the red rose was
observed to drop a foot or two. Randolph had resumed his seat, and
opportunity had fled.

Business done.—Address moved.

Friday.—Colonel Saunderson delivered lively address, on what he
called "the crisises in Ireland."

" Why " asked new Member, " does he call it crisises ? "

"Because," said Campbell Bannerman, "he naturally wants to
make the most of it."

Not many Members present, and after Saunderson, things rather
dull. Hicks-Beach stirred up Irish Members with long pole and
led to a little scene. Irish Members after their recent habit called
out " Shame ! " Speaker said word unparliamentary. Will " take
notice" (" As if he were a baby," John Dillon whispers) if the cry
is repeated. "Shame! shame!" Irish Members murmur among
themselves, but take care Speaker doesn't hear.

Business done.—Debate on Address.